[Report This]Date: December 02 2019 4:16 PM Title: Chapter X-14: The Meeting - The Party
I swear you could have made a story just about this Meeting arc and it still would have been a good enough story on its own. But the fact that this is just a flashback to your main story is even crazier.
In case I wasn't clear, I still think you're doing a phenomenal job with this arc. The main characters of this chapter (Kelly, Naru, and Ani) are all great and the way they all playfully yet forcefully interacted with Mark while frequently underestimating their own strength was awesome to read. In a less unforgiving setting, this could be the start of a fun life for him.
Keep up the good work!
Author's Response:
Hey Sheograth!
Thanks for the kind words. I've enjoyed this arc myself, and plan on continuing to explore it.
You and some of the others readers thoughts are definitely something i've considered and adapted to suit the story - thanks for the help as they say!
-kenny
Date: December 01 2019 10:22 PM Title: Chapter X: To the airport
I'm loving the story. Very intriguing and steamy. I would love to see a follow up on the wedding of Kelly's foot lol. Or at least a one off short story. At least Mark gets to be married to his crush's foot
Author's Response:
Stay tuned! I'm not sure if and when, but that isn't beyond the realm of possibility;)
Date: November 30 2019 8:28 AM Title: Chapter X-13: A sunny day
Given that she believes he's enjoying himself, and how he's basically given up, I wouldn't surprised if she proposed him to work with her long term.
I'm curious to see if anyone is going to mention the kisses btw :D
Author's Response:
Hey Man! Thanks for the suggestion. It's something i seriously contemplated and began to write about, but I think the arc the story is going in might not have that particular scenario (working for her) make too much sense - at leaste not in that capacity.
But who knows? I don't. lol
Date: November 24 2019 4:20 PM Title: Chapter X-12: The Meeting - Goddess Kelly
Loving the story. I looking forward to see more interaction with Linh and Amoe.
Author's Response:
Glad you like it!
I've definitely got some ideas for the characters albeit i'm not sure exactly how i want to include them in the story, somewhat concerned i could be stuck on an expanding backstory, not that it's a particularly bad thing, but it could be a bit of a rabbit hole
[Report This]Date: November 23 2019 3:29 PM Title: Chapter X-10: The foot mine
Damn this is getting steamy! a+ on your inshoe and foot descriptions. excited for more!
Author's Response:
Steamy... or sultry - lol.
Thanks!
[Report This]Date: November 20 2019 9:14 PM Title: Chapter X: To the airport
I loved make america big again so im glad too see this 2
[Report This]Date: November 19 2019 11:24 PM Title: Chapter X-3: Onto the plane
This chapter was pretty incredible. I've often mused what it would really be like to be shrunken to a fraction of one's former size. And sealed away some place like this. Completely beyond the notice of all around. Never knowing if the next footfall of your captor would mark the end of your very existence. The fact that even with the best of intentions, Dianne is subjecting Mark to this kind of mental anguish, is pretty powerful.
I find myself wondering what it was like for the previous people that she smuggled this way. If they had faired any better than Mark. Or if perhaps they had already met an untimely end before Dianne even got situated on the plane. Either which way, the part with her giving him water while he remained trapped is one of my favorites so far. :)
Author's Response:
Thanks! I hope the rest of the story is equally "entertaining" ;p
[Report This]Date: November 19 2019 5:11 PM Title: Chapter X-2: Through security
I'm really excited to see where this story is going to go from here. I've always loved the idea of a shrunken person being smuggled to safety upon a person's body. And like so many other macro/microphiles out there, I have a pretty strong affinity for feet. So seeing the two things combined in a scenario like this is pretty wonderful. Especially when you throw in elements of sweat, musk and danger. All things that serve to reinforce how tiny and insignificant a person would be in a situation like this. So it's no wonder that the main character is finding his grip on reality slipping. Trapped as he is, and completely at the mercy of the kindness of this woman. Who could just as easily end his life as save it. :)
I'll definitely be reading more chapters tonight!
[Report This]Date: November 18 2019 7:43 AM Title: Chapter X-11: The Meeting - Greetings
Excellent chapter.
Even though you said there wouldn't be a lot of action in this one, I think that the way you described everything accurately depicted how tinies would react to a group of women meeting up. And your decision to have them stay in a doll house on the floor allowed you to really focus on the size difference and scale between them.
With this group of characters you just introduced, the potential for additional stories with them is really high. I don't know what you plan for the rest of the flashback, but I think it'd be interesting for Mark to interact one-on-one with each of the girls. You could easily add them at the end as bonus chapters if you've got something else planned.
You also did a great job with the unaware portions, where each of their absentminded actions could potentially end the tiniest, and the women wouldn't even notice right away.
Good luck with the rest of this arc!
Author's Response:
Thanks, I'm glad you like it! I wasn't entirely sure if these sections would be too much of a deviation from the current timeline, so hopefully it's just as good as the rest!
[Report This]Date: November 15 2019 3:41 PM Title: Chapter X-10: The foot mine
Well, our tiny hero is deeply, permanently f---d at this point, but I'm loving the narrative so far, and the brief interludes. I'm very happy to suspend my disbelief that a stewardess's personal hygiene could decline so rapidly from 'good' to 'inner ring of hell', because wow is it fun to see him pay his way to freedom through the most abject kind of slavery.
You're in the zone, right now, and this story has some nice energy to it. Really excited to see how you continue this. Hope it goes on for a while, and that you write some sequels or prequels.
Author's Response:
Ha thanks! Glad you like it!
[Report This]Date: November 12 2019 7:58 PM Title: Chapter X: To the airport
Wow, this is starting to get good. Heck, you even have some famous authors reviewing. Good job! (Thanks for the reply, it meant a lot. I have actually, with the last chapter.)
Author's Response:
Glad you're liking it!
[Report This]Date: November 11 2019 1:32 PM Title: Chapter X-8: In-shoe service
I think you're doing a great job, especially for your first attempt at writing a story.
You're incredibly descriptive and detailed, which really helps with visualizing how the events play out.
I also find it interesting how even though Dianne is pretty playful, it's treated as more of a downside since Mark has a far different view on how all of this works given his history and the world of the story.
There are lots of ways you can take the story once Mark tries to retreat to the purse like Dianne suggested. I'd be curious to see him get toyed with by a different woman without even realizing he was there. But I'm looking forward to whatever you have planned.
Keep up the good work!
Author's Response:
Hey Sheograth!
Thanks for the kind words. Honestly, I write this naturally and things happen... so who knows where thisis going! Not even I do, lol.
Also, you're kind of a legend. I've definitely read some of your stuff before, especially the stuff from writing.com, and i'm sure it's inspired me or given me some ideas, so thanks!
I apprecaite it!
Date: November 10 2019 9:55 PM Title: Chapter X-5: In the beginning...
Chapter X-5 reads like a conservative fever dream of what they think feminism is. You should watch the video from this YouTube channel - Knowing Better called “Taking the Red Pill”. Clears up a lot of misconceptions people have about feminism and its relation to men. Just a few things I’ll say here though. Toxic Masculinity is not men acting masculine, it’s men being told that they have to act a certain way or else they aren’t real men. It’s men being told that they need to “stop crying like a little bitch”. It’s men being told they can’t be emotionally vulnerable. And the Patriarchy is not just something that men use to oppress women, it’s something that works within society to force all people into specific roles. Not only does it say that women belong in the kitchen, it also says that men have to be the breadwinners of the house. The patriarchy is when a guy is looked down upon for staying home to watch the kids while his wife goes to work. Just keep an open mind about this stuff man.
Author's Response:
Hey sir! Thanks for the feedback.
A couple of points to make in response in regards to politics.
1. The political ideas here are used satirically, i do not think they are a mirror of reality (by golly if they did though boy oh boy lol). The basic "kernel of truth" (as i perceive it - see #3) are pushed to the extreme to explicitly create a compelling macrophilia fetish story.
2. The extreme political concepts are used to create a narrative and do world building, and i think these concepts work well to frame the feelings i want depicted in the story. By using ideas derived from reality, I can (hopefully) create a story people can identify with and thus find more compelling.
3. The "kernel of truth" of the politics in this story, regardless of an academic definition or your own personal belief, is based on my experience with these terms and the people who use them. Regardless of if that assessment is correct or common, it is my own experience with them – and in turn, one that I'm guessing is shared with others. In short, while i did make up the story and version of the “Make America Big Again” universe, the political ideas were communicated to me (perhaps poorly) by people seeming to espouse them.
We all have our own life experiences that frame the reality we live in, and I dont think that in this day in age you can honestly say that people have monolithic views on these things - you should look at what another reviewer wrote about this chapter in regards to his own life experience. Your opinion is just as valid as his.
Otherwise, I'm not really interested in discussing politics. As the story continues politics will continued to be used as a plot device to drive the narrative - but it's not the focus on the story, it's the dressing around the story that gives the characters motivations and obstacles.
Nonetheless, i appreciate the response and like with "Make America Big Again" i will include a statement in regards to politics so people can have an indication of it.
TLDR: This is a satire - the political concepts within do not represent what i think our current political reality looks like. My perception of the some of the basic elements of these politics is based on my own personal experiences with them, and I push them to an extreme to create a macrophilia fetish story.
Date: November 09 2019 11:00 AM Title: Chapter X: To the airport
This is great work for a first time story the tension you build up is great, kept me second guessing intentions.
Date: November 09 2019 2:39 AM Title: Chapter X-7: Random Rebecca
Rebeca is my kinda owner. No thought about what a little one thinks. She gets two for the price of one. At least for a while.
Date: November 08 2019 3:49 PM Title: Chapter X-6 Part 3: Bathroom Hygiene
Great chapter
Date: November 08 2019 7:27 AM Title: Chapter X: To the airport
It's always good to show respect. Maybe address Ms. Trent as Ms. Trent or Mrs. Trent and answer her with Yes Ma'am to show respect. No confusion so far with the ladies.
[Report This]Date: November 07 2019 9:29 PM Title: Chapter X-5: In the beginning...
It's strange. I was almost beaten to death by my mom around 20 years ago, so that I would learn to realize that women were not playthings. I have gynophobia due to that, but for some reason, I also have Macrophilia. Those two things seem to not go together but I have them for some reason. I understand that this may be extreme in some peoples eyes, but when my first and only girlfriend reported to the police that I raped her on the first date, they believed her. Completely ignoring the fact that I was raped by her. My testicles were stomped on repeatedly. And I was almost unconscious. She was congratulated for how good she had defended herself. So, to be honest, this sort of thing is actually believable. I love the concept of the railroad though.
Author's Response:
Hey man.
I'm not sure what to say, but I'm glad you shared. I have my own mixed feelings and issues - this story is somewhat based on my own life experiences as well (obviously not the being one inch tall trapped in a womans shoe part though lol)
In any case, thanks for the review! Maybe you'll recognize bits of yourself in some of my crazy imagination and recognize you're not the only one out there with this wild oxymoronic desires... or something
-kenny
Date: November 07 2019 5:24 PM Title: Chapter X-6 Part 1: Bathroom Hygiene
Too many good things to list, it's late and I should have kept notes or something... maybe when I reread it I will torment you with my ramblings.
In the meantime, I'll just point out the priceless "gluten for punishment" - don't give the president any ideas! ;)
Author's Response:
that's hilarious i'm so dumb thanks lol
Date: November 07 2019 2:07 AM Title: Chapter X-6 Part 1: Bathroom Hygiene
Looking forward to it.