[Report This]Date: December 19 2014 11:06 AM Title: Chapter 20: THE LOSING SMILE
Yep! Definitely a show-off, now.
[Report This]Date: October 07 2014 6:54 PM Title: Chapter 20: THE LOSING SMILE
Hm, but I'm not sure the 'lesson' taught the instructors anything, other than they can't beat Ann. In fact, Adam's first reaction to his defeat was to fight Josh. Violence begets violence.
As for 'abuse', Ann only has anecdotal evidence from Mary:
"they're bad at parties. They play the worst practical jokes on people, really destructive ones that wreck people's property, but nobody dares to stop them, because they both have high black belt gradings; and if anyone plays a similar practical joke on them, that person gets beaten up."
There are two sides to the story, and she never heard Adam and Josh's side. Those exolimbs are powerful; she could have hurt someone with her questionable vigilante tactics.
However, remember these are just my thoughts as a reader reading the story. It in no way implies you as an author failing to show 'thought or maturity'. In fact, as an author, I think you did a great job since Ann shouldn't be expected to have the same maturity as an adult. So in that respect it's realistic.
And with realism comes emotions, and I'm pretty open about how stories make me feel when I make comments. :)
Author's Response:
Thanks. And she tries another approach, equally immature but possibly funny to read, in the next two chapters.
[Report This]Date: October 07 2014 6:24 PM Title: Chapter 20: THE LOSING SMILE
Ann's abuse of her power saddens me. It testifies to the famous quote: "Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely."
However, she's very young. While that doesn't excuse her behavior, it helps explain it. She was excited to test her equipment, and has some growing up to do.
I like the way the chapter ended with her refusal of the ill-earned black belt and her statement: "I hate all this violence." That shows she's growing up. So, what started off sad ended on a positive note. I'm rooting for Ann and her continued growth as a character, hopefully to the point where the story permits Martin's survival.
Author's Response:
Actually the whole plan was to teach the martial arts instructors not to abuse their skills. It's just done in a roundabout way to hide her exolimb abilities. Could a teenager have come up with a better way?