Reviewer: kbDArt Signed [Report This]
Date: June 26 2023 10:57 PM Title: Introduction

I agree with Gershwin's review, but I'm gonna be a little kinder in the review, as I really like the idea of Sorority shrinkies and I thought you did really well with the Susan-Quinn (really like her teasing dialogue towards him and how she worked herself up to eating him) and Jenny-Jacob. I thought the crush deaths with Cindy and in the Quarry were done a little too flippantly as well as a couple of the vore deaths. That said, I would encourage you to keep writing - you'll only get better the more you write.

Here's what I would recommend if I were doing the story:

1. Use a little more backstory and dialogue for the couples that knew eachother and as they walked up to the Sorority House.
3. Used some more games for the shrinkies (truth-dare, zipling), perhaps a little femdom stuff (shrinky ball-gags, where the shrinky tries to keep out of the mouth - this could have been a game amongst the women), perhaps even a game of shrinky pinball to get the crush element in.

Reviewer: YellowBlack Signed [Report This]
Date: July 21 2018 7:35 PM Title: Introduction

I think this is a very strong premise that you could go in many good ways with. I'm interested to see where the story goes!