---warning chapter contains vomit---
“Sure, why not?” you say. You sit down with the two hot blondes and pay for the next round. You talk and pound down shots for the better part of an hour. They are college students who are here for the first time. They make their excitement known by constantly screaming as the night wears on. If you weren’t already three sheets to the wind it would be annoying, but they are incredibly hot and only get hotter as the drinks keep coming.
The conversation finally comes around to why you’re here in the first place, “You should totally let one of us eat you!” Liz says, “We’re going to order a dozen tiny men,” She jumps up and down, nearly tripping over the bar stool in her excitement. Too inebriated to see any downside, you jump up to agree. You instantly feel lightheaded and have to brace yourself on the bar.
“Yeah, whoa, that was close. You know what? I’m going for it! Let’s, gnyah, let’s do this,” Jackie comes by and helps you to the machine, while the girls wait and have a few more shots, on you, of course.
“If you puke in the booth, I’m pushing the button and leaving you to drown in it,” Jackie whispers to you, still keeping her peppy smile. You try to smile back, but feel kind of queasy. She has you sign the paper again (you think) then puts you in the booth and pushes the button before you have time to puke. She obviously really isn’t in the mood to clean vomit from the machine.
Still dizzy from shrinking and the alcohol, you are placed in a bowl with five other men. Jackie has two bowls of six on a tray. She whisks them and another order of shots to the two women.
“Just like we planned, remember” Laura says. Liz nods and they both just start grabbing tiny guys and popping them into their mouths quickly. They chase each one with another drink. You are in the bowl near Laura, which is rapidly diminishing. She grabs you hastily from the bowl and groans, “I don’t, I don’t know if I can, ohh, do it,” She says. She looks a little green.
“If you’re not sure about this,” You start, trying to console her, but Liz cuts you off.
“Don’t be such a baby. Look. I already finished my whole bowl,” Liz says, lifting her bowl to demonstrate. Laura brings you to her mouth in her shaky hand. You are blasted with liquor fumes as she breaths heavily trying to steady herself.
“It’s just one more. It’s just one more,” She says as she timidly guides you into her mouth. You are encased in darkness as she groans and tosses you around with extreme difficulty. You have a bad feeling about this, but you don’t really have a say in any of it now. Arguing with a drunk chick (especially from inside her mouth) is next to impossible.
With much strain, she forces you down, with a four horsemen chaser. You forget to hold your breath as you are forced down her esophagus and receive a lungful of alcohol as well as a mouthful of a gold flake. You try to spit it out, but have no success. It is stuck in your mouth as much as you are stuck in her esophagus.
You slide down faster than you expected and land with a plop in a squirmy mass of tiny men. You are elbowed in the gut and gasp in the acidic alcohol mess. Your body is pulled to the bottom of the heap by the other struggling men who are all equally regretting their choice of activity for the night. You burn all over, inside and out. The pain is overwhelming. Just as you feel like you are about to go unconscious, you are forced violently upward. Light stings your already irritated eyes. You land with a splat on the ground with everyone else. Some of them are moving, some aren’t.
“Sorry, sorry,” Laura says as she and Liz quickly make their way to the door to get away from the staring people of the restaurant. Jackie sighs and grabs a broom, a stand up dustpan, and some kind of absorbent powder, then makes her way to the mess. Sadly you are part of the mess now and are seen as no more than an inconvenience for Jackie.
You try crying out to her, but your lungs are still flooded. You manage to cough and strain to get into a crawling position. You are hit with a handful of absorbent powder. It cakes to you and gels up on the bile and stomach acid that coats your body and the floor. She then sweeps the entire mess into the dustpan without a word and throws it in the dumpster in the back of the store. It’s not like they could resell you. Half digested bodies don’t go over well with the customers. Shortly after you are dumped in the trash you fade out from pain, never to wake up.
THE END