There are benefits to living in a narrow, cramped house on stilts. We’ve got a joined kitchen and living room and small 3x3 metre bedrooms and my buddy Eric lives in what’s supposed to be a storage room beneath the house. The rental crisis and yadda yadda and so on and so forth and the likes and such.

No, the sole benefit is his mate Liv who has the master upstairs and it’s on my mind at the moment because it’s directly above my room, and right now I can’t stop listening to the floorboards creak and the headboard tap-tap-tapping the wall as she fucks my other roommate, Dan. Both of them love the gym and they’re both blonde and they’re both perfect and my dick is in my hand as I imagine the sweat dripping off Liv’s forehead as she rides his long meaty cock. Her big tits bouncing as she sits up and takes his length, smirking down at him as she runs her hand down his hairy chest, and oh my god I wish I was there in the room with them, just a fly on the wall, literally as small as a fly, watching from the bedside table as these two chiselled gods make love to each other and rock my world. I swear the whole house shudders with each thrust.

There’s a knock on my door.

“DONT COME IN!” I yell, way too frantically.

“Dude, relax.” It’s Eric and he opens my door and I quickly pull up the covers and peer at him. “I was just wondering if I could use your butter,” he says.

“Oh… yeah. Sure.”

He smiles at me and looks at the ceiling. He shakes his head and closes the door without another word.

I groan as I rub my hand along my hard cock. I’m such a fucking embarrassment. I want to lick the sweat off Liv’s feet when she comes home from the gym and kiss her biceps after a pump. I try not to think of Dan, but I can’t help it and it only makes me harder when I try to ignore that mountain of a man. They continue this ritual each night and I’m always drained by the morning.

A few days later and it’s the middle of the week and Dan and Eric are at work. Liv and I are lying on the couches watching Succession, she got back from the gym half an hour ago. Our couch is arranged like an L with its back against the wall. Liv’s head lies on the armrest and my head is somewhere near the crook of the L. I’m swimming in the salty scent of her post workout feet but I don’t say anything. The bottom of her white socks are soiled grey on the ball and toes and she occasionally fidgets and scrunches them but I try not to look too long.

I like Succession. The characters are interesting, I hate them but I love them and I’d be lying if I didn’t want to know what happens to that little weasel. Liv loves succession and she’s been getting me to watch it with her as she goes about her third rewatch. She calls Kendall baby girl and since I relate to his daddy issues, I sometimes think that if Liv knew me better maybe she’d call me the same thing while my heads in her lap and she strokes my hair.

“Were you whacking off to me and Dan last night?” Liv says.

I blink. Everything stops for a moment and resumes when I feel ice cold as the blood drains from my face. I can’t stop thinking about their bodies writhing atop each other in the dark.

“What?” I say.

“I said were you whacking off to the sound of me fucking Dan last night?”

I turn to face her and she’s looking at me with her eyebrow cocked.

“What?” I say again.

“You are such a little squirmer.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Eric told me he caught you.”

Fucking prick.

“It’s called a joke,” I say.

“Oh really?”

“Yeah.” I settle back onto the couch and try to play it cool. “He’s taking the piss.”

We watch for a little longer but when the episode ends Liv gets up and grabs her phone and walks upstairs. Under the coffee table I see her discarded gym shoes and I practice a few moments of discipline before I lean over and pick them up and sniff the insoles deeply. She wears a Men’s size 13 and the soles are almost black in the shape of her wide foot. It smells like rubber and a cheddary funk and I’m such a piece of shit to invade her privacy like this but that’s what makes turns me on even more, so I’m caught in some perpetual loop of hatred and arousal and time is a flat circle. C’est la vie I say.

Two nights later our house is alive with commotion as the beers flow and we’re all gathered in the living room sprawled on the couches red faced and laughing. Liv guarantees she could beat Eric in an arm wrestle and he uses his wit to fight back but it doesn’t last long before he crumbles and they kneel beside the coffee table and link hands. Dan goes to get another beer and he asks if I want another. Yes please. Liv taunts Eric and tells him he’s a tiny little man and Eric calls her Bigfoot. They call me over to adjudicate. I hold their hands and countdown from three and they’re off. Liv’s brow furrows and she’s got a wicked grin on her face as her bicep bulges and a vein pops along it, Eric can barely keep up and his cheeks go red and he lets out a huff of air as his arm gets pushed further and further down.

“Jesus,” he breathes.

“Fuckin’…. Easy!” Liv shouts as she smacks his hand on the glass. When Dan returns he’s laughing at Eric and egging him on to go again.

“No way, she’s been snorting creatine.” He’s exhausted.

“Come on Finn get over here, lemme show you who’s boss.”

I love when Liv gets like this, when she’s all amped up and braggadocios. I kneel across from her.

“You know I have no chance.”

“Damn right.”

Her hand swallows mine and she could just yank me over the table if she wanted. She drums her fingers along the outside of my hand and I almost whimper when she squeezes it. Dan places his larger calloused hand over both of ours and counts us in. I try my best but Liv let’s out a hot rush of air from her nose and quickly moves my arm sideways and it smacks against the glass louder than Eric’s did.

“Dan you’re next!” She throws my hand away and Dan pushes me aside as he kneels down too. I take my beer and retreat to my room a little while later, I’m not embarrassed but it’s this other weird feeling caused by being physically bested by a woman who’s ten times stronger than me. You can imagine the one.

Next week, it’s Liv and I’s session of Succession again and we’re lying in the same position. This time I angle myself so I’m lying on my side which means I have unmitigated access to watching the bottom of her socked soles. I scooch a touch closer and I swear the smell of her feet is so powerful it’s almost too much. It’s salty and fresh and my nose wrinkles instinctively from the warm earthy musk. Her feet are best described as beefy, the kinda feet that belong to girls who are a little more heavy set, where their toes are pudgy and fat and squish together and their whole foot is puffy and broad and just generally… big. I want to press my face against her socks so bad they look so soft and they stink and I’m not even paying attention to the show.

Her feet part and Liv is staring down at me through the long muscled tunnel of her legs.

“Having fun down there?”

“Sorry, I was falling asleep sorry.”

That made her cackle. “Oh my god Finn. I’ve been watching you ogle my feet for the last ten minutes.”

“I wasn’t.”

“Oh right, so you just like curling up at my feet while we watch TV?”

“I was dozing off.”

“No Finn, you always do that. Do you think I haven’t noticed how you get in that position every time we lie like this?”

I’m unsure of how to respond.

“Do you like my feet? Is that it? God, and I just got back from the gym. Or do you like that too?”

She’s staring right at me, there’s something of a smirk on the corner of her lips but I feel like if I say anything I might get on my hands and knees and start barking uncontrollably.

“I should go. I’m sorry.” I stand up and her hand snags my wrist and sits me back down on the couch and she sits up herself.

“I want you to admit it.”

“Admit what?”

“You’re such a pest. If you admit it, I’ll let you get as close and personal as you want.”

Hook, line and - “okay you got me. I like your feet. Dans not gonna beat the shit out of me, is he?”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Uh, okay.”

“Did you think that Dan was fucking me last night?”

“Well, it goes both ways doesn’t it.”

“I was doing the fucking,” she says, pulling me closer and runs her nail gently down the length of my forearm, “with a cock about this big.” She glances at the tent in my shorts and looks back at me with a smile. “What do you think of that?”

I swallow and breathe. “That’s fucking hot,” I say.

She snorts and pats my cheek. “You’re cute.” She stands up and I’m too awestruck to remind her of our deal as she stretches out her back and her triceps and traps harden. “And unsurprising.” She gathers her things, her gym shoes included, and walks upstairs, leaving me in the middle of an important episode of Succession where I don’t even know what’s happening. They’re in congress, and from what I gather, you can’t make a tomlette without cracking a few greggs.

The next morning I’m standing by the sink pouring myself a tea, staring blankly at the water as it turns brown when I hear footsteps on the front stairs. In comes Liv stomping careless and heavy, chatting away on her phone, she’s red and sweaty from a run. “He loves it, seriously… yes that Dan.” She giggles and stops in the kitchen and leans on the counter. We make eye contact and she raises her brow in short acknowledgment. I turn back to my tea and keep listening. “No you’re so right, it’s hard to pick with some guys but like, I have a radar for these things… oh yeah, he’s such a little bitch.” She laughs. “Did I tell you what happened yesterday? So you know that other guy that moved in recently? Yeah him, the short one.” I turn around because they’re talking about me and Liv is already looking at me and she smugly waves her fingertips at me. “We were watching TV and he was practically drooling over my feet… yeah, and I just got back from the gym too, like, they were rank…I know, it’s always the foot guys… no but get this, this little shit openly admits to me that he was jerking off to the sound of me fucking Dan a few nights before,” she bursts into laughter. “Yup, I told him. You should’ve seen his face. It was so red.” It was incredibly red. “I swear men are just not what they used to be.”

I took my tea and left the kitchen, I made my way to the side of the house and entered Eric’s room. He’s painting the underside of his skateboard deck.

“Yo,” he says.

“Why the fuck did you tell Liv I was having a wank over her.”

“What?” He scoffs. “Were you actually?”

“What?”

“I mean, I was joking, but that’s hilarious.”

“You’re a cunt mate.”

“Says the one getting hard over moving furniture.”

I walk away from his hobbit hole scorned.

That night the creaking and tapping rattles from the ceiling again and the image of Liv and Dan is much clearer in my mind. This time it’s Dan on his hands and knees while Liv triumphantly rides him from behind, she’s much bigger in my dreams though and I don’t imagine she has a strap on, instead she has her own cock and her big balls slap into his each time she thrusts and the bed screeches across the floor. Dan whimpers and Liv grabs his hair and pulls it back as she leaves red scratch marks down his back and she growls in his ear that he’s half the man she is and this is what a real cock feels like. She pulls out and lays the length of her shaft on his back and lets him feel the girth of it before she continues to rub it up and down the crack of his ass and over his back and then hot cum erupts over his shoulders and I erupt too in a panting fit.

It’s afternoon by the time I wake up and Eric is reading Moby Dick in the kitchen.

“Afternoon sir,” he says.

“Finished early today?” I say as I open the fridge and look around for something to eat.

“Yup.” He continues reading and I decide I’ll just make scrambled eggs. As I’m whisking Eric puts his book down and speaks up. “Hey have you seen Dan recently?”

I hadn’t in the last two days. “Nah but, there was… action last night.”

“Weird. His doors locked but no one’s answering.”

“Right.”

“Anyway,” he slaps his book shut and stands up. “I’m garn skate park.” He packs his tote bag and grabs his board and away he goes.

It is weird though, Dan’s not one to be an introvert. When I finish breakfast, I walk upstairs and can’t help myself but peer into Liv’s room briefly and like Ahab I spot the whale of my obsession, sitting there proudly on her dresser is an enormous clear dildo attached to a harness and I’m so scared of it that I can’t bring myself to snoop any further and shut the door fast. Dan’s bedroom is a few paces down and locked shut. I knock.

“Dan?” I knock again. “Dan are you in there?”

“Go away,” he replies softly but, it’s not the deep voice I’ve come to know.

“Are you okay?”

“Finn… drop it.”

“Come on man, talk to me, what’s up?”

No reply.

“I won’t judge, I won’t laugh. I’ll just stand here and listen.”

“I - I don’t know how to say it. You won’t make a big deal?”

“I promise.”

The door unlocks and swings open and there stands Dan in a rugby shirt that goes to his knees, that’s the kicker, he’s shorter than me. A whole lot shorter, like he used to tower over me and now he looks like a kid, and he’s not built like a brick shithouse anymore, he’s scrawny and sickly looking.

“Oh, wow,” I say.

I’m not laughing because my mind is running wild thinking how can I get this to happen to me.

“Oh man,” he turns away and flops on his bed. “I don’t know what the fuck’s happening to me.”

“When did this happen?”

“Yesterday.”

“Did you take anything?”

“I fucking shrunk Finn.” He sinks his face into a pillow. “I don’t take anything,” he says all muffled.

I’m standing there awkwardly in the entrance to his room and I’m really no help at all because god help me if I can’t stop imagining this little diminished version of Dan being railed by the brutish Liv and I so badly wish that it was me instead. It’s as if my thoughts have some twisted power to listen and act because it’s exactly then when the front door slams shut and Liv’s voice echoes through the house.