“But you’ve lived so long, and I’ve only lived less than 20 years. How can you eat me?”
“It’s quite simple actually,” she teased, “First I add whipped cream, then stir slowly for a few minutes, serve at room temperature, lick the cream from your features and then swallow you whole.”
Further explanation of what happened next would be superlative.
Another day, Nick was walking in the Valley, when he saw a beautiful older woman sitting picnicking with her daughter. The daughter saw him and chased him and caught him.
“Careful not to hurt him Lena,” said the woman, “It’s good of you to catch him for me. I’m sure he’ll taste nicer intact.”
“Are you going to eat me?” asked Nick.
“My name is Mrs Fayte. I'm a widow, and yes, little lad. I am indeed going to eat you. But first let me tell you how I got the idea. Hundreds of years ago, a girl named Alice came from your land to this one with her admirer named the White Robert, whom she had almost eaten several times. She and Robert fell in love for years. One day Alice decided to go to the Queen’s palace and meet the Queen, who was holding a ball. Robert went through a special mirror that leads from her house to a little place called Looking-Glass Land, and from there, he returned through Wonderland to his own home for the few days that Alice was expected to be away. When he and Alice returned to the house, Alice told him that she had met the great love of her life and gotten engaged. She finally satisfied her long suppressed desire to eat the White Robert, got married and kept this house in the family all through the centuries. I am a direct descendant of Alice, and have heard the story of Alice and Robert passed down through the ladies of the family for centuries too. To me, the name White Robert always made me think that he was like a little white mouse, and that I should be like a big cat, if I could only find myself a mouse sized boy to eat, just as my ancestor had done. When I told my daughter of this, Lena nicknamed me the Cheshire Catwoman.”
“I have a Nick name too,” said Nick.
“What is it?” asked the Cheshire Catwoman.
“Nicholas,” said Nick.
The Cheshire Catwoman gave a beautiful laugh.
“I’m amazed you can joke in a situation like this,” she said, “You’re really going to make the Purr-fect picnic lunch for me.”
“In all seriousness, I don’t think it’s fair,” said Nick.
“Fairness no longer comes into it with me,” said the Cheshire Catwoman, “My husband and son fell through an opening in the ground and were lost. I had a companion for myself and a father for my daughter. Now I have neither, but I do have a delicious meal for my mouth.”
Before he could say anything more, the Cheshire Catwoman stuffed Nick into her mouth and gulped him into her throat.