Comments: Vortex, when you told me you intended to compose a story written in the second person while featuring a woman working at a hotel, I have to confess that I was somewhat skeptical. Second person stories are not easy to write in an inclusive way. Furthermore, a story about a hotel employee didn't sound particularly exciting. Now that you have written the story and I have read it, I have to admit something. I was completely wrong. As is the norm with your writing, you quickly anchor the reader by giving us a sense of place. The hotel room was well described, right now do the shampoo in the shower and the packed suitcases in the room, as well as the white marble and chandeliers of the Grand Imperial Hotel. We quickly adjust to the second person narration, so rarely seen in literature. Any author knows that it it's a slippery fish to keep hold of, but you manage this, seemingly without much effort. From the outset, we are interested in this mysterious Vicotria, the sultry voice at the other end of the phone during the wake-up call. Your description of her paints a glowing picture, giving us her voice, her mannerisms, the songs she sings to in the car, even the clothes she wears. She even is selfless enough to go out of her way for others by looking up the weather and traffic reports for 'us.' The subtle flirting is endearing as well; the winks, the smirks. One couldn't expect to get far with flirting with a hotel employee, but Victoria seems both interested and professional while definitely not coming across as a trollop. The lackadaisical and cavalier attitude of vortex shrinkies towards the people they shrink is once more on display . While we know many people shrunken down and sold very much deserve their fate, the reader is simply at the wrong place in the wrong time. And suddenly here we are in a Vortex box, being given to the hotel as a promotional gift. It's thoroughly dehumanizing. But you don't simply drop us into the scene. The reader wakes up in confusion, his (or her) circumstances slowly dawning upon us with a hammering heart. Being shrunk is a death sentence as well as a stark evaluation of one's worth. It's terrifying but it's also enough to make one shudder with rage. What a brilliant stroke of writing and a thorough understanding of the human condition to show both emotions burning at once. I have to confess to enjoying the little interludes that featured other shrinkies, such as Joe Gunderson. That was a bit of fun. I also liked how some of the shrinkies pled for their lives. "Not me" or "I'm not ready" were some delightful little lines those delicious shrinkies shouted out that made me smile. I could easily imagine someone yelling exactly these things in their predicament. Then Victoria returns, takes the box in which the reader is trapped, and the story truly begins to get going. We watch a few other shrinkies swallowed, getting glimpses of Victoria's personality as she (and you) allow it. The brief recollection of being upset the first time eating shrinkies, feeling guilty, and crying herself to sleep make her seem more relatable. I love how she handled the situation and eventually justified eating shrinkies again. The car ride was filled with small but pleasant little details. Being treated rather carelessly and rattling around inside the box was a great touch. One could imainge people in the Vortex Universe wouldn't think too much about treating boxes of shrinkies carefully. After all, they're just food. Passing the airport was a scene that stood out for me. Victoria doesn't have the goals the reader does, and simply goes home. It's as if life is bringing the reader down an unexpected road. That by itself was ominous. But the scene is peppered with such other delightful little tidbits, such as Victoria's singing, as well as the occasional news flash. Then we get home and things really take off. One thing about this story that strikes the reader is how present Victoria is throughout. From the wakeup call at the beginning, along with some flirting, to being eaten at end, (the delightful end) Victoria is the theme that runs through the story. In fact I would say she is THE story here, and the reader is just a small part of a rather uneventful day in her life. You took a character so briefly discussed in your story 'Good for Goodness Sake,' but even then, Victoria was hinted at being an interesting person, so much so that I think everyone who read that story were clamoring for Victoria to take center stage. She finally has. We were not disappointed. Thank you for this story. I hope we see Victoria again someday

Comments: a wonderful narrative

Comments: The best vore story out there.