[Report This]Date: June 16 2014 10:09 AM Title: Chapter 19: Pick-up Lines
Glad to see there's still progress on this story! Your main characters and even your minor characters have very real and relatable personalities that make it easy to get emersed in Peter's story. I even had fun re-reading the chapters I had already gone through!
Great work!
Author's Response: Thanks for reading! Glad you're enjoying it. There will be more progress on it at some point.
Date: April 10 2014 3:22 PM Title: Chapter 19: Pick-up Lines
A nice chaper, but I did see a mistake here:
Amy, too. She mad about the whole thing and she kept saying “you and I”
You mean: She's mad
Author's Response:
Thanks, good catch.
[Report This]Date: April 10 2014 12:36 PM Title: Chapter 19: Pick-up Lines
Fuck that was adorable.
I don't really have much else to say. Just a really sweet hand-focused chapter. Enjoyed it immensely.
Author's Response:
Thanks man. Hand-focused chapters don't get their dues around here enough, so I do my best.
[Report This]Date: April 10 2014 12:29 PM Title: Chapter 19: Pick-up Lines
To paraphrase an old chant that was popular when I was in grammar school:
"Peter and Lisa, sitting in a tree.
K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
First, comes love.
Then, comes marriage.
Then, comes Peter (and son) in a baby carriage!"
Author's Response:
Well, I'm keeping silent on that first step, but I'm not sure that last part would go over so well, for anyone involved really.
[Report This]Date: April 10 2014 10:15 AM Title: Chapter 19: Pick-up Lines
Clever chapter title!
Lisa is a very sweet girl.
You described their interaction brilliantly.
Author's Response:
It was too good a pun to pass up. Thanks for reading!