Reviewer: It Was Me Signed [Report This]
Date: November 13 2023 4:19 AM Title: Epilogue

How many people are going to be involved indeed? I could see Rae showing up out of nowhere (I feel like she has a sixth sense that homes in on these kinds of things), and Claire might still be around (we haven't really seen her getting into mixed-sized sexcapades just yet, but she seems like she has an open mind, right?).

As far as epilogues go, I thought this was pretty good. We got a solid look at the aftermath of everything, but things are still sort of open at the same time. I like that we don't get definitive answers about whether Justin will take the new position, whether Micro Cities Inc. can survive the scandal, or what happens to Jazmin and company longterm. If you do decide to revisit this world someday, it'll be nice to see how some of these things shaped up and how the characters involved managed things, whether it be another story focusing on them or a story centered around different characters that gives us a glance at things.

In other words, this ending was satisfying but keeps us curious enough about the world to draw us into another story set within it, if you ever decide to go that route. Nicely done!

I also want to point out how well you set up Rae and her handling of Hank, Katie, and (presumably) Jazmin here. When she was first mentioned early in the story, I certainly didn't think of her as someone capable of holding people hostage with her ass. However, once she met up with Justin, we saw a more sexual side to her, and maybe even just a slight bit of enjoyment at having control of him, which makes her doing what she did to our antagonists that much more believable. I think this made her taking them for herself make more sense, as there's more to her choice than just revenge (although that is also a factor, clearly).

I will say that this poses an interesting problem, however. While Justin plans to say something if things go "too far," what exactly is he going to do? Rae can't change them back, let alone turn them into the police now. The fact that she took them alone is a crime, not to mention where she put them. And even if there were some legal loophole that Rae could exploit, the PR damage to the company once the story gets out (and it would get out if they were returned to normal size) would be devastating, especially given the PR nightmare the company is already going through.

No, unless Justin wants to bury Rae in the Micro Cities Inc., he won't be able to do anything (I guess maybe he could lobby for better treatment for the tiny family, but how hard is he really prepared to fight for THAT family?). Of course, I'm probably overthinking what was intended to be a simply "just desserts" ending for our villains, but I couldn't help but play that out in my head a bit as I was reading it.

One minor criticism for this final chapter, though. I would have liked to have gotten an update about the fates of people like Alexis, Lana, and Tim (and however many other captives were in that dollhouse). Maybe even just a couple of sentences in passing between Rae and Justin would have been nice. Again, this wasn't a huge thing, but it would have been cool to have heard Alexis's excuse as she was (likely) hauled off to jail or just how Jazmin's  "houseguests" were dealing with being normal sized and free.

And I'll wrap up with a small criticism about the story overall, now that it's finished. There were a couple of developments in this story that never really, well, developed, namely the 1:2000 scale city and Jazmin's dollhouse.

Honestly, I wasn't necessarily disappointed that we didn't get a better look inside the dollhouse (although I 'll admit that was kind of hyped about seeing Ally and Claire go through that together), and your reason for not including that in the story makes sense (if you're not into it, you're likely not going to do much with any idea you might come up with). I brought that up in my last review more because I just expected that this was coming, given how it had been portrayed up until that point in the story. Maybe it was just me, but I felt like this was set up to be something based on how often it was mentioned and how things were hinted at regarding Jazmin's treatment of her "houseguests" earlier in the story.

The same goes for the 1:2000 city. It was mentioned prominently early on, and I felt like it never lived up to that billing. It really felt as though it was going to play a major role in this story. To be fair, it kind of did, at least in an indirect sense, as work on it served as the catalyst for both Rae being shrunk and Justin being hired by Hank, but it really didn't play a direct role in the story at all (in fact, it wasn't even created yet).

Again, this didn't bother me in and of itself, as size interactions at that vast a scale would be severely limited (I mean, the same could be said of Micropolis residents, but you made that work quite well) and thus writing about it would come with some serious challenges. But again, it was just the feeling that it was set up to be something only to not be relevant in the grand scheme of things.

So I don't know exactly how to sum up that critique or what I would say to recommend avoiding doing this in the future, but I just wanted to point it out. Maybe you're just such an engaging writer that even your minor story developments feel like a big deal?

But overall, I obviously loved this story. It was easy to get into the characters, who were all interesting in unique ways, and the story was well paced and well told. I'm really looking forward to seeing what you do next!

Oh, and you mentioned focusing on shorter stories for a bit in your response to my last review. Is that one-shot about Alia filling in for Claire in Micropolis still on the table by chance? I'm not sure why, as Alia wasn't a major character in the story, but I find myself curious about what that particular restocking trip looked like.

Author's Response:

Thank you for sticking through the whole story and I'm glad you enjoyed the epilogue. My primary goal was to give some sense of what could happen in the future, while leaving it open for me to revisit and take the story whatever direction I'd like.

You're right--Justin doesn't have a lot of options against Rae which was why I thought it would be interesting. Perhaps he could try to blackmail her in the future... but how might Rae respond to betrayal?

Alexis, Lana, and Tim... oh yes. I wanted to include their fates in the conversation with Rae, but I felt I had Rae rambling too much as it was. Since you asked though, here's what I had in mind for all of them:

Alexis is fortunate that Rae hasn't found out about her part in all of this mess... yet. When Rae finds out... well she'll be in for some big trouble. There's a good chance Rae might shrink her and try to give her as a gift to Justin.

Lana along with most of the shrinkee's were freed returned to normal size--when possible. There were a few that had been shrunk with early prototypes and were irreversibly shrunk, they were given a place to live in the closest sized city. Those that returned to normal size started a support group and receive Micro Cities, inc.-funded therapy to help them deal with everything that happened.

Except Tim. He was still "training" with Lana when Brooke showed up to save them. Lana chose not to mention the tiny man and returned to normal size with the still shrunken man hidden. She managed to steal the remote paired to his collar and he now lives with her as her pet. Although she's much kinder and gentler than Jazmin ever was. In a way Jazmin has permanently corrupted Lana.

Jazmin's dollhouse was supposed to be something. :( I just didn't like the original ideas I had and hit major writers block on the chapter. But I was also really excited to get to the other chapters--as a result I cut the dollhouse chapter. Sorry again!

For context on the 1:2000 scale city, it was supposed to be mentioned in the same breath as the shrinking devices occasionally causing growth. It was a project that Hank started and was trying to push Rae into working on. Needless to say it didn't go far since he opted to kidnap the only scientist capable of improving the shrinking technology to make it work.

That being said, a 1:2000 scale city is definitely on the roadmap at Micro Cities, inc. With Rae back in the lab she'll probably be dividing her attention between the growth technology discovery and improving the shrinking tech. I also like the idea of Micro Cities licensing their tech--maybe as a way to survive the current PR nightmare. Giving the public access could open up a lot of possibilities as well. Perhaps a city in your spare bedroom? Maybe even a self-contained city with farmland and the like sitting on a dresser.

Anyways, I've appreciated your reviews as they help me learn what I need to work on. I appreciate the thought and effort that goes into these! As for Alia's substitute day... I didn't plan on it, but maybe I will. It'd be the perfect length to give me a break from all the planning that went into this one!