“I’d love to eat you all up, you sweet little darling man!” wrote Louise, “In fact, I’ve got a proposition to make to you, but I want you to know all the facts first, before you give me your answer. I’ve always dated guys that I thought would taste nice after shrinking, the ones that look handsome and cute. You’re the first one that would be willing to go along with the idea. After I’d been out with you and shrunken you, I’d keep you in a cage in my bedroom, or perhaps in my kitchen where you could think about what was coming up in that room and the dining room. I’d be nice and have fun with you right up until the night I ate you. What do you think of that, before I tell you about my proposition, little man? Oh and whereabouts are you anyway? I’ll need to know where to buy that garden nearby if I’m going to chase you through it.”

February 2005, Boatstreamingin Cove, USA…

 “One of you asked who I was,” said the voice, “I’m someone whose life, hopes and dreams were destroyed by you less than four years ago…”

September 10th, 2001…

Phil Hermuth wrote back, explaining that he was an attorney’s paralegal secretary by trade and that he had prepared the following satirical legal document:

I Philip Hermuth, being of sound mind and

soon to be dramatically but certainly

shrunken body do hereby offer to Louise

 Waters the title deed to my shrunken form,

to permit the aforementioned Louise

 Waters to chase, cook, lick and gobble whole

my shrunken self at her convenience.

This offer is given for the consideration of

 a brief series of dates with me, to be

undertaken prior to shrinking me, followed

 by a brief series of dates with me, to be

undertaken after shrinking me.

…………………………………………

Philip Hermuth

…………………………………………

10th September 2001

“Dear Phil,” wrote Louise, “It was nice to receive another email from you today, and what a fun email it was. You came through for me with your legal department. Now I can go about shrinking and eating the handsome cute guy that you are.

In all seriousness though, I now want to tell you of my proposition. I am going to trust you with something you may not even believe, but if you do believe it, you’ll certainly have some important decisions to make. I could have shrunken and eaten any guy at any time in the last few years, since I invented a shrinking machine. It’s so small that it works from a ring on my finger, and the shrinking ray it fires is invisible to the human eye. This of course makes it important that I point it carefully in the right direction, when I’m going to shrink someone. I’d like to meet you, to make a believer of you, and then to quite literally go ahead and proceed with everything we’ve written about. The moment I knew where to find you, you’d be at my mercy. Like I said, I could have done it with anyone, but to me it had to be someone who reciprocated it, at least in the beginning. You’re the first and only guy who does. I doubt you could talk me out of it once you were shrunken, but I suppose you could try. It would be fun watching you beg me to let you go and restore your size, but in the end I think I would eat you up anyway, regardless of your protests. I know that asking for your address is a lot after all I’ve told you about myself, but I really hope you’ll give it to me.

All my love,

Louise.”