Reviewer: barabba9000 Signed [Report This]
Date: November 11 2023 12:33 PM Title: Shrinking into a New Job

Well my suggestion is always the same-2 or 3 spinoff chapters which take place in the 1:200 city-with maybe a scene where the colleague who appears in the first chapter takes a look at it through a huge magnyfing glass. And then, who knows. Seems appropriate. What do you think about this tiny spinoff? 

Author's Response:

Love the idea, I definitely plan to come back and do a few spinoffs (maybe even a sequel one day).

Reviewer: It Was Me Signed [Report This]
Date: October 17 2023 8:03 AM Title: The Escape

This was a fitting ending (aside from the epilogue, of course) to a great story!

I mentioned in a couple of my previous reviews that I felt like Justin was being set up to actually play a role in the endgame here, and these last two chapters have definitely delivered on that. Given his size, that wasn't an easy task, but you found ways to make Justin into a vital part of both climactic scenes. I was glad to see him make use of his trusty knife once again, especially after he questioned if it would be of any use to him beforehand. And while I figured his engineering skills would come into play, I certainly didn't expect him to help figure out how to grow someone past their original height. That was pretty cleverly done.

The one other thing I'll say about growth factoring into the chapter is that it would have played better if the possibility had been hinted at during a previous point in the story. Maybe a quick mention about the collar's PCB during the scene where Rae was shrunk, as she was working on the collar at the time. Or a reason that prevents growth past one's original height could have been mentioned earlier, only for Rae to quickly explain why that reason didn't apply during the malfunction. As it reads now, it does seem a tad convenient that a method of growth was introduced at just the right time for our heroes to prevail. This didn't ruin the scene for me, but I do think the growth would have felt more organic to the story if there would have been some indirect clue about it beforehand.

That last introspective with Jazmin before the big finale was pretty interesting. I like how it seemed as though she was more annoyed at the fact that Claire put up a fight than the actual pain her former friend caused her. She was rationalizing her decision to shrink Claire, even after Claire "betrayed" her. I think this shows that, even after everything, she really views Claire as a friend. Unfortunately for Claire, she's alive and breathing, which means Jazmin expects her to bend to the spoiled heiress's whims.

Still, she thinks she was doing Claire a favor, or, at least, that's what she's trying to convince herself. For all we know, she did the same thing with Lana, going so far as to break her mentally in order to make her a more compliant "friend." Like I said in my last review, whether Jazmin ordered it or Lana did it on her own, they were starting to put Claire through a similar process, one that she thankfully won't have to complete now.

The contrast between Jazmin's view of all people being her playthings but wanting some semblance of companionship with one or two of them, Hank's view of all people as stepping stones or tools to bring him more profits, and Katie's ability to toggle between heartless bitch and charming socialite really caught my attention in this chapter, mostly because of Katie. The way she talks to her sex-toy-to-be like they're old friends sharing sex stories (especially as disturbing as hers would be to Brooke) seems to illustrate that she sees tinies that she plans to use as objects exactly the same as she sees someone her own size. But, like her husband and daughter, that equality isn't a good thing, as, again, the family's view of all people (even each other, as Jazmin demonstrates later on) is that they exist to be used.

But, unlike Hank and Jazmin, Katie actually holds a casual conversation with Brooke (you now, aside from the threatening and whatnot). She's such a social butterfly, given you've got something to say that interests her. I'm just blown away by how you've created a family that holds such a degrading, materialistic view on humanity, yet made each of them incredibly unique from one another. It's like a deep dive into the differing ways to wear sociopathy.

Oh, and I love how Brooke was able to use Katie's interest in her sex life to distract her and buy Rae and Justin time to save her (although I doubt she realized they were going to actually save her, given their respective sizes when she last saw them.).

I said it last chapter, but I really, really like Rae. She wasn't what I expected at all! She's logical, cool under pressure, a little flirty, REALLY horny all the time apparently, and, most importantly, decisive. She's a fun character to read but also one that I would buy pulling off some crazy plans (this may have helped me ease into that sudden introduction of growth issue I mentioned above). Seeing her paired with Justin here was really enjoyable, as their two characters play off one another very well: two geniuses, one a straight-laced engineer and the other a sexy, kind of goofy inventor who (thankfully for Justin's sake) doesn't swallow!

And it was very satisfying to see her be the one to take down Hank and Katie, given the dark turn the story took during the chapter detailing her kidnapping and new life under their "care."

And now for a little constructive criticism:

You had mentioned before that you had a lot to cover with this last chapter and the epilogue, and this climactic chapter did feel just a bit rushed to me. I think this chapter might have been better served if it had been broken up into two chapters, and I did have a couple thoughts on how they might have worked, if you'll indulge my armchair quarterbacking for a minute.

My first thought is that the final battle in Micropolis could have been explored a bit more from Justin's point of view. I like how it's noted that he helped the residents evacuate, but I think the battle could have benefitted from more details on this. Spending a few paragraphs detailing the chaos as our hero is directing panicked residents to the mixed size area amid all of the thunderous booms and devastating footsteps could have elevated the stakes for the reader, giving us a better idea of just how terrifying Brooke's struggle with Jazmin was to the residents. Also, describing part of the fight from the perspective of Justin glancing up during his evacuation efforts could have really sold how big of a struggle the catfight seemed at "ground level," and this, in turn, would have added to the parts of the fight described from titaness level, such as Brooke falling on the bar, as the reader's imagination would have likely incorporated Justin's perspective into them.

Second, and personally, I was hoping to see a bit more of life in Jazmin's dollhouse. I would have loved to have seen the psychological effects living under the rules instituted by Lana have had on some of its other unwilling tenants, and I think a little check-in with Claire and Ally would have made for some nice filler to give the story more room to breathe via an extra chapter. Have the other residents of the dollhouse just given in to their new reality? Are there still some stubborn tinies trying vainly to fight back? Would Ally need to rely on Claire to protect her from some of the other "big" tinies there?

It also would have been cool to see Claire and Ally bond a little, as they're two characters I previously never thought would interact directly because of the size difference between them for most of the story (I figured Justin would interact with Claire again eventually, but only because he's the main character). But I also think their personalities would mesh really well; I think they'd certainly become pretty tight if they hung out a few times, regardless of size (assuming they could communicate). So I was interested to see those two interact a bit more.

Granted, you may have something along these lines planned as part of the epilogue (a little pre-rescue scene or something), but I feel that, even if you go that route, any drama surrounding them in the dollhouse is gone now that we know for sure that help is on the way.

So, I guess what I'm saying is that this ending might have flowed a bit better if this chapter ended with Hank and Katie being captured and teasing the dramatic climax at Micropolis and another chapter either expanding on the battle, giving us a peak at Claire and Ally in the dollhouse maybe at the start to remind the reader of the stakes, and/or incorporating your epilogue (I haven't read it yet, obviously, so I don't know how well it would mesh with the Brooke/Jazmin fight).

All of that being said, I absolutely enjoyed the chapter as is, so don't take this as me trying to tear down what I think was a pretty well-written ending. I just wanted to throw that criticism out there in case you might find it useful when writing future stories.

Finally, if you don't mind me asking, is that next story that you're working on going to take place in the same universe as this one, or are we heading somewhere completely different next?

Author's Response:

Oops! The regrowth was supposed to be mentioned around the time I brought up Dr. Perkins as a rumor... I must have deleted that note from when I was writing that chapter. :( Maybe I'll go back and edit that chapter to add a comment about it in. Thank you for noticing that. It feels a bit dues ex machina as it is now, sorry.

I want to apologize for the lack of details around Jazmin's dollhouse. I had started this story as a way to learn what I did and didn't like writing about. Jazmin's Dollhouse was going to be a chapter that explored some of the crueler themes, but I just couldn't do it. I really didn't like anything I wrote. I tried to pivot to something else, but my brain just wouldn't let it go. I really like your take on what could've happened there, though!

In regards to my next story... I've got a few in mind. I think I'm going to take a short break from longer, complex stories and try to churn out a couple short stories. My next big project (the one I've been outlining off an on for the last few months while writing this one) will be my take on a "shrinking virus" story. I will probably revisit this world sometime in the future, though.

Anyways, I've put up the final epilogue. It's short, but hopefully closes up a few loose ends. (Other than Jazmin's Dollhouse, sorry!)

Reviewer: bobbylaws1 Signed [Report This]
Date: October 14 2023 1:11 PM Title: The Escape

Now that we know the collars can grow people into giants, I hope they regrow Jazmin and she accidentally becomes a real 1000 ft giantess and makes them.all her toys. Would be a great alternative ending!

Author's Response:

I'm sorry to disappoint, but not this time. Perhaps later if/when I revisit the series! (I definitely want to touch on the accidental discovery of growth devices!) I hope you still enjoyed the story despite this!

Reviewer: It Was Me Signed [Report This]
Date: September 10 2023 10:52 PM Title: The Rescue

This story has had it's shares of emotional highs and lows, but these last two chapters took it to another level!

While the last chapter provided some great tension at times, it certainly ended leaving the reader feeling as though our heroes were in a good place and everything was going to be alright now that they were all together. That feel-good feeling carried over into the start of this chapter, which made hitting (what I think) is the "all is lost moment" all the more surprising and impactful. I've absolutely loved the pacing and structure of this story throughout, but that's particularly true with these last two offerings. Nicely done!

I read MicroThaumaturge's review below, and I have to kind of agree with him regarding his critique of the rescue plan. However, I do think that it had to be tough to come up with a good scenario to get these characters in the positions you needed them to be in. In particular, I think Katie probably made things harder, as her not actually being affiliated with the company would make it almost impossible to have Justin and company know whether she would be home at any given time, and mentioning a role for her in the company now would feel a bit lazy and contrived just to move the plot along. Therefore, I understand why you went the route that you did. It wouldn't be far-fetched to believe that employees might be aware that the boss takes his wife with him on business trips, especially if one of said employees is in charge of booking the boss's travel, as Alia is.

That being said, this is clearly a bad plan, and I agree with MT that our protagonists should be smart enough to realize that under normal circumstances. Still, I don't have a problem with them coming up with and trying a bad plan, I just think it needed to be sold to the reader better.

For example, having Claire start the chapter off being a little less cheerful (not too much, as that seems to be her natural state) and looking tired, along with Brooke, while keeping her feisty nature and happiness to see Justin in general in tact, showing some signs of stress, would hint that they were in the state of mind to not really think things through. Maybe as they're planning their next move, Brooke and Claire can't agree on where to go first, with each one arguing, almost pleading with each other to start with a particular place. Claire, feeling unfounded guilt at "letting" Jazmin kidnap so many residents that she thought were being regrown, admits to having nightmares about her failure to save them and absolutely has to go after them. Brooke counters by giving some variation of "But you didn't hear her voice" when talking about Rae, the revelation of just how far Jazmin went with the residents, with Justin, making her imagination run wild with the possibilities of just what they Taylors are doing to her dear friend. Eventually, they come to an understanding and decide that the only way to ease both of them is to split up, and Justin, still not sure about the idea, gives in after seeing their respectively disrupted emotional states.

That might be a bit of a cliched scenario, granted, but I feel like it would have made the fact that they were going with such a flawed plan make a lot more sense.

As it stands, I found myself wondering why they didn't just wait until confirming the Taylors were on the plane (maybe wait an hour or two after their departure time before going over) and just rescuing Rae together. That would have almost been too easy, and even though they didn't know about the remote for Rae's collar, they surely would have figured that Rae could at least restore herself back to normal size, if not Justin as well. That would give them a three or four to one advantage over Jazmin, so at that point it wouldn't matter if she was home or not. Just have Claire knock on Jazmin's door pretending to apologize and beg to be left along, the rush her as soon as she opened the door. Two of them hold her down while the other(s) save the tinies from the doll house. With the hostages free, our heroes would then be free to use the recording and Rae's testimony to put the Taylor family behind bars and let Rae assume full control of the company, and everyone lives happily ever after.

Of course, that would also be really boring and the way the story's going is obviously much better, but I struggled a bit to understand why three level-headed individuals, two of them geniuses, never considered the above scenario. Again, though, it would have been a lot easier to buy their actions had their mental and emotional states regarding what's clearly a high-stress situation been demonstrated a bit more at the start of the chapter, even despite the fact that I think the happier beginning set up the cruel end of the chapter really well (finding a balance like that is really hard).

But overall regarding the plan, I think this was more a case of the natural course of the story putting you in a tough spot as a writer than anything else. And yeah, it was a bit messy, so to speak, but you got through it, and the rest of the chapter was really, really good. So I guess I'm saying don't sweat it too much and just chalk this up as a learning experience, if anything at all.

There was a small, but much appreciated pay off for me at the start of the chapter. The fact that Claire already talks to Justin like he's a friend was pretty rewarding for me. Claire's a naturally friendly character, but she's only met Justin one other time, and that was briefly during his shrinking process. Also, throughout the story, Claire has been a bit intimidated by people Justin's size, not out of fear of hurting them or disgust, but just the awkwardness of interacting with them. Even holding them was a problem for her, as she felt bad that her breath blew the one Micropolis-sized resident she held in her palm before. So it says something to me that Claire is naturally comfortable enough around tiny Justin that her naturally bubbly personality shines when interacting with him. This could be because she can actually communicate with him, the relatability of their respective situations, or even just that it's hard to feel awkward around someone anymore after you step on them. It could be a little bit of all of those, or even just the assertive way that Justin talks to them despite his size. I don't know, but I was feeling pretty good reading the first part of the chapter because of it.

I do have to respectfully disagree with MT about Brooke's reaction to the Taylors returning home. I think I've said before that I picked up a vibe that Brooke doesn't deal with extreme stress very well, so it made sense to me that she wouldn't think to use her phone or even do something bold like put Rae back and wait out the Taylors in hiding or something. The fact that Brooke was so scared that Rae had to hide herself because Brooke couldn't even think to follow her instructions felt right to me.

I'm really curious to see how Brooke handles her torture (assuming Rae and Justin don't figure something out before she said torture starts). Again, she doesn't deal with high-pressure situations well, but she's also really compassionate and loyal, and I think that will override her fear enough to hold out for help. That would be a different kind of bravery.

I was caught by surprise that both Brooke and Claire shrank, as I thought only one of them would be going down, leaving the other one to use her size to help save the day. I like this development, though. Now the ball solely in Justin and Rae's court, and I love that the two tinies are going to have to try to save the day on their own. And Rae has quickly become one of my favorite characters as well. With everything she's been through, she still comes off as calm, cool, and resourceful, showing that same mental resiliency that Justin has. They should be a good combination, size notwithstanding.

And it was great to see Justin come through in the clutch as well. That knife came in handy after all. It's good to seen him prove useful despite his size.

And that whole scene at Jazmin's place was heartbreaking. Seeing Claire shrink and the happenings in the doll house really made that "all is lost" feeling hit home, maybe even more than Brooke being captured. Of course, it's pretty obvious that Jazmin was expecting Claire to do something like that and was ready for her (I mean, what's the company going to do if she doesn't show up for her shift, fire her?).

But that realization made me see Lana's tormenting of Ally, Tim, and Claire in a different light. After Lana mentioned that Jazmin did the same thing to Lana and her boyfriend, I realized that Claire hadn't actually been physically tormented at all. She was forced to abuse Ally (or used to abuse Ally, as she didn't really have any control over it). And then Claire was forced to order Ally to "retrieve" Tim. All of this, as well as the fact that Jazmin didn't make good on her threat to shrink Claire so tiny that her toys wouldn't be able to see her (which I think would have happened had Jazmin gotten the collar on her then), makes me think that Jazmin is using Lana to make into another Lana. I think if Claire had been shrunk by a less hostile Jazmin, our attractive villainess would have likely let Claire be herself or possibly tried to corrupt her into being less kind to the other tinies, but her betrayal (from what we know of Lana, it seems like Jazmin felt betrayed by her as well) has led Jazmin to want to break her mentally instead of physically. There's something intriguing about the idea of someone punishing a perceived traitor by conditioning them into complete and total loyalty, like Lana.

Or I could be wrong about all that and Lana was just having fun. Who knows?

Anyway, thanks for another great chapter! I've been into this story for a while, but my anticipation for seeing what happens next grows with each addition since things started to ramp up about five or six chapters ago!

Author's Response:

Thank you! I'm glad you're still enjoying the story.

In regards to the plan, you and MicroThaumaturge are correct. It was weak, and my decision it would be 'good enough' was a mistake. That being said, I really like your idea where Claire and Brooke argue about which was more important to save--that would've added even more good drama to the chapter.

I was so locked in to the Taylor's getting on a plane for a plot point later. In hindsight I should've let this go and done something different. With Alia playing the part of Receptionist/Executive Assistant she could've easily been involved with any aspect of the Taylor's lives and therefore knew what they were doing no matter what it was.

I digress, it's something I can learn from and makes me a better writer.

In regards to the Justin/Claire meet. Claire's the type that can befriend anyone, but as a flaw she also wants to be liked by everyone. Her hesitation with the residents comes from not being able to communicate and get that positive feedback from them. Therefore, her comfortability with Justin 100% comes from being able to talk to him.

Lana has definitely heard of Claire before this. Jazmin would've mentioned her or talked about her at length to her toys. As a result, I think Lana felt a certain amount of kinship with her since they were both former best friends of Jazmin. At least, that's why I imagined her going easy on her.

I've got one chapter left in my outline. (Admittedly there's a lot to cover so it may turn into 2 chapters or 1 chapter + an epilogue...) I hope I can give this story a proper ending that doesn't disappoint!

Reviewer: barabba9000 Signed [Report This]
Date: September 09 2023 7:57 AM Title: Shrinking into a New Job

I am thinking about some scenarios for the part 2 of this story, if it's going to happen-involving a 1:2000 scale city. Maybe in the last chapter, they are finally able to shrink at that size, and the city is exposed for anyone who wanna see it-girls from college, her former colleagues, all looking at the city through an endless magnyfing glass. This could be the perfect closure of the story, but more a spinoff than an entire story, to be honest. At the moment still can't understand where this is going, though. 

Author's Response:

I have some ideas scribbled down for a one shot involving a 1:2000 scale city, but I haven't done much more than that with it yet.

It was a detail really included as part of the world building and to let the reader's mind imagine what was possible with this tech.

Reviewer: It Was Me Signed [Report This]
Date: September 05 2023 5:09 AM Title: Converging Paths; Jazmin's Conquest

I've been waiting for our heroes to come together and share their respective pieces of the puzzle for a few chapters now, and it didn't disappoint when they finally did. Seeing each one's reactions as they learned of what they others had gone through was satisfying, and I'm glad everyone is finally on the same page. The tension and action at Claire's misunderstanding was unexpected but welcome.

Justin's mental resiliency continues to be impressive. I like how he keeps a cool head when there's something to focus on. He had two near-death experiences in this chapter but kept on point throughout. Also, he was able to push past his feeling of inadequacy at being unable to comfort Brooke and Claire by focusing on planning their next move. That's a stark contrast to when he dwelled on how pathetic it was that he couldn't use Natasha's soap dispenser on his own, when he only had his own sorrow to keep him company. It's that engineer's mindset: Give them a task and that's where all their attention goes.

I also liked that Justin was the voice of reason here, shooting down Claire's short-sighted idea about going to the police with the recording. It makes his value to the trio a bit more evident. While he's able to keep a clear head, Claire's panicking and Brooke is struggling to keep track of everything (her boyfriend in particular).

That leads me to my one minor criticism for this chapter. I think Brooke forgetting that Justin was on the table when trying to console Claire makes perfect sense. He's hard to see and hear, and seeing Claire so paranoid would obviously be her focus in that moment. But I would have liked to have seen some brief recognition of how careless she was when she told Claire to put her feet up, maybe something as simple as going wide-eyed and saying "Oh shit" when Claire called attention to the resident on the table. This could have also been misinterpreted by Claire as Brooke being scared that she got caught stealing residents, adding even more motivation to her attacking her host. This isn't a huge thing, but I think Brooke having a moment of recognition for accidentally almost getting her boyfriend killed would have been a bit more in-character.

Now to follow that criticism with a bit of praise. You're doing an amazing job of playing with the range of Justin's headset. It was a good decision to keep the range relatively short (well, not short to Justin). It's fun to see that ranged play a part in the story, with Brooke and Claire not being able to hear him at times. That's also a minor thing, but such attention to detail is really, really appreciated.

I love seeing Claire take up that one-woman battle to see her co-workers recognize residents as people. She's so passionate about it, and I was surprised to see that even Alia seems to disagree with her. It's amazing how Claire can be so resolute about it, even though everyone else in the company seems to view the tinies as bugs or toys. Hell, even Brooke's initial reaction when Justin asked if she was a resident was "Ew." Yeah, she got over that feeling and probably didn't hold anything against residents before, but somewhere deep down she saw being that tiny as something gross at first, even if she didn't realize it at the time.

So it's pretty admirable that Claire can continue to see residents too small to really see very well or talk to as the people they are. She's been that way throughout the story, but this chapter illustrated it better than any of the previous ones. It makes her that much more likable.

Going back to Alia, I don't know if I would even label it as a missed opportunity, but after seeing her reaction to restocking Micropolis, I found myself wishing her trip to the city was detailed in this chapter. I can see why it wasn't, as I don't think that would have added anything plot wise, but from a fetish standpoint, it would have been awesome to see her try to deal with being around the "bug people" of the city.

Also, I really like how you're creating a shade of gray for minor characters like Alia and Alexis. For Alia, she seemed so nice in the early chapters, and she's a support of Rae instead of Hank, but her negative view of the citizens makes her come off as maybe not quite so nice after all. And Alexis seemed pure evil when talking to Justin, and her involvement in shrinking Natasha seems to confirm that that's the case. However, seeing her seem kind of sweet when interacting with Rae and Hank last chapter and Claire's shock at the HR rep's involvement in this whole ordeal makes me wonder if she's really all bad. Maybe she's going along with things because she's afraid that she'll be shrunk otherwise, or perhaps she's just really good at hiding her evil side when she needs to.

In any case, I like that even these two aren't just black and white characters. It shows a real attention to detail to make minor characters a bit complex.

Like I do in every review for this story, I've have to do a deep dive into Jazmin. First, I love how righteous she comes off when she confronts Claire. She has zero understand of how her threats put Claire in a position to feel desperate enough to record her fucking with the city or even that her fucking with the city is wrong. No, Claire betrayed her, made her feel like she wanted to be friends before turning on her, and that's all she cares about. And the way she talks about how Claire was going to be her "new had toy" (sorry Lana), like it was an honor she was going to bestow upon Claire and that now she was losing that honor as punishment, it really shows both how highly she thinks about herself and how much she cared about Claire, in her own super fucked up way.

Jazmin's hurt is palpable here, and that added a real intensity to the scene, even beyond my concern for Claire. Exceptionally done!

And then there's that last scene with Jazmin and poor, poor Tim. Seeing Tim's fate play out made me think back to Ally. With Claire, Jazmin shrank him to almost nothing on a whim just because he wouldn't eat her out, then gave her to her "toys," making him a "plaything for my toys." I don't think he can be smaller than Ally's size, and Ally is actually more of a stranger to Jazmin than Tim is, so why did Jazmin tell Lana to keep her safe? Why does she even care? It's not like Justin has something to exchange for her, and even if Justin were hiding somewhere, Jazmin could make sure he doesn't do so again in a number of ways that don't involve giving Ally back to him. So, again, I'm left asking why Jazmin wants Ally kept safe when it's clear that she doesn't give a fuck about strangers.

The answer I came up with is that Ally is tied to Justin in Jazmin's mind, and Jazmin feels a strange bond with Justin. When she kidnapped Ally, there was an implied promise that Ally would be returned if Justin is there next time (the opposite of Ally "getting it" if he isn't), so just adding Ally to her collection or letting her toys have her way with the Micropolis redhead would be like going back on her word to him.

I don't know if Jazmin has become endeared to Justin through her daily taunting or she felt that she was different when he was able to get her going a bit when working on her clit or maybe there's just a little bit of respect somewhere in that black heart of hers for Justin trying to stand against her by reporting her to HR, but I'm really starting to think that her obsession with bullying him is tied to some weird sense of connection she has with him (again, in her own fucked up way).

It may even be that, out of all the people in her life, Justin is the only one who has seen her as she truly is (technically, all of Micropolis has, but Justin is the only resident there that she actually knows). Yeah, Claire has seen her being a brat and teasing residents, and she seemed to hope that Brooke would come to her side after meeting Justin in person and (she assumed) being disappointed by the reality of their size difference, but Justin is the only person (that she acknowledges) that has seen her cut loose and be her true, evil self. I mean, her toys have clearly seen that side as well, but I'm guessing that once you're one of her toys, you no longer count in Jazmin's mind.

I still don't know quite what it is, but the dynamic between Jazmin and Justin in a uniquely tricky one, at least on Jazmin's end.

Anyway, this was another great chapter. Keep up the good work!

Author's Response:

Thanks again for your in-depth review! I'm still working on improving my writing, so these reviews help me build my skill and get better.

But I would have liked to have seen some brief recognition of how careless she was when she told Claire to put her feet up, maybe something as simple as going wide-eyed and saying "Oh shit" when Claire called attention to the resident on the table.

That's a really good point. I had initially just chalked it up to her not realizing he was in danger at the time. Truly though, it is more her character to recognize it in the moment as you described.

Going back to Alia, I don't know if I would even label it as a missed opportunity, but after seeing her reaction to restocking Micropolis, I found myself wishing her trip to the city was detailed in this chapter.

I had the outline to this scene written out, but it got cut because I couldn't find a place for it. :( I might revisit this in a one-shot offshoot.

I still don't know quite what it is, but the dynamic between Jazmin and Justin in a uniquely tricky one, at least on Jazmin's end.

I really like your take on their relationship. I think you make some excellent points here.

I like to think of Justin as 'forbidden fruit' for Jazmin. She's overheard her father talk about the new Microengineer and how important he was to the company's success. This made Justin basically 'untouchable', which didn't sit well with Jazmin who is used to getting what she wants.

Thanks again for your kind words!

Reviewer: bobbylaws1 Signed [Report This]
Date: September 01 2023 2:51 PM Title: Converging Paths; Jazmin's Conquest

I love that Jazmin is shrinking people against their will now! I hope she shrinks a whole city so small it becomes her foot toy and we all get the view from the streets! I also really hope that regrowth machine that Jazmin operates can make a regular sized person gigantic and she grows giant to find Brooke and Claire. Great work!!

Author's Response:

Given enough time and shrinking devices... I have no doubt that's the path she's going down.

Unfortunately the regrowth machine simply undoes the shrinkage.Dr. Perkins, though, has some ideas on how to make a proper growth process.

A giant Jazmin unleashed upon the normal-sized world would be truly terrifying!

Reviewer: ThaPhoenix Signed [Report This]
Date: August 31 2023 6:19 PM Title: Shrinking into a New Job

I REALLY love where this is going. LOVE the idea of a tinier micro level. I know you said in the past you don’t like drawing out the shrinking but you do such an amazing job at it. I see it’s instantaneous I hope we get some Justin interacting at different sizes on his way down to absolutely nano :P

Author's Response: I actually had never tried to write anything that centered around slow shrinking... So the early chapters of this story were really me experimenting with it. I actually really enjoyed recalculating the relative sizes of household items while doing it. I think I'll try my hand a proper slowly shrinking story sometime in the near future.

Reviewer: It Was Me Signed [Report This]
Date: August 15 2023 11:52 PM Title: What Happened to Dr. Perkins?

Man, after seeing Jazmin's parents in action, maybe she's not so bad!

Hank kidnapping Rae and turn her into a sex toy with his wife was pretty enlightening in a lot of ways. Hank (and Katie, from what little we see of her this chapter) share that trait I linked to Jazmin earlier in the story: They see everyone that's not them as beneath them. Unlike Jazmin, though, her parents don't seem to share that same sense of loneliness or need for companionship that she has (maybe because they have each other or maybe because they're psychopaths). That makes them a lot more evil and a lot more dangerous.

I mean, look at how Hank went about shrinking Rae. Their discussion didn't seem particularly tense or heated. They had a couple of simple disagreements about the future of the company that annoyed him, so he shrank and kidnapped her on a whim. After that, his former partner became a literal sex toy, only being taken out when it's time for her to be used. That's so much more evil than if he had hated her and shrunk her out of revenge or planned it well in advance. He just cared so little about her that it wasn't a big deal to him to turn not only a person, but THE person who is most responsible for making him money, basically into an object for his pleasure. That's scary as fuck!

I found myself comparing him with Jazmin. Say what you want about her, while she's reckless and enjoys fucking with residents, she still treats them a lot better than her father does Rae. Even the ones she kidnaps get a house to stay in (although maybe I should wait to see more of that arrangement before I draw too many conclusions from that). And even though there's apparently some kind of tier system (those under a certain height have to refer to her as Goddess?), it seems as though she treats at least some of them well relative to their situation.

Following that thought, Lana clearly has Stockholm Syndrome, and that's usually not something that affects people who are tortured or grossly mistreated by their captors. The fact that she had a previous relationship with Jazmin probably helped her higher status in the dollhouse as well. If I had to guess, Lana and Jazmin were pretty tight, and Lana got shrunk when she started drifting away or getting turned off by Jazmin's personality. My first thought is that she wasn't shrunk for revenge of some kind, but rather as a way for Jazmin to hold onto her. I really think Jazmin just needs a friend, but doesn't have the first clue what that actually entails. Again, given who her parents are, it's easy to see why that's the case.

And that need for friendship or companionship or whatever is part of the reason why she's so mad about Justin not being around during her latest visit to the city. I think she has a sense of attachment to both Brooke and Justin. In Brooke, she sees someone who will come to the same conclusion as her about tinies once she "realizes" that Justin isn't worth the trouble, thus giving her someone she can share her darker desires and actions with. In Justin, I'm not sure exactly how she feels about him, but she definitely views him differently than the rest of the residents. She was pretty upset that he wasn't around when she wanted to give him a hard time. Again, in her own way, I think she's showing him almost a weird kind of affection by picking on him so much, unwelcome though it may be. When he wasn't there to taunt, she got upset.

But even after she kidnapped Ally, her threat that she's going to "get it" if Justin isn't around next time, she says it with a pout, which is more petulant than threatening. Then, after they get to her apartment, Jazmin makes sure to note that Ally is a hostage instead of a toy and that she needs to be kept safe. Jazmin likes to play with tinies and she might not be super concerned with their comfort or safety, but she's not necessarily looking to intentionally hurt them either. It could also be that Jazmin wants Ally protected because she's part of her game with Justin too, I suppose. I'm not sure, but I thought that was an interesting development as well.

We didn't get much of our heroes this chapter, but from what we got, I think I have an idea of where things are going.

I like that Brooke is leaning on Justin in her time of need, just like Natasha could still be her laid back self while tiny because she's sure Justin will figure a way out of all this. And just like with Natasha, Justin can't understand why Brooke feels like he can do anything at his current size. But that's the thing, Natasha, Brooke, and even Ally are confident in him because they know he's a smart, gutsy dude (especially Brooke on that second one) and they know that he's capable of almost anything. Much like the villains of this story, however, Justin discounts himself because of his size. Once Justin sees what the women in his life see in him, I feel like he's going to prove them right by overcoming his self-doubt and ultimately come up with a crazy plan to save the day, even at 9 millimeters tall. I like the theme of a tiny using his brain or other assets to overcome a size disadvantage, and I feel like we may be building to that here.

I know predicting that the main character will save the day isn't normally a bold prediction, but on this site it certainly can be, especially if said main character is significantly shorter than average.

Natasha being so upset about Ally being taken was also pretty powerful. Having been so laid back so far, this change not only shows how much she cares about Ally, but also helps convey to the reader how serious the situation is. This is a really good use of her character here.

And finally, going back to that first discussion between Rae and Hank, I thought their views on the business represented a pretty interesting debate on capitalism (don't worry, this isn't going to get too political). Hank kind of represents the kind of person most critics of capitalism believe to be prevalent in such a system. He views his customers only as a revenue stream and is therefore willing to do just about anything to control them and keep that stream flowing. Rae, kind of representing what supporters of capitalism feel is the more common type of entrepreneur, takes a more Hyekian approach, viewing the human condition itself as their revenue stream, meaning that she believes that making a better, more attractive product will bring in more customers and therefore more money.

I think Rae has the right idea here. Instant size-changing would probably remove some hesitation by some potential residents who don't want to spend that week re-growing. Conveniences like that are sure to bring in more business. Hank is too worried about losing what he already has and the government subsidies that come with them that he can't see the bigger picture here. Ironically, while his plan to "maximize profits" has lead to him having more power in the short-term and ensured that his business model stays intact, he's likely leaving a LOT of money on the table. It may feel like he's won, but really, he's lost before he's even begun.

I think that theme of unwitting self-defeat is likely to carry over into our plot as well. He thinks that having Justin stuck as a resident makes him easier to control, but if Justin ends up being the one to bring him down, it'll be ironic since Justin probably wouldn't have been involved with any of this if he had been given the same arrangement as Brooke.

So, in other words, Hank's need to micromanage is costing him more than her realizes and will probably be his downfall.

Alright, that's enough out of me. I'm excited to see where this story goes next, and I hope Brooke doesn't get caught up in Jazmin's search for the camera planter next chapter!

Author's Response:

As always, I appreciate your detailed reviews!

Admittedly, I didn't spend nearly as much time revising this chapter as I typically do. As a result I think I may have rushed parts about Hank's and Rae's working relationship. There's a few details that I couldn't find a good place to squeeze into the story, so I figure I'll share them here:

Hank and Rae attended the same university. He was going for his MBA while she went about her Doctorates. Their friend groups were adjacent, so they knew of each other but only really hung out at big events.

Overall Hank was a below average student that barely managed to get his degree. Meanwhile Rae's scientific breakthroughs made him increasingly jealous.

Finally, when Rae started to look for a partner--one who understood business--Hank's name came up. Rae had her reservations, but figured it was better than partnering with a stranger.

The conflict in the story was meant to represent one of many such conflicts in philosophy. Alas, I don't think I did a great job of conveying that. (Regardless, you're absolutely right. Hank is still a psychopath for what he did, though!)

Reviewer: microtinyjim Signed [Report This]
Date: July 14 2023 5:12 AM Title: Shrinking into a New Job

I love this story! Any idea when the next chapter will come?

Author's Response:

Sorry for the delay! I took a short hiatus to focus on other things. I am posting the next chapter tonight.