Date: August 22 2016 12:20 PM Title: Chapter 1: Introducing the Contestants
This has some wicked potential! You've introduced the characters in a clean, interesting way. I will give a 5 star rating in hopes that you will continue to progress this story. There are so many paths that you can take! You could do some unaware stuff with teachers and fellow cheerleaders (since you've established that), entrapment scenes similar to the foot but somewhere else, and so much more. Does River (the head cheerleader if I remember) have a "best friend" on the cheer team? Because Nova could slip River (or even a different girl) in the best friend's uniform, underwear, shoes, etc. and see if she can survive for bonus points
I appreciate the interest that has been gained, and the ideas that you've given me are great. I will truly have to consider some of those ideas, as they're quite good. I very much appreciate the five stars, and hope that the story will continue to impress, and I am confident that it shall continue to progress. Once again, many thanks for both the rating and ideas.
Date: August 12 2016 10:57 PM Title: Chapter 1: Introducing the Contestants
These girls' names range from White-Girl Wasted to Weird Ass Space Western.
Nice start, interesting plot. Four stars only because your verb tense changes and lack of punctuation irk me so. He looks forward to more.
Yeah, I just picked names that just sounded interesting at the time. I might go back and change that. As for the the verb tense changes, I've noticed that's a problem I have, might have to go back rework that chapter. As for the plot, I'd hoped that it sounds interesting. I appreciate the four stars, and I hope that I'll be able to improve the problems that you pointed out to me.