[Report This]Date: December 23 2021 10:32 AM Title: Explanation
One of my most favorite stories on this site.
Date: March 18 2014 4:38 PM Title: Explanation
@Ackbar, I actually love reading your response to Xkcd0088's review. I'm glad to hear that you don't neccisarily agree with the words or actions of your characters.
I don't know if i make this clear, but I really do love your stories, despite my constant complaining about your characters. I think its a mark of a good author that I can hate some of your characters as people without thinking its because you did a poor job writing them.
Anouther mark of a good author is being able to write convincing characters and ideologies without revealing your own opinions, which it seems you've done. Its good to know that when I'm ripping on your characters motivations I'm not insulting you personally :)
Anyway, I thought it was interesting how you decribed Maron as a concept rather than a person. Personally I would like to believe all people have redeeming qualities and reasons for acting evil, but from a literary perspective I see what your doing.
But if Maron represents the old Alpha culture, would it be safe to say Jenna represents the old Omega culture, while Claire seems to be feeling out a new future culture? I remember thinking when Jenna was first introduced that she made some good points in her speech to Naomi about forgivness and punishment. But I also felt that the Omegas methods were really designed with bigots like Marion in mind, not Naomi and Stephanie who have different problems. I feel like Claire has already started to realise this and may start changing her methods. And maybe thats why Jenna was so quick to turn on Ashley in this story? Maybe in her mind, in line with the old Omega culture, your either a good person whos nice to betas or your mean to betas and therefore evil, with no in between?
Author's Response:
I'd say that's certainly a fair way of looking at it. Claire is important moving forward for a few reasons, the least of which is giving Kayla a good look at how to handle the evolving Fire and the conclusions she may draw from her observations. That's an astute observation on those methods, one Claire herself has noted an issue with, and on Jenna. Subconsciously, Jenna herself may even believe that Omegas like her are outdated.
That said, I wouldn't assume that Jenna has "turned" on Ashley, but I'm going to leave it at that.
[Report This]Date: March 17 2014 9:09 PM Title: Explanation
Okay, things are becoming clearer now. I can see a little more of the why for all parties involved. And I can understand why what they're doing might be for the best in the end. But I still don't see why they think it's a good idea for Melody to be part of this little arrangement. With that kind of size difference, a lot of trust is necessary for there to be a comfortable sibling relationship there. I even think think that watching Ashley's humiliation could do a lot of damage, much less participating in it.
But hey that's just my opinion. And good job by the way. :)
[Report This]Date: March 17 2014 5:54 PM Title: Explanation
I love the fact in this story(well story arc as it counts for the parent story as well) that you can still enjoy the fetishy aspects of it but still get your heart jerked with investment into the characters.
Again great stuff.
[Report This]Date: March 17 2014 2:59 PM Title: Explanation
I’m surprised so many people are siding with Ashley on this, I thought there was a very strong implication that she acted without the Beta’s consent. The entire time she describes the incident, it’s ‘I thought it would be fun for both of us’, ‘I knew he’d like it’, there’s no mention of his thoughts on it aside from a sputtering ‘yes’ after the fact.
Her whole rational behind his interest was pretty weak too. She admits she doesn’t know him that well, and they’ve only talked a few times, yet she takes him looking at her sandals a few times to mean ‘I want to be dropped into your shoe.’ I think Ashley may have been reading too much into those looks of his.
This view is hammered home when Ashley challenges Claire on it. What’s the difference between the two of them? Simple, Claire’s fun was consensual.
Ashley’s defense mirrors the old ‘it’s not my fault they wanted it’ which is a pretty dangerous mindset to have in the real world much less here given the size difference. Not sure if the girls are right or wrong about their methods (that will wait till next chapter) however I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt that they’re able to tell the difference between a real incident and an overprotective parent.
On a lighter note Claire’s a bit kinky isn’t she? Footplay, voreplay, and of course ‘sticking him in places.’ Wonder if she’s still with Sean and wonder if he’s an Alpha or Beta. Her mother probably wouldn’t approve of an Alpha, but not sure a Beta could do the things described no matter how gentle she is…then again I didn’t think they could have sex either so what do I know.
Author's Response:
You caught a lot of stuff, and that makes me happy.
And yes, I believe I said it in response to comments to "Work" over in Consequences, but Claire is fun.
Fun fact: Sean was originally going to be introduced in that chapter as Claire's assistant that she mentions. Buuuuut I looked over the sections with the expecting parents and Stephanie's mom and decided that a scene of Claire casually playing with and dominated an Alpha guy contrasted far too much with the mood of those to go through with it.
Date: March 17 2014 9:06 AM Title: Explanation
Holy fast Chapter update! I didn't expect anouther chapter for a week! Awesome!
Anyway, I'm going to echo a lot of other reviwers when I say, I hope this ruins the relationship between these girls for all time. I mean I get what Ashley did wrong. I imagine what Claire was giong to say was the difference was consent, which is important. But, i think Jenna is making several mistakes here.
1. It is not the place of the big sister and her friends to decide on a punishment for a little sister, no matter what she did. jenna should have left this to their parents.
2. It sounds like Ashley is a good girl who made an innocent mistake, not like the girls from consequences who knew what they did was wrong. Jenna barely even gave her a chance to defend herself and then didn't even tell her why she was being punished. Isn't that punishment 101, telling the accused what their accused of?
3. The omegas seem to be way overreacting. this problem probably could have been resolved with a stern talking too and maybe a grounding. instead they apply a procedure designed for criminals? And before you defend that this is what would have happened in two years, theres a reason kids arn't charged as adults. Because as in this case, sometimes they really don't understand what they are doing is wrong. the law itself deemed this type of punishment inappropriate for ashley, who are they to decide that it is?
4. Finally, it sounds like this is partly Claires fault. Clearly Ashley was copying her to get a boy she might have been crushing on. Someone should have spoken to her about consent before, now their blaming her for not knowing?
These are just a few reasons Ashley would be well within her rights to hate her sister and her friends for all time (especially Jenna who looks way too into this fore someone whoose supposed to be the girls friend). I hope you have an epilougue in this story so we can see what happened to their relasionship afterwords. And unless the Omega girls can muster some pretty convincing arguments, I would be dissapointed to find out Ashley forgave them for this.
P.S I just realized that we don't know alot about the laws the Omegas set down. I mean it didn't matter in the other story because almost beating a man to death is obviously a crime anywhere. But what law did Ashley break exactly? Is this assault?
Author's Response:
This is kind of another case where I won't neccessarily disagree as the author. The characters themselves obviously feel differently, but that also doesn't really sway shit either way. When it comes down to it we're talking about three 18 year old girls that are still in school themselves and aren't quite done growing up yet in a situation where emotions are running high, and it's easily possible that they made a bad decision in going through with this, or that they could have accomplished the same thing without resorting to the current plan. They can make good decisions and they can make bad ones, even when it comes to impressing upon Ashley the constructive lessons they feel she needs to learn.
Though I will say that #4 is being a bit personally unfair to Claire. She did note that she isn't the one that let her personal activities slip, and that she wasn't keen on them being known.
Date: March 17 2014 8:16 AM Title: Explanation
Please keep in mind, this criticism of your characters is such only because you've written a well enough story for me to care about them.
So I'm guessing a parent saw the bruise, it wasn't a big deal to him but he had to explain it, and that's why there's a report. This may torpedo this young relationship.
I'm sorry, but my opinion of these three girls has fallen, and only Melody has a chance to recover right now. She has no idea the dam of sibling resentment she's about to crack. A dam kept up for her sake. If her sister hates her, it will be for more reasons than she can comprehend. At least she's showing the right emotions as she goes through with it. This feels like a failure on the King family's part more than anything. She shouldn't have fill Ashley's head with the wrong ideas to begin with, and as a member of an Omega household, Ashley should have extensive training in Beta handling and etiquette as well.
Claire is the most disappointing. I know this is two years in the past, but she's treating someone who's supposed to be like family with greater scorne than she did Naomi after only a day. And if the reason I'll be given is Naomi was remorseful, then Claire has a rather shallow emotional attachment to family. (Especially since her brother is the victim.) I'm interested to hear what the difference with Sean is as well.
And then there's Jenna. You know, Jenna hasn't had a lot of positive character development. She's introduced as someone who can't be trusted to respect boundaries in dealing with people, an antagonist to Naomi, and finally it's confirmed she's a genuine sadist. Her back story with her one-armed beta friend reads more like revenge fuel for her attitudes now, and it doesn't wash with her desire to control the action of betas like Correy for their own good. Ashley's description of her past together is the first loving depiction we've seen of Jenna. And in one chapter she's thrown it away by her eagerness to get on with the punishment.
Author's Response:
It's fine, it's honestly interesting to hear and spurs me to get this thing done so people can get a good idea of what happened, etc. Though seeing everyone assume the worst of my girls is ;_;
We'll have to see how things transpired on that report.
I won't fully disagree on Melody, or with the assertion that they certainly could have drilled some things in better. They ultimately could have assumed that some things were common sense and should be taken as a given. There were expectations attached to her behavior/
And those expectations certainly play a factor with Claire. She expected better from Ashley, while she expected the worst from Naomi. It's also imperative to remember that the girls (though not Ashley, and certainly not the reader) have seen the submitted report, and may have access to more objective details than what Ashley feels is correct.
Jenna...well, we'll have to see. Half the point of this story for me is Jenna Development, and I'm looking forward to reactions to her part.
[Report This]Date: March 17 2014 7:08 AM Title: Explanation
So wait, what is the big difference with Claire’s actions? I assume Claire means that Sean was being disciplined? Or maybe that Claire has a greater sense of Sean’s discomfort and can avoid harming him? Or both? Another thing, if this is Ashley’s first offense, surely the girls can sense some of the regret in her voice? Obviously she broke the law but I hope Melody is around to keep an eye on Jenna — I could see how the latter girl might invoke a punishment that exceeds the crime.
Author's Response:
Ashley kind of sort of fucked herself over and said Nothing But the Wrong Things. We'll get the insight on Sean and what the difference between the two is soon enough.
Everyone pickin' on Jenna ;_;
[Report This]Date: March 17 2014 4:41 AM Title: Explanation
Wow Claire, Jenna, and Melody don’t look good in this chapter at all. They don’t even try to lecture Ashely first; it’s simply straight to punishment. Ashley probably didn’t mean to hurt the beta boy but either he was too scared to tell her to stop or he really did like it but a family or friend made him report her. I wouldn’t be surprised if Ashley does hate them after this. She seems to harbor some resentment over not being an Omega like her sister and probably wanted to experience that feeling with the beta boy.
Author's Response:
No one is ultimately meant to come out of this smelling like roses. There's a lot of emotion involved for all of them and that has its drawbacks when it comes to rational thought.
Date: March 17 2014 2:02 AM Title: Explanation
Damn, this is painful to read. You really have a knack for this. I wouldn't begrudge her if she hated the three girls. It really seems like a misunderstanding on her part.
Author's Response:
It's...
Well, it's a lot of shit, honestly.
Thank you for commenting.