[Report This]Date: April 04 2014 6:35 PM Title: Jenna - Part 3
Bravo on the entire Jenna, the fear she conveyed and the complete 180 that she took was just terrific.
Keep on doing what you're doing.
Author's Response:
Thanks for the review, glad you enjoyed it :)
I'll endeavor to stay the course!
[Report This]Date: April 04 2014 12:22 PM Title: Jenna - Part 3
Superb job here. The dynamics of your character conversations continue to impress. You've managed to strike a very intriguing balance throughout this story of giantesses who behave cruelly and assert their dominance, but all for a greater purpose of improving someone they care about. It's a story angle that has been done before, but I daresay this is my favorite rendition of it that I've seen. My only regret is that there wasn't more time spent with Melody tormenting her sister, as she seemed to be having the most difficult time of the three in doing her job, and the way you wrote those emotions was fascinating. Having said that, I really enjoyed the turn with Jenna's character at the end. It was an interesting resolution that made total sense and was a pleasant surprise. I'm intrigued by the mentioning of Ashley's mother seeing the report and am curious to see where you take things for the ending.
Author's Response:
Oh jeez, that is a high amount of praise. Thank you for reading this, and for the review.
I'll admit that I really would have preferred to get about another page's worth of material into Melody's chapter, but I basically hit my limit on that one. Claire and Jenna were remarkably easy in comparison: They're talkers, and they engaged Ashley as well as recognized her. Melody's chapter, on the other hand, basically turned into a frightened, humiliated girl begging for recognition from a god who refuses to grant it for the first time in her life. Just typing that out reinforces my desire to have done more with it while reminding me why I couldn't get further than I did.
[Report This]Date: April 04 2014 9:05 AM Title: Jenna - Part 3
Eh, I like this chapter. And I like that the ordeal is finally over for the most.
I won't push it with an analysis this time. I just want to echo the last posts by pkong and Spooky.
Two questions though: What's going to happen when the mom gets home? And all other things being the same, would Jenna still feel like she does had the Beta died? (Kind of want to see Ashley ask that last one, because it feels like the sort of thing she would ask now... of all of them.)
Author's Response:
I really hope my last response to you isn't discouraging you from analysis. Even if I get a bit heated, I do enjoy hearing your thoughts.
We'll have to see on those two. I mostly have in mind what I want to cover.
Date: April 04 2014 8:07 AM Title: Jenna - Part 3
Yay inspiration! I am always good for more chapters to this. You weren't really planning on leaving this story here were you?
Anyway, this is the first chapter we managed to see actual human emotions from jenna, despite what her defenders say. Still I don't think i understand her character concept. So she's supposed to be a self loathing sadist? Like she would have gotten off on torturing Ashely, shes aware of this and hates herself for it? Well its good to know she does have a consciense but it doesn't make her my favorite character. (still not sure who that is though).
Anyway, I wanted to comment on something you said in an earlier post. You mentioned that people were getting too worked up about what happened to Ashley in this story when it really amounts to a minor hazing and being mean for 30 minutes. While i admit this wasn't as torturous as I had expected and 2/3s of it was just talking, Isnt this basically what Claire did to the girls in Consequences? So which is it, a minor hazing or a punishment fit for felons, it can't be both.
Finally, i take back what i said about Ashley hating the girls for this, since it was her fault and she probably needed something like this to make her realize it (I like the way her character concept is sweet but dumb). Still I doubt she can ever be totally at ease around Omegas again. with awareness of her own power she's become aware of theirs too, no matter how much they love her its going to be ackward.
Hey Are we going to see that Beta boy in the epilogue? maybe get a glimpse of what Ashleys going to do to apologize?
Author's Response:
I wasn't, no. I'm folding a little bit into the eqilogue, actually.
That's a decent enough assessment. She has sadomasochistic tendencies (and I'm surprised people don't clue in to the "masochistic" part of that word given some of her thoughts and reactions in her chapter in Consequences), and while she's aware of them and comfortable with those tendencies when it comes to her job, her interactions with people outside of her work do generate a level of self-disgust.
I don't know, I view what Claire did to the girls as a few levels above what was done to Ashley. She basically beat the shit out of Naomi with her tongue while giving the impression she was going to eat her, actually DID eat Marion (after coming very close to breaking her with a squeeze), and went on a pretty hard jog with Stephanie tucked underneath her toes. She may not have killed or seriously injured them, but she didn't shy away from actual pain.
I'm undecided on if I'm actually going to include the Beta in the eqpilogue. It's a cointoss between him and an Alpha friend of his that is huuuuuuugely fucking angry about what Ashley did to his best friend. Ultimately, I'll see what I like more.
[Report This]Date: April 04 2014 7:38 AM Title: Jenna - Part 3
You mentioned you were curious as to my idea of what is coming. Well there are two threads that need to be closed. First, the 'final lesson' alluded too earlier in the story:
***
"I guess because you're an Omega, and I'm not," she answered flatly. Claire's smile vanished, her eyes softening for a moment before narrowing.
"Ashley," Melody stated softly "that's not-"
"Don't bother, Melody," Jenna interjected sternly.
"If that's what she wants to think, let her. It's just one more lesson to teach before the day is done."
***
I mean, we have to have something that speaks toward it. And, secondly, this thread:
***
Once this was over, and assuming that Melody was even willing to return to their former pretenses of equality, that feeling would still linger, stronger than ever. That feeling of absolute inferiority in the face of her truly god-like sibling, one she could never hope to compare to.
***
Surely the three girls realize how their relationship as friends with Ashley has changed. Claire mentioned in the last chapter to remember they still loved her. But surely they understand the inferiority complex such treatment could impart. I have no idea how they'll address that, they certainly won't be able to 'cure' it. Howerver perhaps the girls will think of a way to make Ashley feel a bit more like an equal in SOME respects. I hope so at least.
Date: April 04 2014 7:36 AM Title: Jenna - Part 3
I just wanted to say how much I have been enjoying reading your stories. I really appreciate the way you have created a society with multi sized interaction without relagating part of it to some subhuman caste where it is all right to do anything you want to the small people.
The writting itself well done, from my perspective it flows really well. I find your character interactions to be believable, and if your Omegas tend to come off as really good people, perhaps a little too nice for people with that much power over others, you do provide reasonable grounds for that in your story. The description of the interactions are handled really well, and even though it has never really ventured into some of my prefered areas (I am a butt man), I have keep finding myself caught up in them.
Thank you so much for sharing.
Author's Response:
Thank you very much for the kind words.
I'll say that there may be some posterior action somewhere eventually, though I wouldn't expect anything of the anal insertion variety. Not my thing.
Date: April 04 2014 7:20 AM Title: Jenna - Part 3
This chapter was great. No real big review. Jenna’s character, for better or worse, has been gone over with a fine tooth comb. Jenna and Ashely are friends, Jenna is aware of her sadomasochistic tendencies, and obviously wouldn’t want to have that coming out toward a person she cares about.
Author's Response:
I'm insulted. Anything less than a six page dissertation is unacceptable!
[Report This]Date: April 04 2014 6:59 AM Title: Jenna - Part 3
@Xkcd0088
I don't think we can assume that Jenna divides people into two groups naively as you suggest. The fact that this universe has different offence classifications (Class A, B, C, etc.) implies more than two 'groups'. It seems you are not a fan of such things as capital punishment here in the US. While I am not by any means saying that the Omega system of 'justice' is ideal, I'm curious as to what the ideal justice system would be in your opinion. If you wrote a story about it, I'd read it. You've mentioned on the lines of 'just read the mind of the criminal' and rehabilitate, etc. Clearly any justice system devised and run by humans will be flawed as we are flawed individuals, but I'd like to see what you consider closer to perfect.
As for this chapter, I don't care that Jenna seemed a little bit out of character. In fact I don't think she was out of character. She's known Ashley for all of her life and they are friends. Jenna is not evil incarnate. She has a heart and that showed in this chapter and the previous one. It is entirely possible for someone to enjoy torturing those who 'deserve' it (note, I personally do not like that quality in her), and still show love to a friend -- Jenna even sees the side of herself that she despises, she knows that it exists.
Ultimately, as a fan of gentle gts, this would probably have to be my favorite chapter too. Although I think the next chapter, the epilogue, will surpass that since I have an idea of what is coming (and am greatly looking forward to reading it).
Author's Response:
Said it before, and I'll probably have to say it again: System's not meant to come off as idealic (though I'd personally take it over the millenia of "A Beta? Kill it, keep it, whatever, no one gives a shit" attitudes that saw an entire sentient race treated like disposable toys), and there's a very war-like mindset to the whole thing. Shit needs an overhaul. It might get it, it might not. We'll see, eventually.
I am curious as to what your idea of what's coming is, with the caveat that I won't confirm either way.
Date: April 04 2014 5:22 AM Title: Jenna - Part 3
I thought this chapter was the best written in this story so far, which I might add is not intended as a slight on any of the previous chapters. And it was good to get another perspective of Jenna. If I did have a complaint it would be that some of Jenna's previous actions (tone of voice when declaring it her turn, look in her eyes etc) come across as involuntary actions that contradict her words in this chapter. I'm guessing those actions were meant to be deliberate acts of subterfuge on Jenna's part but in my opinion they didn't come across as that, which is why many of us did not consider Jenna capable of this.
I should have mentioned this in my previous review but I do understand that from a story perspective the 'punishments' are necessary. I also think I understand why it is Jenna who is taking this role. As far as I can tell she is the only one that they couldn't trust to carry out any sort of physical punishment because of the risk that she'd lose herself in the thrill of it. This doesn't explain why they couldn't have just had Claire carry out the punishment (or why its needed at all) but again, story considerations.
Author's Response:
The way I was generally hoping Jenna's mannerisms would come across in the end is as a mix of both Jenna somewhat playing up perception of her as well as Ashley seeing what she "wants" or "expects" to see in her.
That's a fair assessment on why this part came down to Jenna. I'll also say it's because she can express a certain harsh detachment with an attitude Ashley likely would have been faced with from whoever her Warden could have been had she not been a minor. And yeah, if you want to get behind the curtain about it, a lot of stuff here is "story considerations." The girls each have a turn because I want to explore them a bit and explore a slightly different thing with them. With Melody and Claire, it's reluctant and casual domination, both of the body and the mind ("impressing" desires onto a more helpless person in particular is something I wanted to go over). With Jenna, I really wanted to do that "lines" thing in regards to the safety of a smaller being as well as explore a girl with sadistic tendencies who tries to draw a line on what she views to be "acceptable" satiation of those tendencies with a fear of going over that line. The story itself exists because I want to explore a little bit of what I imagine mixed-size relationships would be like between friends/relatives/etc, and the neurosis that would likely be held by the smaller person in those relationships.
Date: April 04 2014 4:49 AM Title: Jenna - Part 3
I don't know if she can love them the way they say still love her, it will be tough. At least I hate Jenna less now. Things will never be the same , no matter what they do or say after this.
Date: April 04 2014 4:33 AM Title: Jenna - Part 3
Okay this wasn't bad. It makes sense that Jenna wouldn't outright torture one of her closest friends younger sister and the fact that you made it for a believable reason is all the better. It's almost like people aren't just black and white and are OFTEN found laying somewhere in the middle.
Side note: Reading these comments and finding arguably your three most powerful characters (at least in this story be referred to as "stooges" was personally hilarious. No offense intended to either party although it would be funny to see someone even try to call an omega that.
Author's Response:
I'm still kinda eh on how many people honestly thought Jenna was seconds away from snapping Ashley's limbs at any given moment. There were honestly some assumptions about that really bothered me. Jenna's not a perfect person, but she isn't some monster that sits back waiting for an excuse to hurt anyone and everyone. She does have a moral code, and while I'm not going to get into how progressive that code is, it does guide her actions, for better or for worse.
[Report This]Date: April 04 2014 4:07 AM Title: Jenna - Part 3
Took me a moment to realize what Jenna was doing but when I realized it it was brilliant. Playing off of her reputation to infuse Ashley with that crippling sense of dread and anxiety of what 'might' happen. The same feeling that the Beta Ashley hurt no doubt felt as well. Hell, she was so effective it worked on just about all the commenters too!
Jenna really elevated herself in my eyes in this chapter and I can't wait to read the epilogue.
Author's Response:
Jenna Reynolds: Theatre Genius.
This one was honestly a treat to write. It was...pleasant, to portray a softer, more affectionate Jenna.