[Report This]Date: April 09 2016 3:38 PM Title: Chapter Fifteen
Wow, there is a lot of things that I want to say about this chapter and some other things that have been on my mind. This might get a little confusing but try to hear me out.
The first thing that have been on my mind is that the Angels just don't feel as powerful or intelligent as you would think. The only thing the angels have going for them is their size. I can understand that they are really big, but that seems to be it. Most battles occur in space which means that technology is doing all the hard work. We had then shown as intelligent because they hacked a state of the art ship, but now we know that is was done prematurely by code. The angels also seem gullible to a fault. I would just use their pride against them to lure them into a trap. All in all the angels are intimidating but we aren't seeing what they are capable of that a normal girl could do if they were the same size.
I'm still onnn the border with the whole diamonds thing. Other than drill bits, diamonds have no real value. We can actually make things artificially harder than diamonds. Unless the future has some sort of special use for them then it would have been better if the planet was made up of some unknown element that has some actual use.
I'm not trying to sound harsh but I just haven't seen anything special about the angels except for being really big. Other than that this is still a great story.
Author's Response:
I added this to a private message to you at Giantess City and I'm posting it here with some minor alterations so people can see my response to the points raised. You can ignore this if you wish, Lancealot501.
This is a long response so bear with me for a few minutes. And I hope you respond and clarify yourself. The essence of my reply is that I think you're not putting yourself in the humans' 'shoes' as it were and seeing the story with the 'reader's bias' as it were. And, just so you know, I plan to release some visual aids to help the reader visualize the main characters.
You're not seeing it from the human perspective. You know things, being a reader, that 99% or more humans in the story don't know. They weren't aware the Angels had help. What the humans see is a power hungry, and seemingly unstoppable, giantess.
They do know the Angels have pride, and maybe you are right that they are gullible. However, maybe they (or their flagships) have design flaws built in purposefully to keep them in check. Like a fail safe.
Moving onto the diamonds, I have two things to say. Firstly, I know that diamonds are nothing special (so I buying diamond jewellery is stupid to me), but most people don't know that prices are kept artificially high. Secondly, what if the Angels were created to manufacture wars as well?
What if the arms manufacturers were in on them too? Which they must be because his else could they get such big ships. What if this is also part of a plan to drive up sales of military hardware too?
Even today people talk about how the billionaire class rule the world, secretly. Some people don't care how many people suffer in their pursuit to be richer. The Angels make perfect sense from sales perspective. They seem somewhat alien yet they manage to be sufficiently human.
I don't like I unknown elements. I want this story to be science fiction not science fantasy. I'm trying to make it believable, and within the scope of possibility.
When you say: "we aren't seeing what they are capable of that a normal girl could do if they were the same size."
You're seeing things as the reader. Eris took the credit for hacking the ship. As far as the humans on that ship were concerned, the Angels can do things humans can't do. Yes, it's all an elaborate façade, but the humans fighting them don't know that.
In summary: I don't think you're bring harsh. Instead, I think you're being short-sighted. You forgot to remember a that you know things the typical human does not know. The average human will buy into that fear, like how more people die because in motor vehicle accidents than terrorism but we must be scared of terrorists. Keeping diamond prices artificially high may be a side effect or a sideshow.
Billionaires like to hang out with each other at exclusive clubs, be members of exclusive organizations and attend secret meetings. It's conceivable that several individual billionaires decided to start working together for a common goal after having discussions at a secret meeting. That common goal being to increase their wealth.
So what you might have is a closely guarded meeting of C.E.O.s of different companies plotting create entities that achieve their common purpose. Since you've finally reached the newest chapter, it might be worth you going to read the reviews now as there has been extensive discussion about the story already, as well as with user NoStory, in private, via e-mail before posting chapters.
There is still room to expand the reasons the Angels were created. The mining companies don't have be mining for just diamonds after all. Platinum would be even better than gold I suspect.
In terms of special powers, I want them all to be something theoretically possible in biology so that's quit restrictive. Maybe Eris secrets poison; I don't know? Perhaps Nike could have had the ability withstand the vacuum of space (like those tardigrades that were taken into space and put on the outside of the I.S.S. and survived), allowing her to get up close and personal with the humans, but her arrogance ultimately cost her. In my discussions with NoStory, we agreed that whoever kills Eris will need to get up close somehow because she has an 'Achilles heel' if you will. My understanding is you don't want spoilers so unless you ask I won't say more.
[Report This]Date: January 18 2016 7:58 PM Title: Chapter Fifteen
Wow. This story is truly epic. Incredible job you've done to create such a fascinating world.
Just gonna get this out there that I absolutely love the name Persephone, how it sounds and what it represents.
As I'm initially reading I'm kinda vexed because we cannot see the angels' faces but then I think how unique that concept is. I mean sure people have written stories where they purposefully leave certain details regarding a giantesses/goddesses appearance so that we the readers can come to our own assumptions of what this individual actually looks like. However you have taken that idea to a completely different level by not just having the reader not know what the Angels look like but also any humans not deemed worthy. Genius.(although I think the veil is much more sexy and mysterious than some kind of helmet that bends light or something, as cool as it sounds) Unfortunately you didn't go into very much detail about said helmet so it was kinda confusing, for me at least, how the thing looks or works.
Chapter 6(well actually 5 since chapter 1 is the prologue) is by far my favorite. The way you delivered it was perfect. Of course I'm a bit biased because I have a certain affinity towards sexy feet. I really like how you conveyed the size difference between Nyx and Sidney in that scene as well.(what I'm saying is that if I could write how I want to in my head, that's how I would hope it'd come out, if that makes sense)
Enjoyed the whole thing about how the main angel(Eris I think the name was) was working with the miners the entire time and is in fact a creation of the miners herself.
My only problem is that there seems to be a chapter missing because the last two chapters are identical.
Anyways, spectacular story and I really hope that you continue it.
aaron
PS I'm gonna fav this story and you as an author.
Author's Response:
Hi,
Chapter fourteen and fifteen both displayed chapter fifteen for some reason, and I've not changed that so that they display the correct chapters. You can go back and read that chapter if you wish now. I have no idea how that happened.
Bending light is something humans can achieve today. It's not science fiction. Here you go: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wxH1rmOTpFA (I'm sure you can find other videos on the subject if you look).
Yes, I could go into more detail, but I'm not sure how. I am in the process of writing the next chapter, and I'm not sure how many more they'll be, Thank you for your kind words, and I really expected you review sooner than you did. And I suppose this is just what I needed to incentivize me to work faster.
Date: December 18 2015 6:35 PM Title: Chapter Fifteen
Jeez, Sidney's life is the definition of women troubles. He's got a crazy sociopath and trigger happy cannibal, a giantess with a god complex who is unwilling to listen to reason and has a taste for human flesh, and now this girl, who he knew from before and doesn't seem too stable herself. I probably would have gone insane by now, its a testament that Sidney can keep his morals intact with all the crazy he's breathing in.
Author's Response:
One of the key qualities needed of astronauts, and indeed pilots, is the ability to keep calm under pressure. Seeing as Sidney has been described as an ace naval pilot, it's safe to say that he excels in all of natural talent needed to be in the military, and out in the vacuum of space. As military service optional (on Mars) it is reasonable to assume that there was some kind of screening process for applicants.
If Sidney was the sort of person to go crazy easily then he wouldn't have been accepted. And, after all, this is mission to Eris's system was far from his first. He's proven himself an ace pilot so he's probably been in lots of tough situations.
But perhaps Sidney is slowly going crazy? It certainly wouldn't be a quick transition. Or perhaps I'm being too generous to Sidney. Not that it matters, of course, because everyone interprets a story and its characters differently.