Date: November 12 2018 3:18 PM Title: Chapter 9 - Spelunking
Scary stuff. I have no idea which direction this story will take. Cliff-hangers are so annoying. Intense story. There aren't that mant intense stories at Giantess World. If only there were more writers like you.
Date: November 12 2018 2:55 PM Title: Chapter 6 - Pussy Whipped
As you have said yourself, you could have been a lot more detailed in this chapter. You could have split the toilet segment to make a new chapter. Not only due to the inevitable length, but also due to the fact that it's a very niche thing.
I actually thought it was well written (which made me appreciate it more than I perhaps would have done) but I have to state I don't usually like that sort of thing. I can't put an exact number on it, but it is an extreme minority of people who are really into excrement related things. I suppose though, it's a real statement of demeanment (is that even a word) shows that Cameron means very little, if anything at all to them. It’s sad to acknowledge but then that’s what he wants I suppose.
Date: November 12 2018 2:16 PM Title: Chapter 4 - Party Night Preparation
"I’ve known her for a long time, and but didn’t know that she was a dominatrix."
I don't think that you need the "and".
Is it interesting that here:
“And who else…oh, Goddess Kristine! I play with her on my softball team..."
She is refereed to as "Goddess Kristine" but later on (in the next chapter, for example) she is refereed to as "Mistress Kristine". I think that is the odd segment out.
I don't see why she needed to stand on Cameron whilst she was drying off but whatever. A detailed chapter. Only some minor discrepancies to note, as I have done.
Date: November 12 2018 11:20 AM Title: Chapter 2 - A Submissive Saturday
spooj... I like that word. I've not seen it used before. Here:
“Roll on your side, please,” she inquired of Robert, who complied.
I don't think "inquired" is the right word. Inquired makes me think of an "inquiry". I'm guessing you meant something like "instructed" (or "requested"). Maybe it was auto-correct gone wrong again? Or am I mistaken.
“Hands and knees, crawl over here to Robert’s feet, and beg him to suck on his cock,” Mistress Sara said with authority.
I don't think you mean for Cameron to beg Robort to suck on his own penis. I think you meant for it to say for Cameron to suck on Robert's penis. Like this:
“Hands and knees, crawl over here to Robert’s feet, and beg him to allow you to suck on his cock,” Mistress Sara said with authority.
Going back to this section:
For as much as she loved his devotion to her, truth was that she would never be caught out in public with him, unless he were shrunk and attached to her anklet as a charm or wrapped around her toe like a ring, perhaps.
Yeah I notice these details. Sara has just gone ahead and used him as an acessory, just as was written previously. Cameron thinks nothing of it because he doesn't know the thinking and he's unquestioning anyway. For her it's a compromise it sounds like, because she has Cameron for the weekend and doesn't want to leave him at home.
Author's Response: Good constructive comments. Clearly some edits will need to be made and I appreciate you pointing this out as it could lead to confusion.
Date: November 12 2018 10:50 AM Title: Chapter 1 - Friday Night Underfoot
Something that was written in a previous chpater stood out to me:
"For as much as she loved his devotion to her, truth was that she would never be caught out in public with him"
Do you think if Cameron knew that Sara thought those thoughts it would change his view of her? Maybe there's some way to reveal that which would further pull him away from her. I have scannmed through all of the chapters now and I know what's coming (also because you told me).
It is interesting that despite all that he has done up to this point she thinks that she wouldn't want to be seen in public with him. Maybe it was a throw away comment though. It just sounds so insulting to Cameron though.
Date: November 10 2018 6:35 PM Title: Chapter 1 - Friday Night Underfoot
Great story so far! Can't wait for more f/ foot content from you and thanks for marking out the m/ content at the beginning of chapters it makes it much more enjoyable for readers like me.
Glad to see the softball footwear return too, there's nothing quite like well worn athletic footwear!
Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed. I had fun working with the client on this story and I suspect that there will be more after the New Year. I appreciate you giving this a chance despite the male giant content. I get that it is definitely not everyone’s cup of tea. Stay tuned!