Reviewer: ArtimusG Signed
Date: June 06 2013
Title: Chapter 7: Chapter 7
It's been a while since I last really, really looked forward to a story update here, but you've got me hooked! For a first attempt at posting a story here, you have by far outdone the standards most people shoot for. There are so many elements here that I appreciate going in this story, some very obvious, some not so obvious.
For example, I'm a huge unaware and footplay kind of person. Flip flops are in my top favorites for women to wear while interacting with shrunken people. Starting the story out with that kind of content already had me interested. However, a more subtle idea that you've used (and there should be more of this) is having the woman nearly end her friends' lives under foot, and soon after, she becomes as small as them, enduring the same problem with another friend. It's a very humbling concept and gives a very tangible emotion to the story, and a better sense of perspective.
Speaking of perspective, mentioned in earlier comments was how you haven't made much mention (that I've seen) of their specific size. Intentional or not, that tends to work for very select stories, yours being one of them. I prefer much smaller sizes, and this allows me to assume the group is the size I like.
Finally, the introduction of a character who is aware of the situation, and re-introducing the footplay in a whole new way is refreshing, like buying your favorite brand of cereal after trying a different brand for a while. It's familiar, and yet new, again. You've done a good job keeping is exciting and anticipating the mood of the story very well here. I hope to see you not only continue this story, but add others as well!
Author's Response: I really appreciate the great review! I'm glad you mentioned enjoying the whole "Amy went from towering over everyone else to standing just as small as them" thing. I really love this idea and I plan to continue playing with it and Amy's thoughts as the story goes on. I actually read through chapter 3 again a few days ago and realized I left something out that I had planned to write in. I put in a little paragraph where she finds a trench in the ground that had been created by her heel before she shrunk and she just stands there, mesmerized by it.
Thank you very much for the review and for reading, I hope you continue to enjoy!