TIMG: CHAPTER 12
Surprisingly enough, as Alphys and Undyne (and Burgerpants) disembarked from Burgerpants' car, they saw that everything was still in pretty much normal condition considering how completely and utterly insane of a day-to-day life Burgerpants had...well, aside from Mettaton having already eaten just about all of Burgerpants' scrap and even a little bit of his art, that is.
"Alright, gals, so here's the deal; so far, having Mettaton as my pet has actually gone surprisingly well, but almost all of my scrap metal is gone now! Soon enough, there'll be nothing even left for him to eat, AND WE REALLY WOULDN'T WANT THAT SH*T F%#&ING HAPPENING, NOW WOULD WE?!" Burgerpants suddenly grabbed Asriel's body out of the car, opened up his earflap and screamed at the top of his lungs directly into his ear; so loudly, in fact, that it literally shattered his eardrum into a whole myriad of bloody, jagged pieces.
"Jesus freaking CHRIST, dude; what the hell was THAT for?!" Alphys and Undyne both yelled disgustedly at Burgerpants, throwing their arms out to their sides in a "dude, seriously, what the actual f$%&" type of gesture as Burgerpants pointed to the two of them with one index finger and gave Asriel a wet willie with the other; sure enough, Asriel was somehow STILL asleep as Burgerpants lifted him up over his shoulder, carried him into his still-just-as-creepy-as-ever freaking sex dungeon of a house and then finally took him straight down the elevator into the cold, dark, BDSM-infested basement with Alphys and Undyne following along behind him.
"WOW...what IS this freaking disgusting, scary-ass place?!" Alphys and Undyne gasped in slightly horrified amazement as they feasted their eyes upon the countless types of bondage-fetish equipment that the entire dimly-lit underground sex cavern of a room was littered with.
"Kids, please just trust me on this one: you REALLY don't wanna know what's going on inside my head!" Burgerpants warned them, waving his index finger at them in a "no-no" gesture as him and his adorable new friends reluctantly trudged over numerous ball gags and bondage suits, trying their hardest to avoid stepping in the numerous cum stains that were all over the floor as Burgerpants finally reached the vertical bondage table that was located in roughly the center of the room, stripping Asriel completely naked and locking his neck, wrists and ankles tightly into said table's metal cuff-rings.
"What does that have to do with anything...OH...OH, YES...F%#&, YES...I'VE BEEN WAITING SUCH A PAINSTAKINGLY LONG TIME FOR AN OPPORTUNITY LIKE THIS!" Alphys ominously hissed and whispered to herself in a fit of intense sudden realization as Burgerpants lifted up the outer flap of Asriel's ear and beckoned rather politely for the two of them to enter inside while Undyne awkwardly backed away from both of them and did the jazz hands in response.
"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, you can't seriously be for real right now, BECAUSE THIS IS JUST TOO FREAKING PERFECT!" Alphys squealed almost orgasmically, kneeling down onto her hands and knees and crying tears of pure, uncondensed joy while Undyne merely covered her eyes with her hands and stuck her tongue out in disgust at the mere thought of doing such a thing.
"Don't MIND if I do!" Alphys laughed wholeheartedly as she pulled her shrink ray out of her pocket and zapped both herself and Undyne with it, shrinking both of them to practically microscopic size.
"Wow, what are THESE?!" Undyne gasped in wonderment as Alphys pulled out a pair of cell phones from her pockets and transformed them both into jetpacks as the two of them each strapped exactly one onto their backs and flew up into the cold and stinky and ever-so-clammy air, heading straight for Asriel's wide-open ear and flying right into his ear canal as the poor utterly despicable yet weirdly lovable boy's sleeping medicine finally began to wear off.
"EWW! Good GOD, this is so freaking GROSS! Seriously, if there's ANYTHING that THIS knucklehead needs in his ears, it's probably going to have to be a freaking SWAB...and a very, VERY long and cleansing one at that!" Undyne turned very green around the gills and nearly puked in disgust as she and Alphys witnessed (and bobbed and weaved their way past) the thriving colony of miniature aphids living in Asriel's revoltingly grotesque formations of slimy, oozing, dripping earwax...as well as the absolutely repugnant smell that the wax itself gave off.
"Oh dear sweet Lucifer, I think I'm going to be SICK!" Alphys moaned in absolute revulsion, pulling an extra-large-sized Ziploc bag out of her pocket and violently throwing up into it as she and Undyne finally made it past Asriel's eardrum (well, at least all of the hazardously sharp and horribly damaged broken shards of it, that is) and made their way deep into his inner ear!
"Man, just RELAX, kid! It'll all be over in a second...or at least as soon as they finish reducing your mental faculties into those of a freaking CARROT, that is!" Burgerpants slapped his knee and laughed uproariously as he got out a whip from the plastic see-through box that just so happened to be lying around on the floor right next to him and began harshly flogging Asriel with it.
"Alright, let's see here...first, we go this way...then that way...then this-a-way...then that-a-way..." Alphys rambled to herself as she pulled out her iPhone and used its Google Anatomy app's GPS feature to navigate her way through the mazelike tunnels of Asriel's inner ear while Undyne reluctantly and somewhat unsurely followed along behind her.
"A-HA! HERE WE GO! FINALLY!" Undyne laughed as she and Alphys finally reached the end of the maze and found themselves standing in front of a rather suspiciously cracked wall of skull bone, causing Undyne to devilishly smirk as she suddenly had a brilliant spear-related idea!
"AFTER YOU!" Alphys teasingly ushered Undyne in with a sly wink as the fish warrior magically transformed her energy spear into an energy sledgehammer and smashed the bone-barrier into pieces, causing Asriel to shriek and cry loudly in pain as the two of them made their way through the resulting hole and finally reached the humble abode of his surprisingly large brain!
"Oh, don't be such a baby; SANITY grows back!" Burgerpants chuckled dementedly as he climbed onto the table and began fervently licking the blood out of Asriel's whip wounds.
"NO, IT FREAKING DOESN'T!" Asriel yelled infuriatedly at Burgerpants as he suddenly felt the remarkably unsettling and terrifying sensation of not one but TWO mentally deranged, highly intelligent, heavily armed and vengeance-seeking insects climbing onto his poor, poor brain!
"Alright, he's officially totally defenseless and helpless now...OH SWEET JESUS, so many wonderful opportunities for revenge; where the hell do I even START?!" Alphys laughed dementedly as she and Alphys reached the very top of Asriel's brain and got down on their hands and knees.
"Oh, I think I know a REAL good way to f%#& with this bastard's head right about now!" Undyne laughed insanely and raised her eyebrows suggestively at the audience as she pulled down her pants while Alphys reluctantly unbuttoned her lab coat, revealing the fact that both of them somehow had penises despite very clearly being girls as they both...ahem...udderly swallowed their pride.
(SCENE MISSING; WE VERY DEARLY DO NOT APOLOGIZE FOR THE INCONVENIENCE.)
"OHH...sweet monkey-humping, fish-f%#&ing son of Neptune himself, that felt SO GOOD..." Undyne moaned with orgasmic delight, still fried into a literal anthropomorphic fishstick from how incredibly hard she had just accidentally electrocuted herself as she retracted her soft, veiny and scaly fish penis from within the wrinkly, spongy folds of Asriel's cerebral cortex, deliberately showing off her massive resulting strand of cum to the audience.
"It's just like one of my Japanese ANIMES!" Alphys (who had also accidentally electrocuted hself into a charred and cartoonishly still-alive crisp in the exact same manner) squealed with delight, retracting her even softer, veinier and scalier dinosaur penis from the outer neural network of Asriel's brain and licking up her very own resulting massive strand of cum with her ridiculously long tongue.
"Good heavens, Alphys, what the f%#& do you WATCH?!" Undyne gagged in disgust, shooting Alphys a distinctly "dude, WTF is wrong with you" look as the two of them hid their dicks back in their clothes and readied themselves for one of the most important parts of the entire process.
"GERONIMO!" Alphys and Undyne both laughed with delight as they literally dived right into Asriel's brain!
"GAAAHAHAHAHA! AIEEEHEHEHEHE!" Asriel screamed and laughed maniacally, clutching his head in pain as the wholly unwelcome intruders passed right through his outer nerve tissue and conveniently landed right in his control room while he helplessly trembled and cried in terror.
"Oh, come on, what are you so afraid of? As long as you've still got someone like ME to keep you company, I can pretty much assure that everything will be perfectly ALRIGHT! So please just stay calm, relax, and let my wonderful feline mouth do its work on you!" Burgerpants laughed and cried dementedly, kneeling downward and gently placing his lips around the poor kid's penis, causing Asriel to moan loudly in pleasure as Burgerpants began passionately sucking on its veiny, spongy, shafty goodness and teasing over it with his tongue.
"So, how does it FEEL, Asriel? How does it FEEL knowing that we basically freaking OWN this place now?!" Undyne yelled angrily as she pulled off her boots and teasingly walked barefoot across the incredibly sensitive and delicate inner surface of Asriel's nerve tissue, causing him to weep in pain.
"What's the MATTER, sweetie? These toenails of ours a bit too SHARP for your freaking dull-as-sh*t majesty?" Alphys playfully teased Asriel as she and Undyne finally reached Asriel's frontal lobe, with the former immediately taking her seat at his central control supercomputer and hacking into its surprisingly extensive databanks while Undyne set her shoes down right next to the computer, put on a welding mask and began climbing up the wall, so to speak; yes, she still had her jetpack and everything, but for the time being, considering the type of person that she and Alphys were dealing with, she just wanted to do this in the most deliberately painful way possible.
"Wow, Undyne, how are you able to STICK like that?" Alphys gasped in amazement as Undyne literally walked right up the wall.
"HARD WORK AND DETERMINATION!" Undyne roared triumphantly, causing Alphys to shudder somewhat in fear as the fish lady reached the ceiling of Asriel's brain and found a disturbingly large number of broken purple wires.
"Um, Undyne? I THINK that the purple wires are actually the ones that handle his conscientious thoughts and his ability to show monster decency towards other people, so I would STRONGLY advise repairing them!" Alphys informed Undyne over the phone as she immediately grabbed a pair of broken ends and got right to work.
"HRRRGH! RAWRRR! HNNNGH!" Undyne grunted cheesily as she forced the wires back together with her bare hands, her burning passion alone somehow being enough to weld them back into one piece again.
"You know, I'm actually kind of starting to feel really BAD for these two right now..." Asriel sobbed and sniffled, wincing in pain as Undyne crawled all over the inside of his brain with her razor-sharp fingernails and toenails in tow on a quest to repair all the rest of his broken conscience wires while Burgerpants began violently biting and twisting the poor boy's nipples.
"Oh, and as for all of that KNOWLEDGE you stole from me, I think I'll just steal all of that sh*t right BACK and be on my merry way, thank you very LITTLE!" Alphys sneered angrily as she selected all of the Mettaton-related memory files that Asriel had stolen from her, stuck her finger into the DOWNLOAD socket and effectively stole every single one of them right back!
"All right, that's all of the wires taken care of!" Undyne laughed, putting her hands on her hips and posing triumphantly while Alphys just stared at her and blinked absentmindedly.
"So, what's next?" Undyne asked Alphys eagerly, putting her boots back on and glaring distrustingly at her as the lizard lady pulled out George Michael's WHAM album from her pockets and smirked a very profoundly evil and malicious smirk, licking her lips excitedly in the process.
"Heh heh heh...let's practice DANCING!" Alphys cackled evilly as she inserted the album CD into Asriel's disk drive, pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and dialed up Burgerpants.
"Hey there, munchkin, what's up? What do you need from me?" Burgerpants asked Alphys over the phone, prompting the lizard lady to then maliciously, ominously whisper her diabolical new plan into his ear through the phone...a plan that caused him (yes, HIM) to flinch backward and raise his eyebrows in shock!
"Well, okay...if you say so, I guess..." Burgerpants sighed as he finally loosened Asriel's shackles and freed him from the table, prompting him to then immediately hoist Burgerpants over his shoulder, take him right back up the elevator and into his disgusting bedroom, and then (last but not least) forcefully dress him up against his will into his Princess Peach costume!
"Um...Alphys? You're not planning to publicly HUMILIATE and embarrass us in freaking PUBLIC, are you?" Burgerpants asked Alphys terrifiedly over the phone, his knees quaking in fear and anxiety while Asriel deployed a magical music-video camera into the air and took him gently by the shoulders; meanwhile, there Alphys and Undyne were, deep inside Asriel's brain, drooling at the mouth like the absolutely rabid and downright completely batsh*t-insane yaoi fangirls that they were as Alphys selected the song Careless Whisper from the album, hit the PLAY button and immediately began dancing romantically with Undyne while Asriel and Burgerpants began doing the exact same with each other, all while the world's sexiest saxophone solo blared loudly through the air.
"I feel so unsure, as I take your hand and lead you to the dance floor!" Burgerpants whispered sexily as he and Asriel proposed marriage to each other and french-kissed wetly and sloppily in the middle of the public church while everyone in the audience cringed and winced in disgust.
"As the music dies, something in your eyes...calls to mind a silver screen, and all its sad goodbyes!" Asriel sang as he and Burgerpants hugged each other and rolled back and forth together on top of their queen-sized bed.
"I'm never gonna dance again; guilty feet have GOT no rhythm! Though it's easy to pretend, I know you're not a fool!" Burgerpants sang as he and Asriel laid atop a public commemorative pedestal for Sans' dead grandmother Ariel and gave each other the footjobs of their lives.
"I should have known better than to cheat a friend, and waste the chance that I'D been given; so I'm never gonna dance again, the way I danced with YOO-OOO-OOU!" Asriel sang as he and Burgerpants curled up in fetal positions together and buttraped each other inside of the literal womb of creation.
"Time can never mend...the CARELESS WHISPERS of a good friend!" Burgerpants sang as he and Asriel interlocked each other's hands together and twirled about merrily in the woods, then lovingly bent each other backwards and smooched each other while Alphys and Undyne hid behind a nearby bush and excitedly watched through binoculars with their left hands while furiously masturbating with their rights.
"To the heart and mind, ignorance is kind! There's no comfort in the truth; pain is ALL you'll find!" Asriel cried as he was shipped to Burgerpants in the mail as his Flowey form by Toriel as his obligatory botanic dating gift, causing Burgerpants to then immediately cradle the poor flower in his arms, kneel down onto his knees and bawl his ever-loving eyes out in the middle of the very same street of New York City that the mailbox was located on.
"I'm never gonna dance again; guilty feet have GOT no rhythm! Though it's easy to pretend, I know you're not a fool!" Burgerpants sang as he and Asriel ran right through an anti-gay parade in Times Square and got violently pelted with orange peels, rotten tomatoes and picket signs.
"I should have known better than to cheat a friend, and waste the chance that I'D been given! So I'm never gonna dance again, the way I danced with YOU, OHHHHHH!" Asriel sang as he and Burgerpants lovingly molested each other in the shower of their fancy first-class apartment.
"Never without your LOVE..." Burgerpants gently wrapped his arm around Asriel, nibbled on his ear and whispered lovingly into it as he seductively turned the crank and shut the shower off, prompting the two of them to then sexily, steamingly, nakedly walk out of the bathroom together while holding each other's hands as the sexophone solo blared through the air yet again, serving as the audio cue for a massive light-speed montage of all of the different times that the two of them had engaged in hot, steaming sexual intercourse with each other.
"Tonight the music SEEMS so loud! I wish that we could LOSE this crowd!" Asriel sang as he and Burgerpants drove at blistering speed through New York City together in hot pursuit by the police in the latter's diamond-studded Cadillac, with several purple rubber dildos spilling out of the back trunk and causing the poilce cars to spin out and crash all over the place.
"Maybe it's BETTER this way; we'd hurt each other with the things we want to SAY!" Burgerpants sang as he and Asriel drove up a blocked-off wooden construction ramp, converted the car into an airplane and flew off to Hawaii at the speed of sound itself.
"We could have been so good together! We could have lived this dance forever!" Asriel sang as he strapped a metric crapload dynamite onto himself, unlocked his passenger door and skydived thousands of feet right out of it with an active volcano right beneath him!
"But NOW who's gonna dance with me? PLEASE STAY!" Burgerpants cried as he tried desperately to catch Asriel in mid-flight...but to no avail, since he teleported right out of the way on literally each and every single attempt, shedding gentle suicidal tears as he fell directly into the crater-hole on top of the volcano, causing the entire thing to explode into smithereens!
"I'm never gonna dance again; guilty feet have GOT no rhythm! Though it's easy to pretend, I know you're not a fool!" Burgerpants cried as he literally danced and did the moonwalk on top of Asriel's grave, the poor boy's ghost dancing with him.
"I should have known better than to cheat a friend, and waste the chance that I'D been given! So I'm never gonna dance again, the way I danced with YOU, OHHHHHHHH!" Asriel's ghost sang as he lovingly jerked off to his own precious memories of his fifteen seconds of romantic fame with Burgerpants and shot out his ectoplasmic, ghastly seed all over his own grave as a direct result.
"(Now that you're gone...) NOOOW that you're gone..." Burgerpants sang sorrowfully as Mettaton lifted the poor cat up into the palms of his hands while he groveled miserably and gently bawled his eyes out while clutching a wilted batch of sunflowers in his hand.
"(Now that you're gone...) Was what I did so WRONG...so WRONG?! That you had to LEAVE me alone?!" Burgerpants wailed and cried hysterically, pounding his fists and feet on the metallic floor as the giant lowered him down onto a beautiful patch of sunflowers, where he then proceeded to have a nervous breakdown and begin ferociously shoving the flowers into his mouth and eat them until he died of food poisoning; angered by the poor man's actions, the nearby swarms of bees then proceeded to sting the head of his dead body in a cumulative effort, causing said head to swell up like a balloon and therefore sending him floating straight up into the sun.
Giantess World
