TIMG: CHAPTER 13
Meanwhile in real life, however, outside of the music video that was somehow being magically produced by the camera (not to mention Burgerpants' utterly demented and delirious LSD fantasies), all that was really happening was that Asriel and Burgerpants were very awkwardly and embarrassedly dancing together in the middle of a forest while Alphys and Undyne pretty much did the exact same thing inside of the former's brain; oh, and on a semi-related side note, Mettaton also learned how to dance!
"DANCE..." Mettaton whispered thunderingly and boomingly to himself as he twirled around on his tiptoes and accidentally tripped right over onto a nearby tree, knocking over several other rotten trees right behind that one in a domino effect so that the last of the exactly three trees involved in said domino effect coincidentally(?) fell right into Snowdin's largest bonfire, causing the entire forest to suddenly go up and ablaze in flames as the song concluded itself with Asriel tightly hugging Burgerpants with one arm and shoving the other one right up the poor man's pantyless skirt to lovingly fondle his testicles while also french-kissing him at the same time.
"AHH, that was so beautiful..." Alphys and Undyne moaned together as they finally removed their fingers from each other's vaginas, redressed themselves and looked at the computer monitor to see through Asriel's very own eyes whether or not anything had gone horribly wrong outside in the forest.
"OH GOD, FOREST FIRE, FOREST FIRE! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" Burgerpants and Asriel (as well as Alphys and Undyne) both screamed in unison, hugging each other tightly for comfort and trembling in terror as the blazing forest fire continued to spread even wider by the minute.
"WAIT, GUYS, I THINK WE HAVE AN IDEA!" Alphys and Undyne yelled through Asriel's speech microphone while Asriel wet himself (and Burgerpants drank it, of course, because why not?).
"And what would THAT be, may I ask?" Burgerpants asked them teasingly as he got out his makeup mirror from his purse and applied a ridiculous amount of eyeliner, eyeshadow, lipstick and foundation onto his face, popping and licking his lips and glaring seductively at Asriel.
"Well, you COULD get out of my freaking HEAD, for one!" Asriel growled sternly at the two of them, crossing his arms over his chest and tapping his foot on the ground somewhat irritatedly.
"Been there, done that!" Alphys and Undyne laughed as they flew right out of his nose, grew themselves back to normal size, gave each other high-fives and then finally hugged and cuddled each other lovingly while Asriel groaned, shrugged and rolled his eyes dejectedly in response.
"So, girls; are you going to tell me what the PLAN is here, or what?" Burgerpants asked the two of them curiously as he suggestively smacked his lips at Asriel, who glared soul-piercingly at him in response while Alphys whispered her new emergency plan into Undyne's ear fin!
"Alright, get this: we take the water in the nearby lake, drop a really REALLY big rock into it, and PUSH it somewhere else!" Undyne explained, gesturing out each incredibly simplistic step with her hands.
"ROCK?" Mettaton asked curiously as he suddenly came over and sat down right next to them with a colossal metallic THUD, causing everyone in the general vicinity to jump in surprise.
"Hmm...you know what? This idea is so freaking crazy that given the type of universe WE live in, it just might actually WORK!" Asriel suddenly realized in a fit of pure joy, jumping up and down merrily like a little bunny rabbit and adorably squeezing Alphys and Undyne in his arms like little plush toys while Mettaton scooped up all four of his new friends onto his shoulders and carried them through the burning forest clearing behind Burgerpants' house to the massive nearby lake that Alphys and Undyne had previously been referring to, also known as Lake Totalinotaplodevice.
A FEW MINUTES LATER...
"Alright, kids, have fun!" Burgerpants, who was still just as ridiculously crossdressed as before, sighed dejectedly as he got out one of his favorite porn magazines, summoned his lawnchair and kicked back on it as he eagerly flipped the magazine open and crossed his legs effeminately while Alphys, Undyne and Asriel reluctantly walked out onto the lake's twenty-foot diving cliff, with Mettaton eagerly and excitedly backing up into the very same forest clearing that he had entered through and waiting for the three of them to finally perform their dives.
"Man, this bathing suit REALLY chafes!" Undyne whined annoyingly as she dug into her crotch with her hand and scratched the growing itch in her Alphys-matching Mew Mew Kissy Cutie panties.
"Yeah, man, my bikini is giving me freaking TIT CRAMPS!" Alphys moaned in despair, clutching her chest in pain from how excessively she had tightened her Undyne-matching Mew Mew Kissy Cutie bra.
"Oh, for the love of God, quit WHINING already! At least you actually HAVE clothes!" Asriel sighed and facepalmed disappointedly on Alphys' and Undyne's behalf while Burgerpants stared intently at his firm, tight buttocks.
"DAT ASS THO..." Burgerpants whispered to himself, licking his lips and hissing with delight as he put on a pair of clear-lensed hipster sunglasses (yes, ON TOP of his already outright ludicrous and publicly unacceptable outfit) and snapped his fingers handsomely in a pointing gesture.
"Watch how I do it, everybody! This one's for Waterfall-trained professionals ONLY!" Undyne laughed valiantly as she backed up, gave herself a huge running start and did a gracefully clear-cut and gorgeous swan dive (yes, from TWENTY FREAKING FEET, because the lake was seriously that freaking deep) into the water, making a surprisingly miniscule SPLASH!
"So...is the current temperature of the water suitable for organic lifeforms to plunge themselves into or what?" Alphys asked Undyne, cupping her hands and yelling so that she could hear her.
"O-oh y-yeah, t-the w-water's F-F-F-FINE!" Undyne stuttered and stammered, very clearly shivering and chattering her teeth from how freezing-cold the water was as she reluctantly and awkwardly shot Alphys and Asriel a great big double thumbs-up with her trembling, jittering hands.
"Well, here goes nothing!" Alphys shrugged her shoulders nihilistically as she decided to recklessly do a cannonball dive straight into the almost Arctic-cold water, making a huge SPLASH!
"I t-think m-my b-blood is about t-to F-FREEZE!" Alphys crossed her arms over her chest and shrieked in pain from the sheer coldness of the water, her teeth chattering so loudly that it could audibly be heard from at least twenty whole feet away as she shivered in despair.
"HMPH! You pathetic mortals DISGUST me! FEAST your eyes upon how the TRUE godly professionals of this world do it!" Asriel boasted arrogantly as he leapt off of the cliff and did several midair somersaults as he rapidly fell through the air and into the lake!
"BEHOLD the awesome WRATH of- YEEEOWWWCH!" Asriel screamed like a little girl as he landed in the water with another equally huge SPLASH and nearly shivered his SOUL out from how cold it was!
"Oh, come on, Burgerpants, you're not getting in TOO?" Alphys teased Burgerpants.
"Do I LOOK like I'm wearing proper swimming gear to you?" Burgerpants asked, putting a nicely lit cigarette into his golden-wigged, pink-dressed, clown-painted mouth and smoking it as he continued burying his face into his porn magazine, tilting the profoundly seedy pamphlet around like a steering wheel in the process while he used it to "hide" the fact that he was very clearly jerking off.
"Personally, I think a better question would be DO YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE WEARING PROPER MALE CLOTHING?" Undyne laughed uproariously at him while her friends laughed with her.
"Damn, she REALLY got me there..." Burgerpants sighed, reapplying his glittery red lipstick and brushing his curly, dangling, golden-blonde hair with his fingers and readjusting his earrings.
"Well, hey; I mean, at least it makes him look pretty, right?" Asriel blushed, shrugged and reluctantly admitted, causing both Alphys and Undyne to almost immediately burst out laughing at him while Mettaton suddenly charged right through the clearing and jumped into the air with all of his might, curling up into a ball and yelling "CANNONBALL" in the prcoess.
"Meh, whatever..." Burgerpants muttered to himself in response, opening his magazine back up and continuing to indulge himself even further in its many not-exactly-hidden treasures without a single care in the world as Mettaton finally landed right in the dead center of the ginormous lake, making a gargantuan splash that was literally the size and shape of a nuclear explosion and sending a massive tsunami-sized wave of water rushing its way over the entire forest!
"OH, SWEET MOTHERF%#&ING SON OF GOAT SATAN HIMSELF!" Burgerpants screamed in terror, his controting into yet another grotesquely exaggerated expression straight out of the good old days of classic John-K-era Ren & Stimpy as he hopelessly covered his face with his magazine in a quite frankly pathetic attempt to block the wave with a giant packet of paper.
"HOLY FREAKING SH*T, THIS IS AWESOME!" Alphys and Undyne laughed and cheered with excitement as the foaming crest of the wave shot them something like fifty solid feet into the air, putting out the fire and causing an immensely thick fog of steam to billow up from the now mostly-leafless trees in the forest!
"..." Burgerpants held his breath and sighed internally, still firmly bolted to his lawn chair as the wave washed his magazine right away to god-knows-where (with Asriel swimming desperately after it) and deposited him right into the middle of a nearby dirt road, with lopsided glasses, a sopping-wet and laughably fake horsehair wig, equally sopping-wet and laughably dangling fur, and hideously running makeup all over his face just to add the proverbial icing to the cake.
"WOOOOOO! YEAH-HAH!" Alphys laughed and squealed with joy and excitement as she clung for dear life to the pointy little tip-top of a nearby evergreen tree while Mettaton looked around curiously until he finally found her and let loose a simply adorable smile in response.
"That was probably the most fun I've ever had in my entire stinking LIFE!" Undyne laughed and giggled as she clung for dear life to Alphys' pudgy, adorable and surprisingly long little tail, nibbling on it lovingly.
"GAH! UNDYNE! TEETH! SERIOUSLY!" Alphys yelped in pain as Undyne accidentally sunk her teeth into its nerve endings, causing it to involuntarily and somewhat frantically wag back and forth while Undyne struggled not to lose her grip.
"What. in the actual. F%#&. Just happened?" Burgerpants thought to himself as he literally just sat there oh his chair, right in the middle of the road, with a look on his face that could only be described as contemplating whether or not taking additional LSD in the near future would actually be a good idea as Nice Burger Guy drove by in his snow-white-puppy delivery truck and stopped right next to him to deliver very important and totally-not-obvious news to him.
"HEY!" Nice Burger Guy poked his head out through the driver's side window of the truck and yelled at Burgerpants while all of the puppies adorably snuggled each other, wagged their tails and yipped at the poor crossdressing bastard in admiration of how disturbingly cute his womanly attire made him.
"Yeah?" Burgerpants said flatly in response.
"You're RIGHT in the middle of the-"
"YEAH?!" Burgerpants frustratedly raised his voice at Nice Burger Guy, cutting him off in mid-sentence as he glanced over at him and revealed his hilariously ruined and hideous face.
"WELL, I HONESTLY CAN'T REMEMBER THE LAST TIME I'VE LAUGHED THIS HARD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE, BUT ALRIGHTY THEN! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Nice Burger Guy hysterically laughed his ever-loving ass off, rolling on the seats and pounding his fists on the seat cushions and wiping the joyful hilarity-induced tears from his eyes as he exhaustedly pulled himself back up into his seat and drove off, still trying to hold back his laughter while all of the cuddly little dogs stuffed into the back trunk pointed and giggled uproariously at him.
"I think that's enough FUN for one day..." Burgerpants sighed blankly as the sun set behind him.
Giantess World
