While maritime countries like Spain could be accessed via the Mediterranean and/or the Atlantic, countries in Central Europe were harder to access. Fortunately, the Soviet Union had constructed a runway in south East Germany during the Cold War, capable of landing a Soviet 4 person aircraft (and those planes were big). It was on this runway that AtlasTours were flying Americans into Central Europe. On one of these flights was Lauren, a backpacker who'd just graduated from college and had decided to spend the fall hiking across Europe. She'd decided her first stop would be Munich, an entire 40 minutes south of the airstrip for her, to check out Okoberfest.

As she trekked across rural Germany, into Bavaria, she was amazed by the scale of everything. Tiny little cars that could comfortably fit under her foot zipping along roads only barely wide enough for her to stand in legs together, ankle high barns housing tiny, living horses with similarly tiny cows roaming in fields looking as if they were on a farm playset a child would use at home yet smaller and more lively. She saw little forests with spruce trees no taller than she was. Pine trees that supposedly towered over nature looking more like Christmas trees and mighty oak trees that only came up to her waist. If she stood still for too long confused birds no bigger than her fingernail would attempt to roost in her thick blonde hair. She encountered towns of people, actual living, tiny people like from a fairytale who fled into their homes when they saw her approaching. Lauren was tempted to rip the roofs off those little houses to show how futile a hiding spot it would be but she didn't want to cause any damage. That was one of the few things the company had instructed her not to do. Don't harm locals, don?t cause damage to property and stay away from Microstates (as if they weren't all Microstates lol) entire countries that could fit on a tabletop were too deep of an insurance rabbit hole to go down. 

Eventually Lauren reached more built up areas on the outskirts of Munich. She saw industrial estates with warehouses up to her shins filled with little toy trucks, again, not toys. Lauren had to keep reminding herself that those were real, toy sized vehicles for real, ant sized people. In more urban areas she saw more ankle sized houses and also plattenbau apartment complexes that only reached her breasts with apartments that housed actual humans shorter than her index finger. She continued her walk into increasingly urban areas, she made a detour to the Allianz Arena, the inspiring home to Bayern Munich, at least it was inspiring to Europeans, to Lauren it was no bigger than a shipping container. Unfortunately, as it was still day time, it's famous lights weren’t turned on but it was still somewhat impressive all the same, as a big soccer fan, Lauren had always wanted to visit the various stadiums of Europe and this was the first building that Lauren had seen that was taller than her but she still came pretty close to its height considering it was a stadium meant for 75,000 people. As she continued her walk towards Theresienwise for the festival she began to need to watch her step as she passed through more densely built up areas. As she continued to walk she had less places to plant her feet as the roads became increasingly heavy with traffic. Terrified drivers made their best effort to clear the road for her, the fear of being crushed under an American’s sandal (Lauren wore Birkenstocks to have something Germany-y on her, they gave the Germans a great view of her, to them, massive red painted toes) proving a great incentive to ease traffic congestion. Lauren just loved how adorable Europe was, how these little people put in huge efforts and spent huge amounts of money to build big and powerful machines and large structures yet she, a petite American, could crush them all under her feet. All those three or four story buildings in the city that barely reached her knees. Sure there were bigger buildings, some bigger than her, some a good bit but it was what was so big to them and so unimpressive to her which she found amusing. 

Eventually she reached the fest, the people partaking in the weisn festivities being drunk enough that the sight of a gigantic woman didn't scare them into running for their lives. She decided to try some of the local beer first. The company had given her a machine that dispensed Euros and other European currency into her hand as huge dollar bills the size of cars were pretty useless in Europe. She used the money to pay for one of the famous steins sold at Oktoberfest that many tourists had trouble finishing but the only trouble that Lauren had was not crushing it between her fingers, the beer barely made an indentation into her thirst. She could hock loogies with enough spit to fill 5 of those. Not being able to fit in a tent, she crouched down to an outside stall and ordered 10 more drinks, and finished them without a spot of bother, by then she had not even drank the equivalent to one bottle of beer in the US (a bottle of beer that would be as tall as a two storey house to a German) and having attended 3 years of college, she could handle much more so she ordered ten more and then another ten more, going through all the famous Oktoberfest staples. Palauner, Augustiner-Bräu, Löwenbräu all gulped down by the gallons. By her 50th she had drawn a crowd of rowdy Germans, Frenchs, Pols and even a couple of Brits while Dutch, Belgians, Swiss and Austrians cheered from the smaller sections of the festival. All were impressed by the alcohol tolerance of this giant as she swigged down mug after mug of drink. Malts and Lagers, pale and dark went down by the maß as the American seemed intent on drinking all of the beer in Bavaria. By her 100th she was starting to get tipsy and figured she should sit down before she caused an accident, so she did sit down, without looking to see where she was sitting and unfortunately one of the smaller tents was right under where her butt would land. Germans scrambled to evacuate as the American slowly descended upon them but not all could get out before she came down on the tent, completely obliterating it. Miraculously, nobody was harmed. Lauren immediately stood up in horror, relieved to see that nobody was harmed. All eyes were on her and it made her uncomfortable, she was the centre of attention once again but this time for all the wrong reasons. Suddenly she heard gasps from down at her feet. Some Germans were pointing at her butt in surprise which Lauren was used to people doing but then she suddenly learned why by way of a wriggling sensation in her butt. She turned around to see, wedged in between her two running short clad cheeks was a local, about her age, who hadn't gotten out in time. She pinched him out from her cheeks between her thumb and forefinger and set him on the ground between her feet where crowds gathered around to check if he was ok when without warning he sprung up and yelled ‘EINS ZWEI DREI G?SUFFA!’ prompting a chorus of cheers, the raising of glasses and more dancing as the oompah music resumed. Lauren too began dancing, which the locals became very aware of as she caused the ground to repeatedly shake to a point that nobody in her vicinity could remain standing, fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, her dancing was brought to a screeching halt when she misplaced a step and completely demolished a confectionary stall under her sandal clad foot. Fortunately it was pretty late and the stall was empty and the locals were too exhausted to get that mad. By that point Lauren decided it would be safer to remove her footwear incase of another misstep, exposing her feet to the evening air and permeating it with their smell, and after a day of near constant use, that smell was very strong. Especially when you’re a German and those feet belong to an American and are taller than a double decker bus when upright. After continuing in enjoying the festivities for a while with more dancing and drinking, she briefly stopped to observe the Europeans around her and noticed the same guy she had almost crushed earlier. Realising she had never actually apologised to him, she bent over and plucked him up from where he stood and brought him up to her face. She was still in awe of the fact that these people were small enough to pick up and hold between her fingers and she hadn’t realised how cute he was until then but he seemed startled and nervous at being held between the fingers of a giant so she transitioned him into the palm of her hand and began speaking, using her very limited German to check up on the guy, ‘Du bist gut?’ she enquired. ‘Yes I’m alright’ he responded in perfect English ‘It was honestly pretty funny and I guess I got to see more of your butt then most men ever do?. Lauren laughed thinking of how men back at home put things much longer than he was in where he’d been. 

‘Oh I’m Lauren by the way? she said, realising they hadn’t been properly introduced 

‘My name is Marco, do you enjoy Oktoberfest?’ He asked

‘Yeah it’s pretty great but you guys are intense?

Marco chuckled ‘Well you were drinking a fair amount too!

‘Only because you guys only sell your beer by the drop’ Lauren shot back

‘Haha I guess, you are sort of correct about it being intense. Munich is usually a much quieter city. We call Oktoberfest our fifth season, perhaps it is better that tourists see it at another time of year. See what else Munich has to offer.’

‘Well maybe you could show me around’ suggested Lauren to the man she now held comfortably in the palm of her hand. 

‘It would be my pleasure’ responded Marco, looking up at the beautiful billboard sized face of the American girl who’s palm he stood in. 

With that, Lauren rose to her full height and set off out of the Weisn, passing the Bavaria statue that towered over Theresienwise yet was only as high as her crotch. She left her birkenstocks behind because right now some kids had climbed up onto them and began drinking from the top of them which was a sight to behold itself for Lauren. A tiny party taking place in her shoes, not wanting to spoil the fun she left them be, besides, it was not like she had to worry about anybody taking them. As she stepped into the streets Germans had to move quickly to avoid ending up crushed under her bare feet as she set off through the tiny city once more.