Dear Diary,

…right. So that happened. Let me start from the beginning. I go to Mama Mia to look for Cindy. Why? Because I’m worried about her. The words “that my friend, is called being in love” keep crossing my mind. Do I love her? Does this even count as love? Why does Henry have to mess with my mind like this? It doesn’t matter, all I know is that I care about her, and I am worried for her well being. That’s allowed.

I get weird looks when I step into Mama Mia, probably because of my police uniform. I wonder how many laws are broken in here. To be honest, cops should not be chasing petty crimes; they should be trying to make the world a better place in the ways that matter. Like stopping Satyr. The fact that the masked man is Cindy’s ex must be really hard on her. I need to find her. While I can’t spot her in the main area, I do see a peculiar sight. Three girls are seated around a table. The redhead is laughing as the blonde and brunette make out. Upon closer inspection, I see a tiny man between the blonde’s cupped breasts, with only his head sticking out. The brunette girl is not making out with the blonde; she is furiously licking the shrunken man’s head. Lucky him…I mean, poor him. This tells me that Cindy is probably here.

“Excuse me,” I say as I approach them. The three girls look up at me, theirs eyes widening.

“Oh thank god officer!” the tiny man shrieks, “Tell these bitches to let me go!” The girls stare at me in anticipation. I suppose I could show a little authority here.

“What are you ladies doing?” I ask. It came off as way more nervous that I meant to. To be honest, I am starting to feel uneasy in the presence of these gorgeous women toying with a tiny man. But I need to focus.

“Oh officer,” the redhead looks at me coyly, “Did you hear how rude he is? You have to agree that he has it coming.”

“Let me the fuck go!” the shrunken man yells, “This is rape!” I have a much more important matter at hand.

“I don’t care what you do with him,” I state.

“Oh,” the blonde looks down at her victim, “Looks like the law is on our side.”

“But I do want to know,” I continue, “Who shrunk him?”

“Oh,” the redhead bites her lip, “Why, you want to join us?” I gulp, and I feel my face get hot.

“Who shrunk him?” I repeat myself.

“Shrimpy here went to hit on some chick,” the brunette explains, “She came back with him in her clutches.”

“What colour was her hair?” I ask.

“Same as mine,” the blonde says, tickling the tiny man with the ends of her hair.

“Where did she go?” I question.

“I think she went to the bathroom,” the brunette points to the distance.

“Thank you,” I give a quick bow.

“Aw, he’s cute,” the blonde winks at me, which I take as a signal to turn around and walk away.

“Wait, where are you going!” the man’s voice screams after me, “You’re being a bystander! Cops aren’t supposed to be bystanders!”

“Oh shut up,” the redhead puts out her hand, “Come on, my turn with him.”

I walk into the women’s bathroom. As I enter, a stripper simultaneously exits. She gives me a strange look, checks out my outfit, and leaves. I suppose she does not question my presence here due to me being a cop. I’ll take it. I hear repeated sniffling from one of the locked stalls. I knock on the door.

“For fuck’s sake!” I hear a familiar voice, “Can’t you see it’s occupied?!”

“Cindy, it’s me,” I speak.

“T-Thomas?” Cindy asks, “What are you…what are you doing here?”

“I used my deduction skills to estimate that you might currently be in an emotionally difficult place,” I explain.

“How the fuck did you find me?”

“I…used my deduction skills.”

“Yeah, well, didn’t your deduction skills tell you that I might want to be left alone?!” she snarls. I take a step back. That’s not good.

“We’re partners,” I say, “We have to look out for each other.” The stall door unlocks and opens. She is sitting on the closed toilet lid, hunched over with tattered makeup.

“I’m sorry,” she apologizes.

“You’ve been crying,” I comment.

“N-no,” she slurs her words, “Fuck your detective skills. Come here.” Last time I was with her under the influence…let’s just say she became more daring. But this seems different. I need to remember that she can go from a helpless mess to a towering giant in a second. I take a deep breath and step towards her. She grabs my hands. I can smell the alcohol on her breath.

“Did I ever tell you…how smart you are?” she stares into my eyes. I cannot help but smile.

“T-thank you,” I nod, “You too.”

“No but like, you’re a genius,” she continues, “I don’t know how I would do this…case thing…without you.”

“Thank you for the compliment but…you’re drunk,” I respond.

“I’m not d….you’re right,” she admits, “I am sooo…drunk.”

“Come on,” I say, trying to pull her out of the stall, “Let’s get you home.” I bend down and slowly sling her arm over my shoulder, and attempt to drag her out. She complies.

“Careful everyone!” she announces as I help her stumble through Mama Mia, “We’re officers here! We’re gonna shut all your shit down!”

“I’m so sorry,” I say as I witness the people’s uncomfortable faces.

“Nice ass, whore!” a stranger calls out.

“If you like it so much,” Cindy responds, “Why don’t you…go inside…it?”

“Come on, keep walking,” I sigh. We soon reach the table with the three girls I previously met.

“My friends!” Cindy cries out, suddenly pushing away from me and running to them.

“Oh!” the redhead’s eyes widen, “It’s you!”

“I guess you found her,” the brunette says to me as I arrive.

“Your girlfriend is…so cool,” the blonde speaks.

“She’s not my—” I start, “Whatever, continue.”

“She gave us a little gift,” the blonde continues, “A little, tiny, gift.” The three girls begin to giggle, and Cindy joins. All four of them are extremely intoxicated.

“So,” the detective speaks, “Wheeeeere is he?” The brunette points at the redhead, who reaches into her panties and pulls out the tiny man from before. She hoists him up for Cindy to see. He is naked, drenched, and shivering, with a deadpan expression on his small face.

“My goddess,” the poor guy is muttering, “My goddess my goddess my goddess goddess goddess goddess…” Horror creeps onto Cindy’s expression.

“I have to go,” she says, turning around to stumble away from the group.

“What’s wrong with her?” the redhead asks.

“A lot of things,” I reply, “But isn’t that all of us?”

I find Cindy outside, puking on the sidewalk. I rush over to my partner and slowly rub her back.

“There there,” I speak gently, “Let it all out.”

“I’m sorry Thomas,” she looks up at me, “I’m so sorry you have to put up with…all of this.” I look to the night sky and think for a moment.

“I wouldn’t trade it for the world,” I reply.

“Really?” Cindy asks, tears welling up in her green eyes.

“Yes,” I nod, “Come on let’s call you a cab.”