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Monday, June 28th, 2004.


I wake up, landing on a hard porcelain surface. It kinda hurts at first, the fall damage. The smell of feces and urine around me, I see toilet paper landing around me. A couple of farts emit from the gaping pink hole in front of me. I can see a little bit of Jessica's butt hairs, seemingly small peach colored hairs from her cheeks spread on the toilet seat. She's got a surprisingly thick ass.

"I'm never eating this much again" Jessica says with a bit of a pain in her voice, I think all that food made her constipated, judging how solid everything is. she gets of off the toilet and turns around.

I shift and move, trying to break myself free of the feces. And I do, the smell not being that bad to me due to the fact I worked at a grocery store for awhile, and people would do stupid stuff like take a shit in the aisles as a stupid prank and I'd end up cleaning it up since no one else would, even the Janitors were pretty hesitant on cleaning up bodily functions and fluids.

Jessica's blue eyes looking back at me. I also notice that the toilet has a shelf, and doesn't have a drop down bowl like the rest of the toilets I've seen so far. I think it's just a German thing, because when I was in England it was basically a American toilet with less water. Jessica kinda looks like Drew Barrymore the more I look at her face, like how she looked in that one Adam Sandler Movie that came out this year that I took Molly out to one Saturday a couple of months ago. I think it was called 50 First Dates. Her teeth are as white as the porcelain I'm currently in. Her hair dirty blonde at the bottom but regular blonde at the bottom. I start to wiggle a bit, freeing myself out of the feces, and onto the clean, white, other side of the toilet shelf.

"I THINK I SEE SOMETHING MOVING" Jessica says, the clearest English I've ever heard from her, she sounds totally shocked.

Judging by the light I see out I think it's the early morning, four or five o'clock.

"I bet it was a tapeworm considering how much you ate last night" I hear Karl say in the bedroom.

"No, I'm serious" She says, eyeing me. I can kinda see a little bit of her tit as she bends down and the rest of her boobs.

"I'm not looking at your Scheisse" Karl says, I hear him putting his blankets of over his head.

Surprisingly, I'm actually pretty clean despite being having to dig myself out of poop and urine, the smell being on me but it won't take long for it to go away.

"Ist das ein kleiner Mann?" (Is that a little man?) Jessica says, noticing me for the first time, she moves me away with her finger, she grabs me and places me in the bathroom sink before flushing the toilet.

"Uh, don't know what you're saying, but okay" I say, Jessica is stunned for a mintute as she turns the water on. It's like taking a really heavy cold shower, I stay in for about a minute before I air-dry myself. Whatever shit and piss stains on me washing off in the sink

"WHAT THE FUCK?" She says, I notice she's still in her panties and bra. She has a pretty sexy figure too, hourglass-ish and kinda thick in the thighs and hips too, her panties ruby red and somewhat small on her. I guess American Pie was right about older women, she's pretty hot, even though she doesn't look much older than thirty.

I hear Karl rush in, he looks about to be in his mid 30s. He's wearing glasses and he's in a grey tank top and his boxers, his hair has some grays in it, so I guess he started graying early. He has kind of a goatee.

"What?" Karl says, looking at me and then shifting his direction to Jessica.

"It JUST SPOKE" Jessica says, still freaked out. Her voice seems to get louder with each yell.

"That's right" I say, starting to have some fun in this situation.

Karl falls over and faints, Jessica screams and runs into the kitchen. I worry on what she might do, I attempt to run and get near the slightly open window near the edge of the tub and the bathroom and Jessica busts in with a Weck Jar in tow, I attempt to slide out the window, hoping I land on grass but Jessica has a strong grip on my leg as I slide, I'm worried she might disjoint my right leg.

"I'm going to show you off to the world, lucky for you, I'm a nurse at the hospital. Maybe we could do some tests on you, see why you're like this" Jessica says with a devious smile, dropping me in the jar and closing the lid, sealing it tight with her pink colored fingernails.

"Please don't, Please" I cry out, this has been my biggest fear all along.

"Too bad" she says with a evil-ish laugh, before setting me near the edge of the bathroom counter.

"How did you get here anyway, you're not German, you're a American, and were you always small? You don't look that old either, you seem like " She says, she sits on the toilet seat with the top down, having a good amount of interest in her voice.

"To make a long story short, I ate a bad plant getting out the airport, went on vacation in England and then went to Germany, and now I'm here. I'm eighteen, actually" I say, my voice sounding muffled through the thick jar glass. I'm not surprised she thought I was older, I used to get mistaken for 21 or 22 fairly often back at home.

"But how did you end up inside me?" Jessica says, pushing her hair back.

I notice Karl starts to wake up, getting up off the floor and walking back to his room, and climbing back into his bed, seemingly not caring about what's going on right now.

"Uh, well. I ended up getting stuck in the tire treads of your car, and you drove here, and then I got free and you stepped on me, and then somehow I flew into the lasagna you had yesterday coming from your shoe, and then you ate me" I say, planning out a plan to knock the glass jar on the ground and making a run for it in case shit goes south.


"Wait, so you survived all that?" She says, pointing her right pointer finger right at her innie belly button.

"Yep" I respond.

"You really have been somewhere no man has ever gone before" she says, giving me a smile and licking her lips in a playful way.

"That's one way of looking at it" I say, I pace in circles inside the jar.

"Welp, I gotta get ready for work. I might let you stay hidden and you'll become my new pet" Jessica says, as she gets up from sitting down on the toilet seat and out into the bedroom, closing the door but still leaving the light on.

"Fuck" I mumble under my breath, I think to myself that I have four days left before I have to get back to England for my return flight somehow.

I'm left with just my thoughts and the light outside shining and the sun rising, and the sound of the three light bulbs in a row on the top of the sink buzzing. I know the first thing I'm doing when I get back to the states is probably hang out with Molly and Jon, not going to third wheel Jon or anything, though me and Molly might get some alone time to make up for all the time I've been gone. I've noticed another thing too, I'm actually in a place where whites seem to be the majority, in Manchester and Berlin. It's a weird feeling to me, living in Baltimore and Charlotte and being one of the few white people at school or in public. I never really noticed this until now. I hear the noises of Jessica and Karl talking and putting on clothes and heading out to their respective jobs, Karl being some type of Engineer, Jessica being a nurse at a local hospital. I see Karl walk in and brush his teeth, not really noticing me, or just choosing not to acknowledge me.

"You're as real as Saint Nicholas to me, you must be some type of robot. Some American robot" he says, after rinsing his mouth out with mouthwash and walking out.

"I'm the real deal" I say, shrugging my shoulders as Karl walks out, he's dressed in a button down white shirt and work pants, black loafers on.

I hear Jessica walk in, she's dressed in blue scrubs and blue pants and a pair of sneakers. She looks kinda hot with her hair in a bun.

"C'mon, come with me" She says, smiling and opening the top of the jar, pouring me into her hand and puts me into her pants pocket, it's way roomer than any other pocket I've been in. I feel Jessica walk and put the glass on the counter and turning the light off in the a bathroom.

"I mean, I can drop you off at work and I'll take the car today" Karl says, I hear him putting on a tie.

"Yeah, that works. Your job is more on the outskirts of Berlin anyways" She says, as Jessica and Karl walks out and locks the door.

I bounce around as she goes down the stairs and outside, judging by the light outside I think it's about 7 in the morning. I hear her open her passenger door and climb in, the car feeling somewhat cold from being outside all night. She sits down and closes the door and puts her seat belt on, Karl opening the door and quickly sitting down and inserting his keys in and cranking up the Passat, he shifts and goes in reverse, before shifting to first gear and driving out of the parking lot and onto the streets.

I feel Jessica lean over a bit and turn the radio on, it being some German sports talk show, talking about the Euros, everything else I don't understand, Jessica turns the radio, landing on some German pop station, playing some song I don't understand, I don't think it's even German "Maya ya he, maya ya who, maya ha" or whatever the lyrics are. Karl makes a comment mumbling how it sounds like shit, but Jessica says she rather hear this than sports talk radio, which shuts Karl up. The drive from the apartment to the hospital is about 15 minutes, with traffic. Karl drops Jessica off in front of the hospital, he tells her to have a nice day at work as he drives off.

Jessica walks into the hospital and checks in into her shift, the hospital sounding somewhat busy during this time, the sound of patients and doctors talking and being rushed to and fro, all in German. I hear Jessica walk into the cafeteria of the hospital and getting a coffee and a Mars Bar, judging by her conversation with one of the people. I hear her unwrapping the chocolate bar and eating it, and taking a swift drink of her coffee. A flake of chocolate with a hint of caramel on it drops into her pocket, it's the size of my head. I take about 3 huge bites of it before getting full. It kinda tastes like a Milky Way back at home, but less sweet.

She makes conversation with one of her fellow nurses, in German. I can't really understand the conversation their having, but I think Jessica starts it off with her new car, noticing the word "Auto" and "Volkswagen" in her first sentence, they talk for about 15 minutes or so and then Jessica is called up to service a patient.

She walks into the room, it smelling like well, bleach and cleaning products, that good ol' hospital smell. The patient seems to be a elderly women who broke her hip, and is about to go into surgery. Judging by her voice and the doctor coming in and talking to her, this whole ordeal lasts for about 45 minutes to a hour. And then after that Jessica goes into one of her stations, going on the computer and talking to people online, I notice that Familiar chime too, the Window XP sound making me kinda homesick. I think about my life at home, starting to dive into sadness again but I stop myself, giving myself hope that I might grow back to normal. As soon as I get back to normal I'm going straight back home, I'm even debating if I wanna go to UCLA this fall for law school, even though they already chose me.


Jessica's on the computer for about two hours, I hear her stomach gurgle a couple of times, out of still digesting that coffee and chocolate bar, a odd combination for a breakfast but it's better than when Sarah drank that Red Bull. She burps a couple of times too, getting catching some of the attention from one of the doctors, telling her to stop burping and saying it's gross, in English. She giggles a bit and says alright. She gets up at the end of it, being called to tend to another patient. It's a man in his early 40s with his wife and teenage daughter and son in his room, Jessica greets them and hands the man some pills, I usually don't pay attention to the conversation they're having due to the fact it's pretty much all in German, with a couple of English or American English terms mixed in here or there. This whole process takes about maybe around 30-45 minutes before she leaves.

Eventually it becomes noon, Jessica spending her time asking around if she's needed and spending time on one of the computers again before 12. She goes on her lunch break downstairs into the cafeteria, Jessica gets beef stew, a bread roll, and a salad and a some kind of soda called Mezzo Mix. She sits with her friends, mostly female and a couple of males. She finishes her food fairly quickly, her lunch break is about a hour I've noticed, she doesn't say anything about me thank God during the conversation. She finishes her lunch and goes back up stairs.

"LAUF LAUF LAUF!" I hear the voices of medics say and the rushing in of a gurney and family members crying.

"SIE, KRANKENSCHWESTER KRAUS, GEHEN DORT, DIESER MANN HAT EINEN HERZANGRIFF!" (YOU, NURSE KRAUS, GET IN THERE, THAT MAN IS HAVING A HEART ATTACK!) I hear one of the Doctors order her, I feel Jessica rush after the gurney.

"Put HIM ON THE BED, PUT HIM ON THE BED" One of the doctors say, I poke my head out a little bit, I'm shocked, it's Jonas's Father. I see Jonas himself scared, Sarah next to him with tears in her eyes, Paul seemingly scared also, Lena in tears running down her cheek.

"What happened?" Jessica says, turning her attention towards Sarah.

"He was doing yard work and we saw him just fall over for no (she hiccup cries) reason" Sarah says, her shaky voice and her Scottish accent really coming out.

Some more Nurses rush in, one with a defibrillator and another with IV stuff.

"THREE, TWO, ONE" One of the nurses say before giving a almost dead looking Frank a shock, another nurse attempting to hook him up.

Frank shows no response, and his family plus Sarah start to either cry or cry harder depending on the family member.

The Nurse does it a second time, and Frank starts to come back to life, not fully, but his heart rate starting to comeback from being flatlined to slowly rising up again, to the relief of everyone.

"I thought I'd lost my husband" Lena says, starting to cry tears joy instead. The boys and Sarah start to look relieved.

I see Sarah pace out of the room and down the hallway. I quickly realize that going home with Sarah might be the only way I'll make it back to the UK and be able to make it back to my flight home to America. I notice everyone's focused on Frank and him starting to come back to life. I slowly slide out of Jessica's pocket, Jessica seemingly not noticing me sliding out and dropping on the floor, but as soon as I make the drop right near Jessica's bus sized sneaker, I run like hell after Sarah, dodging feet and legs and wheelchairs and crutches moving around me.Everyone's too focused on their own stuff to even notice me, or just dismissing me as a bug if they do see me. I take a turn, my heart racing, I see Sarah go into the women's restroom. I slide through the crack in the door, the women's bathroom seemingly empty besides Sarah and me. Sarah goes into the first stall and closes the door, I hear her pull down her pants and grabs a toilet seat cover and places it on the toilet before sitting down.

"Sarah, it's me" I say, sliding under the stall. The stalls in Europe don't seem to have those gaps under the doors like the public restroom stalls in America do.

"OH MY GOD, I THOUGHT I LOST YOU" Sarah says, looking down at me, surprised and relieved at the same time.

"Yeah, I somehow fell out of your pocket while you were getting out the car and kinda stuck in the tire treads of another car as I tried to get back to you, long story short I ended up in the belly of one of the nurses in that room, the blonde one, and she pooped me out this morning with the rest of her food, I tagged along with her and here I am" I say, Ignoring the small toot that came out of Sarah's ass before peeing and the sound of her urine hitting the bowl.

"I thought you ran off or something, you're lucky I didn't tell Emily and decided to wait a little bit longer" She says, the steam of piss ending and she tells me to turn around for she can pull her knickers and trousers up, and I do.

Sarah flushes the toilet and puts me in her pants pocket, My surroundings being a Werther's Original wrapper and I think a 2 Euro coin in her pocket. She goes and washes her hands for about a minute or two and then dries them off and walks out, back into the hospital hallway and back into the hospital room, all the nurses gone.

"What did they say?" Sarah says, as she walks through the door.

"They said he should stay in the hospital for a couple days, just to make sure" Paul says, looking back as she walks in.

"But he's okay, yeah?" Sarah says, I see Frank give her a weak smile and a thumbs up.

Jonas walks up to her, you can totally tell he's been crying.

"I'm moving back to Germany. This whole event here reminds me how much my family needs me. I'll fly or take a train to Manchester to come visit you, but after we're done in Germany, I'm packing all my things and moving to a flat here, not too far from the house" He says, to her.

"I understand" Sarah says, she leans in and kisses him softly on his cheek.

We spend the rest of the day in the Hospital, watching the TV in the hospital room until about 10'o clock at night or so, saying our goodbyes. We ate at the Hospital so we weren't really hungry when we got home. Lena drove us home in Frank's same SUV, the ride being quiet and the music of soft early 70s pop-rock being played in the car. Sarah puts me back in the suitcase while Jonas is taking a shower, and I quickly fall asleep. Being glad I at least have some form of someone who knows where I am.
Chapter End Notes:
Hope that scat stuff wasn't too gross for you guys at the beginning, I'm not really into it either but I tried to go light on it and focus more on Jessica's butt. I really only added it because it would be pretty realistic after how much Jessica ate and what she ate.
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