THE IRON METTAGIANT
(AUTHOR'S NOTE: This story is a non-profit tribute/parody to the classic 1999 animated film The Iron Giant and takes place in a slight alteration of the Littletale AU from Undertale.)
CHAPTER 1
It was just an average, stormy summer night in the vast, shimmering, deep blue sea of Waterfall as the local team of Tem sailors struggled to keep their pitiful little sailboats afloat amidst the brutal, nonstop cavalcade of rushing, violent waves that riddled the surface of the water.
"TEM NEEDS HELP!" all of the Tems screamed loudly in unison, flailing their arms about wildly and hopping up and down like overexcited rabbits as their boats rapidly approached the lighthouse while still tossing and turning from the sheer force and magnitude of the waves.
"Ooh, what's that over THERE?!" the Tems squealed with joy as the ominous, menacing, glowy-eyed silhouette of a colossal, towering, massively fabulous robot came into view amidst the blaring yellow rays of the lighthouse.
"..." the robot anticlimactically sighed as he just walked away without a trace, leaving all of the Temmies scratching their heads in confusion and wondering what had just happened.
"Tem have no idea what the point of all that was, but something tells me we should call the local military about this!" the captain Temmie, who looked exactly the same as all of the others for some reason, chuckled as he pulled out his cell phone and dialed General Asgore's number.
"What is it, Colonel Temsworth?" Asgore picked up the ringing phone in his throne room amd asked while the Temmies finally reached the lighthouse, exhaustedly jumped out of their boats and chaotically scrambled their way back up onto shore like an untamed herd of wild sheep.
"EMERGENCY IN WATERFALL; I REPEAT, EMERGENCY IN TEM TOWN!" Temsworth yelled at the top of his lungs through the phone, accidentally spitting all over Asgore's ear in the process.
"Sigh...whatever could it be THIS time?" Asgore groaned as he cleaned off his ear with a handkerchief and rested his opposite cheek on his hand in boredom while all of the Temmies ran around in circles and repeatedly yodeled the word "MAYDAY" like there was no tomorrow.
"Whatever it is, we can confirm that it's very shiny, very metallic and very big!" Temsworth explained, taking a brief glance behind himself and immediately rolling his eyes as all of his fellow Tem sailors exhaustedly collapsed onto the ground and fell asleep in a big fluffy pile.
"And worst of all, IT'S EVEN ALIVE! May God have mercy on our poor, unfortunate SOULS!" Temworth's mentally retarded second-in-command, Temfoil Hat, literally screamed his head off through the phone as he then immediately began blindly chasing after it so that he could pick it back up and cartoonishly screw it back onto his neck with the tinfoil hat still firmly glued onto it.
"Um...I beg your pardon, but where exactly IS your proof of such a thing as giant alien robots from another planet existing?" Asgore groaned, facepalming himself in disappointment while Temfoil whipped out his iPad and tweeted an evidential photo of the beast straight to him.
"OH...oh, MY...well, all I can say is, I sincerely doubt that something THAT realistic-looking was Photoshopped, even if we ARE talking about the Undertale fandom here!" Asgore gasped in surprise, flinching backward in his chair and hanging his jaw open in disbelief as the intimidatingly towering shadow of the Underground's largest new resident was revealed to him.
"Oh, believe me, I can ASSURE you it wasn't!" Asgore's up-and-coming new undercover agent, the (magically) fully-grown adult form of his son Asriel Dreemurr, rolled his eyes, sarcastically sneered with a chuckling smirk and took a seat right next to Asgore while the latter glared irritatedly at him.
"Anyway, AS I WAS SAYING..." Asgore growled frustratedly at Asriel while the latter nervously backed off and did the jazz hands in response, "...what type of name do you boys think would be considered most inherently suitable to assign to such a frighteningly massive man-made colossus?"
"How about METATON? Because he's...like...really big and uh...like, weighs a lot and stuff?" Temsworth chuckled awkwardly over the phone, scratching the back of his head and sweating embarrassedly.
"Wow, I didn't think you bunch of numbnuts even knew what such a word MEANT in the first damned place!" Asgore laughed uproariously, clutching his chest and nearly falling over backward in his chair while Asriel gave him a snickering high-five of sickeningly smug approval.
"Well, since those things obviously can't spell worth a flying freak, I say how's about we just change the name to Mettaton, with two T's?" Asriel asked his father curiously, putting his hand on his shoulder and looking into his glimmering, crystal-clear eyes intently.
"WHY?" Asgore groaned, shrugging his shoulders dejectedly as he hung up the phone.
"Because it makes the name...like...look, uh, COOLER and stuff?" Asriel blushed, stammered and shrugged awkwardly while Asgore disdainfully shot him an "are you freaking serious" look.
"Uh-huh." Asgore sighed, double-facepalming himself in shame while Asriel turned toward the entrance door and walked right out of the room, leaving Asgore alone to fend for his own interests.
"ASRIEL?" Asgore called Asriel a few minutes later over the phone, systematically scanning over his trusty tactical map of the Underground on Google Earth as he eagerly awaited his son's reponse.
"Yes, Father?" Asriel, who was already out on the prowl in search of the incredibly handsome fifty-foot behemoth that was Mettaton's former self at the time, smugly responded as he flew over to Snowdin Town, where Toriel's recently built woodland foster home was located.
"BEGIN THE HUNT!" Asgore coldly and bitterly whispered through the phone as his son finally reached the local Snowed Inn and booked himself a nice, warm stay for the night.
The next day in the surprisingly warm and autumn-leaved (since after all, it WAS summer at the moment...which for this place was still basically autumn) town of Snowdin, Alphys and all of her dear beloved friends (including Undyne, of course) were busy attending middle school together and discussing random crap with each other at one of the many outdoor lunch tables right behind the cafeteria...such as all of the weird and crazy things that had recently happened to them, for instance.
"Alright, so get this: I just recently asked our history teacher Toriel out on a date, and would you BELIEVE what she told me back? Why, she straight-up told me I wasn't BIG-BONED enough yet!" Sans laughed uproariously with the obligatory crap-eating grin on his face as he took a huge bite out of his Snickers ice-cream bar and jokingly smeared it all over his face like lipstick.
"I really wish you were joking, big brother; I really, REALLY do!" Papyrus shrugged and sighed somewhat annoyedly, rolling his eyes and shakng his head disapprovingly as he meekly twirled his spaghetti into his fork and reluctantly slurped the noodles down in dismay.
"So wait a minute, let me get this straight; you're telling me that the so-called LAWS, or whatever the hell you're supposed to call them, of monster society allow mere 18-year-old kids to engage in romantic relationships with one of the ten-freaking-THOUSAND-year-old rulers of the kingdom, the other being Asgore?!" Undyne gasped in horror, burying her head in her mashed potatoes and screaming for dear life in disgust while Alphys gently patted her on the back.
"There, there now..." Alphys sighed, trying not to think about all of the incredibly kinky things that she was already beginning to rapidly develop the urge to do with Asgore and Toriel despite being only a measly twelve years old at the moment as she lovingly stroked Undyne's fish ears and teasingly played with her adorably ponytailed fish hair.
"Yup! You betcha!" Sans laughed and shrugged, shoving the straws to his exactly two milk cartons right up his nose so that they stuck out like bamboo shoots. "Does THIS look unsure to you?" he chuckled smugly as he emptied out several ketchup packets into his mouth and shot out their contents through his nose to show his reaction to Toriel's recent sudden advance on him.
"Gee WHIZ, Sans, how freaking childish can you GET?" Papyrus yelled frustratedly at Sans, raising his palm into the air and smacking his big brother across the face.
"Sweet, eerie bone-rattling ME, Papyrus, YOU sure are one to talk!" Sans laughed heartily as he magically produced one of his classified secret photo albums showing the myriad of coloring books, anime action figures, children's storybooks, race cars (including his bed) and diabetes-inducingly adorable stuffed animals (many of them Undertale characters) littering Papyrus' room.
"WAIT A MINUTE...is that...is that an Alphys SCALEMATE?! Oh my god, it's so...freaking...CUUUUUUTE!" Undyne covered her mouth and squealed with pure unbridled joy, unable to hide her inner Homestuck fangirl syndrome any longer while Alphys just rolled her eyes and facepalmed herself for probably at least the third or fourth time that day.
"Yes, Undyne, you don't need to remind me for the ZILLIONTH freaking time that I'm the cutest goddamned thing in the Underground; I already GET it!" Alphys sighed and shook her head in disgust.
"Guess you could say that the two of us grew up under a horribly severe lack of MATURNITY! And no, that wasn't a typo in the script either, I ACTUALLY MADE THAT FREAKING JOKE OUT LOUD IN PUBLIC!" Sans laughed uproariously, slapping Papyrus on the back so hard that he accidentally coughed up a very sharp-ended chicken bone right into Alphys' wide-open mouth just as she was preparing to lift up her massive hamburger and eat half of the entire thing in one measly bite, causing her face to turn blue and start sweating intensely as she dropped her hamburger in a huge mess of ingredients all over the table, clutched her throat and toppled over onto the ground, rolling frantically back and forth as she desperately choked and gasped for air.
"ALPHYS, MY SWEET KAWAII DARLING, NO!" Undyne screamed in a fit of panic as she jumped onto Alphys' belly with all of her 110-pound might, causing the poor girl to violently puke out Papyrus' chicken bone sharp-end-first straight into Undyne's unsuspecting left eye while Sans and Papyrus engaged in a furiously raging fistfight with other to settle their...differences, so to speak.
"Papyrus, for crying out loud, don't you know that there are countless other ways to TACKLE your personal problems with other people?" Sans groaned and laughed smugly as Papyrus tackled him face-up onto the ground and attempted several times to punch him in the face.
"Ha, you really think I'm just gonna lay here and TAKE it?" Sans snickered as he teasingly used his magic powers to bend and teleport himself right around (and occasionally even right through) each and every single one of Papyrus' punches as if they were literally nothing.
"Sans, for the love of God, do you REALLY want me to end up having to shove this fourty-eight-inch-long BONE up your sphincter?!" Papyrus angrily threatened Sans, brandishing his bone club and seething with fake rage as if he was actually seriously considering doing such a thing.
"I know you are, but what am I?" Sans winked teasingly at Papyrus, summoning a rainbow-striped surrender flag and waving it right in his big little brother's ambiguously gay face.
"Sans, I'll have you know that I am a GREAT many things; however, one thing I am most definitely NOT is GAAAAAAAAAY!" Papyrus roared melodramatically at the tops of his lungs, kneeling down onto his knees and shaking his fists angrily at the so-called sky as he did so.
"OH GOD, IT HURTS, IT HURTS, IT HURRRTS!" Undyne shrieked in agonizing pain while Alphys tried with all of her scrawny and pathetic might to yank the chicken bone out of her aching, bleeding eye.
"I'm sorry, Undyne, but it would appear that this chicken bone has gotten stuck deep within your retina, and therefore, whenever I try to pull it out, it only makes the problem even WORSE!" Alphys gasped in horror while Undyne prayed to God for the pain to just finally end already.
"Oh dear God, what are we going to DO?!" Undyne screamed in terror, realizing that the school nurse and her affiliates were currently on vacation at the Dreemurr Resort in Hotland, drinking smoothies and bathing in hot tubs while all of the other staff members worked their skin off (literally, in Gaster's case).
"Undyne, I'm sorry I don't have any anaesthetics or painkillers on hand, but please just try your hardest to hold still while I do this!" Alphys sobbed empathetically as she grabbed a metal spork from her magical coat pockets, dug into Undyne's left eye socket with it and began using it to violently sever the slimy, fleshy cord that was clearly connecting the eyeball itself to her brain.
"OH GOD, SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME! MOMMY! DADDY! ANYONE!" Undyne screamed and cried for help while Alphys finally finished cutting out her eyeball, causing blood-red liquid dust to spray out in copious amounts from the remaining cord-stump, which then subsequently caused Undyne to pass out and faint onto the ground with the dust still trickling down the left side of her face.
"It's been one of those days..." Alphys shrugged and sighed dejectedly as she took her new eyeball-on-a-bone-stick and straight-up ate Undyne's eyeball right off of it; luckily, everyone else had already left the cafeteria and moved on to the next period, so no one else actually had to see that happen.
"Mmm, tastes like chicken!" Alphys laughed as she chewed the eye up and swallowed it, immediately letting out a disgustingly loud burp and rubbing her growling stomach afterward.
Giantess World
Story Notes:
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters and settings from Undertale and Iron Giant belong exclusively to their respective owners, and this story is a strictly non-profit fanwork with no intention of infringing upon or making any money off of the original copyright.
Undertale and The Iron Giant belong to Brad Bird (1999) and Toby Fox (2015).
Undertale and The Iron Giant belong to Brad Bird (1999) and Toby Fox (2015).