Reviewer: Petite Soeur Signed [Report This]
Date: March 26 2021 6:04 AM Title: Chapter 7: Meowving On.

The last two chapters felt like they underwent a tonal shift with Alex dining in rubbish bins. Thinking back on it, the plot feels like a movie that has been edited in a way where certain scenes and plot points don't make sense until a director's cut with the removed and alternate scenes is later released.

 

It's hard for me to understand the time lapse and distance Alex travelled when he escaped from his mother. I would have to reread that particular chapter if I want to fully and accurately articulate my feelings. You introduced the nano-treats that cause growth, and had the kittens partake in them, making me believe they would experience a growth spurt similar in intensity to their grandmother, but the results were far tamer than what I expected, and makes Amber feel like she was frozen in time with her daughters despite her friend migrating away and Amber converted her and Alex's father. When Alex was brought into the bedroom with the computer, I thought his daughter was going to grow until she filled up the entire bedroom like Alice in Wonderland, and I thought Alex's blanking out when entering the commands into the computer were the result of Amber's punishment. So most of this 7th chapter felt like a big question mark when Alex believed he succeeded in changing things back to normal, like you wanted to push back the results of Alex blanking out to the chapter after this one with filler that might've worked better if the reader was more emotionally invested in Alex succeeding to symphasise with the sense of despair at having the rug pulled out from under him, but it's still hard for me to even wrap my head around the idea he was on a long, exhausting journey eating garbage.

 

In any case, I'm hoping the final chapter makes up for what I was hoping was going to happen in this chapter. The idea of the catgirls having multiple breasts opened up a scenario in my head of what it would be like for someone tiny to traverse their bellies and reach the breast valley crossroad. Like one fetish fantasy with multiple breasts is that it's possible for horizontal Paizuri between the top and bottom sets of boobs and Paizuri between all four sets of breasts. With size fetish, there's something called a fullbody Paizuri, and with multiple boobs, I'm curious how different this play experience could be described with additional rows of breasts. 

 

Maybe once this is finished, I'll go back and reread this story to determine if my above issues were due to my short term memory and the long lapse of time between chapters.

Author's Response:

Thank you for your review. I believe from this sort of review I see that I missed to put some key details and connect things correctly. I will need to go over things and do some editing so that the story is as clear as possible. 

 

Hopefully I can answer some of the questions here and clirfy some things.

From the time Alex escapes his mother to getting home is around two-half weeks to three weeks. his mother was located faraway from people so she could unbirth people and tranform them in secert. I needed some time to show the great distance Alex had to travel while hitchhiking. he had to eat garbage along the way to avoid being seen by people. He was small at three feet and he had mouse ears and mouse tail. That draws weird attention that he did not want. He had to live low.

For the kittens, there growth was going to limited at the beginning. the four kittens shared one muffin while each of the other girls ate an enitre muffin, there is not the same amount of Nanobots inside the kittens. The Nanobots needed time and energy to create more Nanobots for themselves. The mother also overdosed on the energy bars to allow her to grow really big. I am trying to keep the law of conservation of mass and energy as best I can, I will bend that rule but I try to keep it. We will see the kittens become bigger now that Amber is in complete control of Nanobots.

The reason Alex blacked out was because he was so tired of having sex with Lola. He was at the point of complete exhaustion when he attempt the computer. I will have to make it clear during the edits that he is passing out from being tired than a mental attack from Amber for using the computer.

Hopefully I can get the sense of hope pulled from underneath him right in the edits.

For the Paizuiri idea, I like it and hope to put it in the story.