Chapter One

            Jed was a newbie. He was starting his first day at Seattle’s Best Coffee. He wasn’t exactly crazy about working here, but he needed the extra cash for college and it would be a good place to meet women.

            Jed was slightly below average in height standing at a whopping five foot four inches tall, short spiky black hair, a bit overweight. There wasn’t much too really draw attention to him.

            Jed headed into the Coffee shop and immediately was greeted by a blonde haired woman, about the same height as Jed. She smiled warmly at him as she pushed an apron at him. Jed stared at her for a moment before he grabbed the apron and put it on.  

            “Hi, Erin”

            “No, my name is Jed.”

            “No Erin is my name; it’s nice to meet you Jed.” Sweetly replied Erin as Jed blushed embarrassingly as he followed her behind the counter.

            “What do you know how to do?” curtly responds Erin as she hands a customer his Latte.

            “Umm, well not much, I have never been much of a coffee person.” responds Jed as he kicks and plays with his foot a bit while staring at the floor.

            The morning flew by, as people on their way to work would stop in and get something. Jed was a bit nervous at first as it was just him and Erin in the store, but he manned the counter as she made the coffees. Already they had a near flawless operation. All that changed however as eleven approached. Erin decided to go on her break leaving the store in Jed’s hands.

            Time seemed to slow as the minute hand nearly stopped as Jed was left waiting, praying that no one would come in; his wish was however not granted as the door chime sounded.

            A cute younger looking woman strode towards the counter ordering a Mocha, then informing him she would be right back as he she headed towards the bathroom. Jed watched her short brown hair swish back and forth; the dark black sunglasses which acted almost like a headband.  Jed nervously looked over at the various coffee machines. A twitch started in the pit of his stomach as Jed glanced over at her coffee order. His palms began to sweat as Jed turned on the machine. The froth from the coffee began to spill over the top of the glass. Jed howled in pain as he quickly put the lid on the cup, and stepped backwards blowing on his hand. As Jed stepped backwards he was unaware of how close he was to the cappuccino machine.

“God Damn it” Jed screamed as his back pressed against the hot cappuccino machine which caused him to whip around spilling the top shelf of imported tea’s and coffees down upon himself. Jed’s head pounded against the tiled floor as a mixture of the tea’s and coffee’s slipped into his mouth. Jed gagged several times as a sick like feeling washed over him. His body began to shake like he was having a seizure, then almost as quickly as the shaking begun it subsided, but everything looked different. Giant skyscraper sized brown boulders were littered across the landscape as far as he could see.

            “Excuse me? Sir?” the voice rolled across the land like cracks of thunder soaring across the midnight sky. Jed looked up unable to see her at all. The counter was much too high.

            “Hello” The floor began to shake as seismic rumbles caused the brown skyscrapers to shift from left the right. Jed couldn’t believe what his eyes were telling him. The enormous black buffalo shoes came stomping into view. Jed watched in fear as her left foot easily dwarfed the brown skyscraper sized coffee and tea grounds that were littered across the floor.  Jed turned quickly realizing the gravity of the situation. He looked back as her foot lifted up off the ground sending a gusting wind across the floor nearly knocking him to the ground. His heart was beating like a piston as the coffee and tea grounds were completely crushed by Erin’s now impressive tonnage.

            “ERIN!!” Jed screamed as her black buffalo shoes passed over him. The coffee and tea grounds rained down around Jed. He dove to the floor covering his head as the ground quivered like a baby’s lower lip. Jed cried out in pain as several off the coffee grounds beat down on him. He started to cough up blood as the boulder sized coffee grounds continue to rain down upon him.

            The world around him settled a bit allowing Jed to look up. His eyes traced the body of Erin as far as he could see. Jed gulped as her bright white socks hugged her ankles; which look to be a good thousand feet up. Jed couldn’t even see past her knees.

            “Thank you, Come again mam” said Erin. Her voice rumbled across the floor. Jed found himself unable to even make out what she was saying. All he could hear was the garbled gibberish which made up the words.

            “Jed! Where are you” said Erin as Jed covered his ears wishing that he could somehow make out what she was saying. Jed bit down on his tongue and managed a few choice words at his inability to understand what Erin was saying.

            Jed watched in fear as her foot rose up off the ground and stomped down in the same place.  Erin than started in motion carelessly walking through the spilled coffee and tea, Jed shouted Erin’s name once again even though he knew it was fruitless.

            What am I going to do Jed thought to himself as he wiped the blood from his face and started to stand up.  His nerves begin to settle in as he looked around at this new giant world. What am I going to do? How am I going to survive? Where am I going to live? Thousands of similar thoughts rush through his mind.

            A flash of movement caught the corner of his eye. Jed darted his head in that direction as a wall of what looked like pasta noodles attached to wooden block appeared. Jed stared at it confused for a second and then the word broom screamed through his mind. Jed looked around at his surroundings and saw nothing but the massive coffee and tea grounds. Jed needed to get out of here he thought to himself.

            The broom soared over head and crashed down into the floor sending him to the ground. Jed attempted to stand back up but the bristles of the broom quickly over took him. They sent him skidding along the dirt ridden the floor until Jed ended up in a pile of coffee grounds. He coughed a few times and spit up trying to get the coffee taste out of his mouth.

            Jed watched in fear as the broom circled around at dizzying speeds.  Jed could hardly comprehend which way the broom was coming from. Everything was moving in a blur as coffee and tea was sent hurdling into him from every direction. By the time Jed turned his head around in the direction that the tea and coffee grounds were hitting him in, more were coming at him from other side. Jed finally ducked down pushing his head into his lap as the onslaught continued for what seems like hours.

            The horrendous beating finally stopped. Jed dug his way out of the large pile of coffee and tea. As his head poked above the pile the looming figure of Erin stood over head, her entire hulking frame begun to lower, her knees hung over him like an awning as a slanted metal wall crashed down on his left. Jed recognized the object as dust pan but it was miles upon miles in width alone. Jed glance to his right as Erin sent a small brush sweeping towards him.

            “No!” Jed screamed as he put his hands up futilely. The brush sent him sliding along with the skyscraper sized coffee and tea grounds flying into the dust pan. A hard thud coursed through his body as his head impacted the metal dust pan dizzying him as Jed felt the blood drip from down over his eyes. Jed reached for his hand wiping it across his forehead. He looked at his hand shocked to see his own blood. He drifted into unconsciousness before Erin sent another heap of coffee grounds over him.