Approaching the bar, you smile at the blonde with short hair. She’s pretty, if not quite as beautiful as some of the other barmaids around here. Her natural blonde hair is down past her ears but not much further. She is wearing delightfully form-fitting jeans and a white t-shirt that exposes her belly that says; Goonies Never Say Die.

“Hey,” you say. “How’s your night going?”

“Not bad,” says the woman. “Name’s Kim. You want a drink?”

“Actually I was going to ask you if you were hungry,” you say.

“Sure,” says Kim. She pulls thick packet of papers out from under the counter and hands them to you, along with a pen. “Start signing buddy. When you’re done, let me know. Want a drink on the house? I always offer one to the guys I eat.”

You order a drink and she goes to make it for you. “Hey, I thought you said that you were getting me my Dark and Stormy,” says a pretty woman further down the bar with a tiny man in a bowl in front of her.

“He just agreed to be my dinner, so he gets priority for his last drink order,” says Kim testily to the other woman. You admire Kim’s pretty face and remarkably fit body as she pours your drink for you. She surrenders it with a genuine smile and a slow wink. You watch her begin to pour another drink for the other woman, then focus on your paperwork.

The form is maddeningly complex and filled with legalese.  The black lights and loud music, combined with remarkably good women eating tiny men all around you makes it impossible to concentrate. A pretty woman who is sitting next to you leaves with another guy, only to return a moment later and eat him right in front of you. As his legs are drawn into her mouth and her lips press together, hiding him from view, you decide that you’re done with your forms. You simply cannot wait to be eaten. You quickly sign and initial everything, then hand it back to Kim when you next see her.

“Alright studly. Let’s get you in my belly.”

The woman takes you by the hand and weaves through the numerous people, standing, dancing and flirting in the club to the shrink room.  At a gesture from Kim, you enter what looks to you like a phone booth type machine.  It reminds you of the one from a show you saw advertised called Doctor Who.  Kim locks the door behind you and walks over to what must be the control panel for the machine and grins at you.

“This is your last chance to back out. If you say ‘yes’ then I’m going to shrink you down and eat you alive,” says Kim in a fairly smoky voice that makes it pretty clear that she’s looking forward to this as much as you are.

“I’m all yours Kim,” you tell her.

Kim grins and presses a button. Suddenly the whole world is a flash of white.

You’re pretty disoriented for a few moments. Kim digs you out of your clothes and takes you to a private room. She does her best to hold you steady but you’re still feeling extremely dizzy. When the world finally stops spinning, you find yourself lying on a table in a dimly lit room. The only other objects in sight are a digital jukebox, a stripper pole and a chair with Kim sitting in it, watching you intently. Everything seems so disproportionately enormous it’s almost as if you’re on another planet. You shake your head and look up at the beautiful giantess who is sitting backwards in the chair, looking at you.

“Feeling better, studly?”  she asks.

“O-okay, I guess. A little disoriented.” You rub your forehead.

“Don’t worry. It’s perfectly normal. You’ll get over it pretty fast. Before you’re even in my belly, which will be pretty soon.” Kim looks at you like a six year old might look at exactly the gift they asked Santa for as it sits under the Christmas tree.

“Sounds good,” you say tentatively. “I get a song first though, don’t I?”

“Sure do, stud,” says Kim, standing up and walking to the jukebox. “How does, ‘Bang a Gong,’ by T.Rex sound?”

“Well,” you say. “I-”

“It sounds like this,” says Kim with a grin as the music begins to play. She also starts to dance, which is pretty damn hot.

“Aren’t you going to remove your Goonies shirt?” you ask hopefully. Those are some good-looking breasts she has.

“No,” Kim says. “I don’t want to tonight. And I really don’t feel beholden to someone I intend to eat. Besides, I like this shirt. Just look down here,” she pats her visible stomach. “Because you’ll be in there soon.”

Not even halfway through the song she sidles over to the table. “I can’t wait anymore,” she tells you. Then she lifts you up. “In you go stud. Nice eating you.”

You:

[Cry for mercy- (That’s not the Goonie way)] [go to chapter 63]

[Come up with a witty retort]-  [go to chapter 64]