[Report This]Date: March 19 2014 11:24 PM Title: Cold
Man, I just made a profile, to say that this story is making my soul feel pain.
I love the story this one originates from, I always cheer when I see an update to it. And when I saw this one too, and saw what it would be about, I cheered too.
But the way you write...so capable of making us feel all those emotions, you get us immersed into the story, feel the tragedy.
Excellent writing mate. As I said, it hurts my soul and I can't enjoy it in the same way as other stories here, but it's unique, and you have me captivated. Keep up the good work!
Kingsun
Author's Response:
Thank you, I am glad my words bring pain :D
In all seriousness, though, thank you for the kind words. I'm glad you've been enjoying my works. I hope they can continue to keep you captivated.
[Report This]Date: March 18 2014 3:42 AM Title: Cold
@Xkcd0088:Very well-spoken argument! I actually agree with most of it, except I’m not entirely sure about your interpretation of Marion. Here was the author’s response to me in a comment where I asked about her behavior:
“One of my favorite little quotes is that sometimes, an asshole is just an asshole. Sociopaths and serial killers are nothing new, and I feel like I'd be trying to needlessly "grey" Marion if I tried to make her look better against my concept for her.”
I’m not sure that I agree with the ‘asshole is an asshole’ quote. Sounds like perhaps you don't either.
However, I will say that the reason I read this series is because of lines like this one:
"He had been sitting on the the tip of Claire's nose for that one, a goofy grin on her face as her eyes crossed to keep an eye on her big brother."
That one line melted my heart. Vivid imagery. I cannot get the picture out of my head. It symbolizes something that can be difficult to express. So probably no matter how violent things get, I’ll keep reading the story because of that one line. I’ll probably keep reading all of Ackbar’s other stories (should he write something not in Omegas universe) because of that line.
[Report This]Date: March 17 2014 11:26 PM Title: Cold
@SpookyTaco (love your stories btw) The measure of a group in power isn't how they treat their favored class, but how they treat all of their subjects. Hussein was wonderfully beneficial to the Sunnites, who without him were being butchered by the Shiite. The Omegas have promise, but so does every tinpot dictator who pops their head up...right until they engender the next oppression scenario. A regime that helps the Betas at the cost of the Alphas isn't better on any utilitarian basis, it's just shuffling deck and handing out the same net amount of evil.
As it stands they seem to be taking the same tried and failed approach to crime as the United States currently does - put criminals through mental - and often physical - agony in the futile hope that it prevents recidivism (hint: it doesn't!). You can never hurt someone enough to cause a physical change in their negative third standard deviation brain (sociopaths, sadists, schizophrenics) without actually damaging their mind permanently, as was proven, oh, thirty years ago when electroconvulsive therapy was tossed out on its ass. Change needs to be internal, either via participant effort or chemical rebalance.
Come to think of it what we're looking at here is the same basic situation that fostered the practice of lobotomy: take a person who's completely under your control (institutionalized mental patient who is thought to be incurable crazy/Alpha who you think did wrong), put them in the hands of a 'proven expert' in the art of 'fixing' otherwise 'hopeless' cases who's given absolute authority without anyone there to stop them from abusing the system (Omegas/Nurse Ratchet), and then fucking hurt the subject until they comply with your preconceived notions of how they should exist in your world (entirely arbitrary torture sessions/removing entirely random chunks of brain).
You either wind up with a dead body (written off as your "freebie accidental" tortured-to-death Alpha case/a "hopeless" patient that would "just never have changed") or someone whose mind has been broken so badly that they're not even the same person anymore....congratulations, you've just created your own personal brain-damaged robot!
I've gotta say: anyone who thinks Marion (to say nothing of Ashley, who is completely without malice and committed the same amount of damage (bruising?really?) as some rough sex) - a child who obviously A) was raised her whole life to believe a certain class of people was not actually composed of people (i.e. her still-developing mind was trained to lack certain empathetic triggers and is thus in need of teaching/healing) and B) gets pleasure out of causing agony (i.e. HER MIND FUNCTIONALLY, LITERALLY LACKS EMPATHETIC TRIGGERS AND NEEDS TRAINING/MEDICATION/SOMETHING TO HELP HER) - deserves any of this madness may need to take a moment to put things in perspective. She's a little girl who's broken and lost, not Jim fucking Jones. On what planet does a regime take a child and actually attempt to cause irreversible psychological and/or physical damage to them for the sake of 'justice'? Oh right; Earth. Because doing things for the sake of' humanity' is just too naive to ever work.
I gotta say though this story is certainly stirring up a reaction in me, which definitely says something good about it - I'm hooked enough to want to see how (or even if!) all this gets resolved. A+
Author's Response:
This is gonna be another "as the author" type thing, but I'll say you aren't wrong in a lot of what you say. The US prison system actually utterly disgusts me, and I would by lying if I said it didn't serve as a basis for a lot of this. In my eyes, the only change I really made was in providing some desire for rehabilitation in the system compared to the strictly punitive philosophy our prisons work on. I'm glad the whole thing is invoking a certain reaction, because this world as presented is not meant to come off as some utopia by any means, nor the current way the Omegas handle things as ideal. In-universe, the current methods are basically out of date and could do with an overhaul. I've provided a couple of things in Consequences to kind of set that in motion. Because "right now" in Consequences, the Omegas are still very much viewing the whole matter as a war and their means reflect that. Their leaders are people who were granted their power at a time when someone like Marion could go up onto a stage, kill 12 betas in front of a crowded, normal audience, and literally nothing would happen to them nor would anyone expect it to. Things have changed since, but the Omegas kind of haven't, and that's an issue.
On Marion, I'm going to say something you're probably not gonna like but it's basically how I approach her: I legitimately view Marion as less of a character and more of a concept given a face and a name. She's an embodiment of all of that old cruelty and malice that believed the Betas were there to be subjugated, to be used and then thrown away. That's not to say she won't morph into a character, and if I can do that I have a much different ending on my mind for her than the one Claire proposed, but as it stand she's a basically an amalgam of all the concepts the Omegas have worked to squash, and she's that because of catharsis reasons.
To be even franker about that story (and believe me, I don't mean this to excuse any of the above within the universe), the concept of it originated from and still is a spin on more common story fare in this fetish. I thought it would be neat to introduce a world where the typical abusive behavior often directed at the smaller persons in a story earns the abuser a similar experience at the hands of someone even larger than them. Things have sort of snowballed from that original thought, but that concept does remain. As is, things are constructed so that I have a universe where I can be as dark as I want or as light as I want (and believe me (again), my personal preferences are much closer to the latter, I just like some domination at times). Things may get lighter in the universe as time passes, but the time period expressed between the two current stories gives me a place I can go to if I want the former.
Date: March 17 2014 10:14 PM Title: Cold
Xkcd0088 mentioned:
The day I see one of these 'giant dictatorship' situations turn out a better world for all involved is the day I find my new favorite author.
Honestly, I'd have to say that Omegas have made their world better so far. We saw how Betas were treated prior to Omega presence in the world. Are Omegas perfect? Not even close. But so far they've done nothing to harm a Beta, Claire even stopped herself from going to far to influence her brother.
Now I do agree with you that Omegas shouldn't just eat Alphas like they used to do, especially if they can read minds and potentially reform Alphas. I'm also a bit concerned about the evolving fire and whether it will make Omegas less benevolent. However so far, they've shown some promise of making the world better. I think that's one of the reasons you continue reading the story, the hope that the 'dictatorship' will work out in the end.
Date: March 17 2014 9:52 PM Title: Cold
Absolute power! Always makes things work out just fine.
The day I see one of these 'giant dictatorship' situations turn out a better world for all involved is the day I find my new favorite author. It's amazing how all the control in the world is forever tainted by our simple animal nature to fuck things up without thinking.
Date: March 17 2014 4:19 PM Title: Cold
Your writing is so... unique, and I freaking love it. Didn't notice this story before, but it will be high on my priority list to keep checking for updates!
Right on!
Author's Response:
Thank you for the kind words, I hope it continues to be enjoyable.
Date: March 17 2014 3:45 PM Title: Cold
@Kusanagi I hadn't considered from that angle. That would at least make some sense. I was assuming the guy was into her.
Though if we put it into real world equivalent: Ashley decides to be forward and jump a guy she likes for an intense make out session. She tries copying something she heard her sister's friend do, maybe injures the guy a bit in the process. Afterwards asks the guy if he liked it and gets a yes.
A complaint is filed, but because they're minors, charges aren't pressed. Still, if she had been an adult, she might be a registered sex offender now.
Her sister and her friends, maybe police academy cadets, decide to do a scared straight on Ashley so that doesn't happen. Their method, tell the mom and get her grounded? Take her through the center's education program to teach her what she did was wrong and what the consequences would be in a professional sitting? No, their solution is to assault her. The session begins with Melody giving her sister a gut punch. Basically for the next 30 minutes they're going to wail on her so she learns.
It's an abuse of power with the best intentions, and a violation of sisterly trust. ( I can see why Ackbar says no one comes out smelling like a rose in this, and why the relationship is changed.)
And for the record, I am actually open to liking Jenna. It's just so far we haven't seen anything but the ugly side of her.
Author's Response:
Just to explain the perspective I am coming at this scenario from, and the one being applied by the girls, they are essentially treating Ashley's treatment of the Beta as kidnapping and assault
Date: March 17 2014 9:20 AM Title: Cold
I’m only cutting the girls some slack because from what we learned in the main story they’re pretty much spoon fed the worst of beta treatment since childhood so any beta mistreatment is probably taken very seriously and they wouldn’t expect Melody’s sister of all people to treat a beta poorly. The other thing is we don’t know if that beta boy even agreed to be put in Ashley’s shoe, and even if he did she wasn’t being too careful with him if he ended up with bruises. She could have killed him by accident. So Ashely was stupid for doing what she did and shouldn’t have taken it lightly or try to deflect what she did by accusing Claire.
I can see how both parties screwed up but Melody should have handled this better.
And I have to be the only one that isn't so negative about Jenna. I'm not going to make presumptions of her character until I know more about her.
Author's Response:
Thank you for all of this.
Date: March 17 2014 9:13 AM Title: Cold
@Sketch: I actually doubt Jenna ever considered Ashley to be a friend. I think she only treated her like one because of her friendship with Melody. I could easily see Jenna putting on an act like that to keep that friendship with Melody and Claire, especially since she managed to hide her sadistic side so well in the past. Abigail was surprised when Kayla told her that Jenna is a sadist.
Author's Response:
All this Jenna hate before she even does anything ;_;
Date: March 17 2014 7:51 AM Title: Cold
Very well done so far, very well done indeed. I hope we get to see some of Claire and Melody's thoughts on punishing Ashley. I think I can already read Jenna's thoughts easily enough, and how that girl managed to befriend an Alpha is beyond me. To be honest, Claire and Jenna seem a bit too...gung ho about all of this. Melody is too, but those two seem particularly malicious, which was a bit unexpected with Claire. I fully expected Jenna to be Jenna, but this Claire seems a lot more cruel and merciless then the Claire dealing with the girls who hurt her brother. Perhaps this is what helped to make her more merciful? =o
I know it sounds bad, but personally I really hope they overdo the punishment and Ashley's relationship with all three of the girls is ruined, or at least irreversibly changed to something less then what it was. Maybe her never being able to fully trust her sister again, always treating her with a bit of fear and hesitance. Just enough that Melody and Claire would be able to notice. I don't want Ashly to hate them or anything, I just want her to serve as a stark reminder to Melody and Claire as to what happens when you decide to take things too far. I doubt it'll happen though.
Author's Response:
We likely won't really see their thoughts on this, at least not from their perspective (though maybe in a separate work, we'll see). I will tell everyone straight up that they would not be wrong to picture Claire holding Melody's hand during this upcoming chapter.
There will be a change in how Ashley views Melody, at the very least. I won't speak to the volume of it, but it will be there.
[Report This]Date: March 17 2014 1:31 AM Title: Cold
Did that boy agree or did he say "yes" AFTER she put Ashley put him in her shoe? Basically, did ashley ask him beforehand?
In my opinion, that makes all the difference in the world. Great update though, I can already tell this is gonna be painful to read.
Author's Response:
You've pretty much nailed the question that's at the heart of the matter. We'll have to find out.
[Report This]Date: March 16 2014 7:42 PM Title: Cold
Wow, intense. You do a really good job capturing Ashley's perspective and it's scary.
I wonder what she did that this is such a surprise. Unless it was really bad, I'm surprised that Melody would want to be a part of this; it seems like it is going to fuck up her relationship with her sister something fierce. I wonder if she's staying to keep Jenna in check.
[Report This]Date: March 16 2014 12:10 AM Title: Cold
Cool, a side story on the whole Ashley incident. The truth is coming out. It great how Ashley was acting all innocent.
[Report This]Date: March 15 2014 10:32 PM Title: Cold
Awesome, I appreciate you taking time to explore this backstory.
[Report This]Date: March 15 2014 10:06 PM Title: Cold
So looking back at the clues: The situation was awful for all involved. Melody doesn't regret it. She feels it kept her sister out of trouble. See couldn't even look at her sister during which she pleaded to talk. Absolute terror when handed over to Jenna. This is a 30min session in 10 min parts. They didn't want her with an Omega who didn't know her. What she did was have a beta boy in her shoe. It's not malicious that she's being so clueless. That it got reported is a major reason. My guess, that may be half right is that this may have been a boy she liked, not wanted to hurt, that it was kids being stupid, that the girls stumbled upon them, and that this is an overreaction due to cultural sensitivity.
My prediction: This is more about her getting caught then what she did. Probably this was indeed harmless fun, maybe something she did on a few occasions with willing betas. But maybe one time a newcomer had a bad experience or maybe an overprotective parent found out. Though right now the omegas mistakenly think it was a malicious act. It's getting her not to put her self in such a compromising position in the future that makes Melody feel it was worth it. She may not regret it, but the memory still pains her. I still think this puts a strain on their relationships. There would have to be a hell of a make-up session afterwards for there to believably not be any hurt feelings afterwards. At the very least I wouldn't be surprised if she and Jenna never went shopping again. (That little tidbit makes this story kind of tragic right at the start. Maybe more so than even the harsh treatment form her sister.)
Date: March 15 2014 8:25 PM Title: Cold
What if it really is a misunderstanding? I had not thought of that before. But I doubt it, it did not sound that way when Melody was telling Marion about but she could have been lying. That is a possibility but a misunderstanding and then punishing your own sister because of it would be too painful for Melody to talk about.
@sketch, I doubt it but Ashley's shock is probably because she didn't even know what she did was wrong.
Date: March 15 2014 8:02 PM Title: Cold
The fact that Ashley is totally blindsided by this makes me feel like this is a huge misunderstanding.
From the bits we saw in the main story it looks like they're just going to go through with the punishment without talking or explaining first. I can't see how Ashley can still have the same relationship with them afterwards. If I were her, instead of feeling like I had three sisters, I would consider after this that I had none as far as I was concerned. (To a degree this would be the case even if Ashley is genuinely guilty.)
No wonder Melody has totally written off enforcer work. I wonder how many other people know about this. Would Claire's co-workers honestly ask if Ashley would be Melody's maid of honor is they knew what went down?
Author's Response:
I'll say that you were half-right on an earlier guess you made about the cause of this whole thing, which is why Ashley was blindsided by this. One very important thing to note, however, is that this was caused by her actions being reported.
We'll have to see on everything else.
Date: March 15 2014 6:17 PM Title: Cold
you know, before I even started reading this i was happy. The existance of this story means the "consequence" universe will be more than that one story. Can we say expanded universe!
On the otherhand, its kind of sad. Like watching the movie Titanic, I already know how this story ends.
Well, at least it can answer a few questions. I did kind of wonder what the girl did that was so bad, especially considering the way she had no idea what they were talking about at first (though she could have been faking). I hope it was serious enough to warrent the torment shes about to get. Though even that raises the question of why she thought bullying betas was a good idea while living with Omegas...
Anyway, keep up the good writing. Are you going to try to finish this story before going back to consequences or are you going to try and do both at the same time?
Author's Response:
We'll get details on what happened next chapter. There's a reason she's caught off guard by the whole thing, and those reasons might not be neccessarily malicious.
And yes, I plan on finishing this before heading back to Consequences. I need to recharge my batteries on that one for a little bit.
Date: March 15 2014 5:50 PM Title: Cold
I think this will b pretty painful to read. Still don't like Jenna and is this why Abby doesn't like Melody's mother?
Author's Response:
I can assure you it's no less painful to write :(
And no, this is unrelated to why Abby dislikes Grace.
[Report This]Date: March 15 2014 5:28 PM Title: Cold
You really have a way of showing personality complexity. Even though I know Ashley deserves what’s coming to her, I still feel bad for her — perhaps because the story is told from her perspective. I want them to forgive her even though I know we have to wait until she acknowledges her actions.
Author's Response:
She does have a small ordeal ahead of her, but hopefully things turn out well for her in the end. Thanks for reading!