Reviewer: Chanbon79 Signed [Report This]
Date: August 24 2019 7:47 AM Title: A Savior Appears

Excellent work! I´m on the edge of my sit. Thank you very much!!!!!

Author's Response:

Thank you very much!

Reviewer: Mr in A suit Signed [Report This]
Date: August 22 2019 7:41 PM Title: A Savior Appears

YES! YES!! YES!!! BOTH CHAPTERS (32-33) DESERVE 10 OUT OF 10!!! 

As I said in past comments, I had the feeling you were cooking something big related to the sisters. Their relationship with Max, in my opinion, always was (and is) the main driving force of the story. Not Ashley x Alexis, but Ashley x Max x Megan, Alexis just playing the role of a catalyst in the barrel of gunpowder that was Max's house prior to her arrival. And I think only half of the barrel exploded.

On ch. 32, Ashley is hell bent on making Max admit that he loves her (third lesson), but she is not sattisfied with words, she steps up to the next level and in this chapter (33) openly admits he is hers and only hers. I've seen someone asking what would Alexis have done if Max had choosen to go with Megan, and my guess is: she would have gone for another tiny, but that wouldn't be the same experience for Ashley as it was made abundantly clear that, whyle Alexis enjoyed whatching Ashley torture Max (she is a sadist and a voyeur), the one getting trilled with having Max all to herself was none other than Ashley.  

Than there is Megan, who right after getting what she wanted (a tiny to worship her as a goddess), came right back trying to take Max with her. Why? For the same reason as Ashley - you can have sex with any tiny, that won't mean a damn thing without the feeling, and she has feelings for Max. That is why I think she is able to conciliate the fact that she doesn't care about having other tinies suffer for her pleasure, while also deeply carring for Max. In her eyes, as well in the eyes of Ashley, theri is the tinies, the people like her and there is Max.

Right now the roles are reversed, but we can't forget she paired up with Alexis at the begining. I doubt Ashley will let it slip as she is desperate to find some justification to run from reality. I think the fight will just escalate from here.

You even titled the chapter "savior" BUT, I think there is more to it then meets the eye. Megan is not strictly speaking a savior. And it's not because of the barista (I am not in the barista team kkk), but because Megan motivations are the same as Ashley. She loves Max and wants to have him all to herself. Thats the main reason she came live with Ashley (she doesn't want to be without Max, even if she has a boyfriend or a slave that worshps her everyday) and now her chance is here! She saves him and becomes the good sister, the goddess he puts up in a pedestal. She doesn't have anywhere to go? But she has! Don't they have a mother? Yes, she will bring him back to where he can be only hers.

The problem? The tiny slave and the barista. In my opinion he will scape, taking advantage that both sisters are just too flustered over their brother condition, and call for help as Max sinks into madness. This help will be Liz, who will get just in time to unmask Alexis that gets arrested or kicked out for good (I would love to see Megan kick her ass). That part settled, the conflict is not over. Far from it.

Seeing Max condition, Liz or even Dr. Tailford might suggest he be taken to a RP community for treatment. That is the main conflict I think will develop in this final arc as everyone will have to face their true feelings and motivations. As I said in another comment, neither sisters will want to hand Max over, and a battle will issue for the broken heart and mind of Max. How, if it's obviously Megan and Ashley won't let Liz near Max and she is a tiny? The University. Ashley is Max legal guardian and has to maintain a facade of normallity. To the rest of the world, she and Megan still just Max sisters.

Then there is Max, who is obviously attracted to his sisters but lives in conflict and denial. Part of his growth has to pass through this question: does he love his sisters only as sisters or there is more... man! this could even be left open in the final for a second part of the main story!

There is another possibility, as I don't think Alexis will fall without a fight. Both sisters made a ton of ilegal things, be it with Max or the tiny she gave to Megan. It would be just like Alexis to have recorded all Ashley adventures with Max. As for Megan, she just picks her tiny back and he is a living withness that will be willing to testify against her. But wouldn't he testify against Alexis too? No, either because he is more scared from her or because, different form Megan, Alexis doesn't have a history and would be more difficult to process. That is when Liz comes in, willing to help the sisters for Max sake.

I don't know if you already finished writing the end, but I would love to see a showdown between Ashley, Megan and Liz over Max, which would have to make his choice. If it isn't possible now, maybe in a sequel? A part 2? I think these conflicted feelings within Max (who also fells atraction for Megan and Ashley, it's undeniable) and his sisters are just too interesting and complex to resolve in a chapter or two.

 

You have writen a master piece!! It has all, emotional turmoil, the sexual parts play a crutial role into understanding the characters (you can't just skip them) and, most important, the characters!! You made me love them, than hate and then love again. You got people invested! Congratulations!! I haven't had so much fun with a story in quite some time. If just everybody could keep this level of quality while also updating daily! I sure can't! You have a talent! As always, thank you and, please, keep up the marvelous work :DD

 

Author's Response:

Once again thank you for the passionate review. It is very heartwarming for me to know that someone has enjoyed my work so very much, especially since this is my first attempt at doing this. 

 

As with your last couple reviews, I am going to avoid dropping spoilers because we are getting very close to the end and I would prefer that everyone get to see how things unfold organically. However there is one point that I want to make regarding the legality of using an RP as a plaything, and I cant remeber at the minute if I included this fact in this story, or if it got put into the spinoff "Losing Control - Escape From Tailford Manor." At this current point in time the laws surrounding shrunken persons are very vague, with certain groups of people trying to convinve the government not to provide special treatment for RP's. It is for this reason that Alexis is so confident that she will never see any punishment for the things she does, and it's also why she wants to go into politics, so that she can work to strip all rights away from shrunken people. Basically this is my way of explaining the police not getting involved with all these abducted people.

 

As always, thank you so much for the fantastic reviews and for supporting the story so wholeheartedly. I hope that the story gets wrapped up in a manor that feels satisfying. Thanks again!