Date: June 11 2020 8:51 PM Title: Chapter 3
I really like this concept. The contrast of a cruel and gentle scenario is neat. The mechanism of this story where digestion is optional, is a fun mechanic to play around with.
I think something that would be your writing is slowing down when you get to the action. Take a bit of time getting there and then build out the scenario. You and I both seem bent towards digestion, watersports, and odour. When you get to that point, give the audience some more description of what's going on - the smell, the sight, the feeling. Take your time there, paint a picture.
Your concept is neat and what I'm saying is that I'd like to see more of it. Keep up the good work!
Date: May 31 2020 12:22 PM Title: Chapter 1
I love the story so far the mix of gentle and cruel is good. i do hate amy but i assume most tinies would. cindy on the other hand i want to snuggle and just make her happy she is so adorable and she coukd even eat me if she liked.