[Report This]Date: April 04 2014 12:28 PM Title: Chapter 14: Sides Meet
Just finished reading through chapters 1 through 14. Very nice story so far. Good detail. Easy for the reader to empathize with Peter. I'm a bit surprised by how cruel some of the students can be, perhaps that is just me misremembering high school. I do like Peter's sister though (Erica). You've done an excellent job of developing her character. Though clearly annoyed with her duties, she still cares for her brother on some level, beyond just the fear of her mother's wrath.
Author's Response:
Thanks very much for the read/review. I realize I'm embellishing the cruelty of certain characters, though I'd say it's not extreme; high school kids can be pretty devious. I'm glad you like Erica. I'm trying my best to represent the simultaneous antagonism and love of siblings.
[Report This]Date: December 15 2012 4:50 PM Title: Chapter 14: Sides Meet
Interesting chapter. Wonder if Lisa will be shunned from Sharon and her click the rest of the story... Or will they befriend her. Can't wait to see how his mom reacts to his first day.
aaron
ps not that Sharon plus two was being rude but it's probably hard to except a less popular girl into their group... Hope that they all become friends though. Anyways great chapter.
Author's Response:
thanks for the review! i can't comment upon where things will end up, but you can expect to see a few more clashes between Sharon and Lisa later on, and probably much less subtle
[Report This]Date: December 13 2012 11:24 PM Title: Chapter 14: Sides Meet
*tip toes back in*
Forgot to rate...
*tip toes back out*
Date: December 13 2012 11:07 PM Title: Chapter 14: Sides Meet
Very good job of giving the reader a feel for how his first day went for him, very real. I disagree with another review though, I don't think it's terribly important to have male students interact with him. I liken it to the superman phenomenon, nobody knows Clark Kent is Superman, you just except it!
Look forward to future installments.
Author's Response:
thanks for reading/reviewing. my goal is to hopefully create an environment where extended male student contact is unnecessary, so we'll have to see how it develops
[Report This]Date: December 13 2012 3:29 PM Title: Chapter 14: Sides Meet
Well, it could be worse! The students could have been playing Dodge Ball in groups of five. Of course, in Peter's case, he probably wouldn't have been able to do much more than look on in horror as the Terrible Trio made Lisa their target!
Author's Response:
yes, Peter's the type of person for which a game of dodgeball becomes akin to a game of chicken during an avalanche
[Report This]Date: December 13 2012 1:11 PM Title: Chapter 14: Sides Meet
I didn't expect u to do every school day that would be crazy lol. This story holds alot of promise but I would love to see how is new "friends" treat him?
Author's Response:
thanks for the review! and you are probably right to put quotations around the word friends
[Report This]Date: December 13 2012 12:54 PM Title: Chapter 14: Sides Meet
*reads more new Julia*
*replys to this well done chapter*
*goes to bed*
Date: December 13 2012 12:30 PM Title: Chapter 14: Sides Meet
I didn't think you'd go through the whole of more than one school day. Would be time extremely consuming. Hopefully if Peter has school friends over that will lessen his mother's concerns, then again it might have the opposite effect. I can certainly envision one of the people from school falling in love with him, or maybe it'll be lust rather than true love. More squabbles over Peter will ensue, I'm sure of it.