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Silhouetted against blue lights, Kei's face filled the department store's windows - thin nose and frowning lips blotting out the view of the commercial district. The glass creaked as she pushed her cheek to it, scanning the aisles of gaudy dresses and loud suits. A man ran from a changing room screaming, still in his underwear. Like a girl tapping on an aquarium, she rattled the translucent surface. "Hey! Anyone spot a Lucifer agent? They'd be carrying a big metal thingy. Maybe in a bag." With minimal force, her glove pierced the glass, knocking over shelves of food and magazines. On lower levels, the walls could no longer withhold pressure from her teardrop-shaped breasts, and collapsed into chunks. She drew back in surprise, taking only half a step before her back pressed against a rival store. A flurry of screaming citizens exited the shop by her feet.

People on the street rushed into taller, firmer buildings for safety. Kei leaned against a subway station, brushing her sole on its window. "The way they act, you'd think I was a monster. Weird." When she sunk her shoulders into the wall, growling, she felt the structure tilting gently - and rose back up. "Look, the sooner someone points me to that thief, the sooner I stop breaking things."

She scanned the crowds for a response. Soon, one came from within the abandoned store: "Hah. A statement indicative of our galactic law enforcement system's brutality."

Kei spun, her backside gliding through a building's wall, to face the speaker. A thin, navy-suited man stood calmly in a window, holding a gigantic bag in his hands. A jetpack adorned his back. She grinned, and pointed hey finger out. "Found you! Be good and put your hands up!" Her hand reached through the glass.

The Lucifer agent slid underneath her gigantic hand, barely brushing her wrist - she only scooped a glove-ful of sports gear. "Be good? How could I? You couldn't possibly understand how I felt - abandoned in the forests of Nolandia -"

She swept her arm through the wall, interrupting him. "Okay, if it's gonna be like that, I'm game!" The barrier of flesh traversed the store after him, knocking over all sorts of merchandise and electronics.

The criminal flew through the ceiling, emerging on a higher floor. "Without finances to contact the 3WA, I was truly..."

SLAM. Kei threw a punch into the building. The upper level's lights exploded, coating her tan skin in a glorious display of red and blue shining. "Save your tragic backstory for later!" A whole storey collapsed when she pulled it out, a splatter of steel and plastic flying by her torso.

He appeared on a lower level now, breaking through the checked floor tiles into a pile of electronics.  "You create your own enemies, like how Sandra turned to a life of crime. I fight to warn you - Trouble Consultants don't serve the common good, but - "

PUNT. The woman kicked the foundation, sending quakes through the structure that felled product-filled walls. Whole streams of beauty products rained on her face, painting it in multiple colours. "Congratulations. I'm honestly starting to hate you."

The Lucifer agent flew out of the building, past the angel's bare midriff. She turned around, slapping for him - but he weaved expertly between her fingers. He landed inside a power plant, higher than Kei could reach. "Who's to say those hiring you have honest intentions? You might as well be bounty hunters -"

She twisted around, fists clenching akimbo. "Shut up already!" The redhead wrapped both of her mighty arms around the steel structure, and tugged back. The whole dark tower lifted into her arms, pipes and wires crumbling from the bottom. Robotics and researchers slid to the southern wall, the floor slanting underneath their feet.

Kei shook it, eyeing the criminal. "Come outta there!" The building's contents slipped in every direction, grabbing anything nailed to the floor for support. From inside the plant, loose wires fell in her cleavage - and a man inside tugged the power switch, trying not to fall. A harsh shock surged through her body, making her drop the building in shock.

"Ow! OW!" She stumbled back, hitting another department store.

It leaned over a little, creaking under pressure. Her face snapped into panic mode. "Woah! Don't fall! Time out, pause button!" The size ray was important, but so were the shoppers. She pushed it upright - but it quickly rolled over again. Some of the clients jumped out from above, landing into her soft bosom.

A sweep of the woman's feet knocked a few cars and billboards at the base, giving enough support to stop the store from falling... though the skyline now had one building leaning on an angle, a new Leaning Tower. She wiped the sweat from her headband, her muscles relaxing. "Look, guys, if Yuri shops here later, please tell her it was always titled like that." She turned back, looking for the Lucifer agent.

He was flying into the distance, through the star-painted sky, still prattling: "Thinking about shopping now? You're servants of capitalism, that unseen harbinger of gross excesses -"

The Lovely Angel groaned, picking the ruins and still-uninjured shoppers off her uniform. She fiddled with her fluffy hair. "I hope Yuri's target isn't this much of a jerk..."

Chapter End Notes:

Kei's long-winded target inspired by sci-fi blogs that over-analyze the Dirty Pair. I was originally going to make this story more deconstructive, so you could consider him my self-insert. (The only thing being deconstructed now is buildings.)

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