TIMG: CHAPTER 2
ONE EXTREMELY INTENSE DODGEBALL GAME IN THE GYM LATER...
"Greetings, students; my name is Gerson, and I'm your new academic drill sergeant for the year!" Gerson the already-extremely-old-and-wrinkly turtle introduced himself as the students systematically filed themselves one-by-one into each neatly arranged seat of the classroom.
"Say WHAT now? Academic DRILL SERGEANT?! The hell does that even MEAN?!" Sans stammered in both minor annoyance and extremely major confusion while Gerson just crossed his arms over his chest and patiently waited for the little miscreant to finally finish yapping.
"Sans, for crying out loud; a drill sergeant, BY DEFINITION, is academic! He freaking TEACHES you things, it's not exactly ROCKET science!" Papyrus groaned irritatedly at Sans, double-facepalming himself and gently weeping in disappointment at Sans' immense laziness.
"EXACTLY!" Gerson laughed, slapping Papyrus on the back so hard that the poor skeleton's lower jaw fell off, requiring him to bend over and pick it up while Sans amazingly avoided making any "don't drop the soap" jokes about his brother's embarrassing predicament.
"Hey, Papyrus!" Sans whispered excitedly into Papyrus' ear, trying desperately to hold in his laughter while Papyrus glared nervously and somewhat agitatedly at him, gritting his teeth.
"WHAT?!" Papyrus sneered at him, legitimately seething with rage.
"Don't drop Game Theory's gift to the POPE!" Sans whispered into Papyrus' ear, finally losing his compsure and busting out into a fit of maniacal, howling, rolling-on-the-floor laughter.
"WHAT...I..." Papyrus stammered, his jaw hanging wide open yet again in disbelief as everyone in the classroom, including the drill-sergeant teacher himself, glared soul-piercingly at Sans.
"Alright, THAT'S it, NO more Mister NICE Guy! In fact, I'd say it's about time I put a little more BACKBONE into disciplining and PACIFYING you and your freaking stupid, BONEHEADED shenanigans!" Papyrus ranted furiously at Sans, tackling him onto the ground and engaging in a cartoonishly violent dust-cloud fistfight with him for the second consecutive time that day.
ONE SENDING OF SANS AND PAPYRUS TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE LATER...
"Alright, everybody; we have a LOT to learn today about how to operate in them newfangled modern-day-military types of situations!" Gerson informed the class, flexing his impressively ripped-for-his-age muscles powerfully and handsomely...and then awkwardly leaning forward, clutching his back and yelping in pain as he accidentally dislocated several disks in his spine.
"OOO...OWWWWCH...oh yes, we sure do, Mister Allison Kingbach!" Gerson miserably joked as he pushed and snapped his spinal cord back into place, causing everyone in the room to immediately facepalm and head-desk themselves; thankfully, Sans and Papyrus were gone.
"Um, HELLO? Why has no one mentioned yet that I literally JUST RECENTLY got my freaking EYE cut out with a goddamned SPORK and then ostensibly EATEN and chewed up by my godforsaken, scrawny little WHORE of a girlfriend?!" Undyne ranted irritatedly at the class, briefly lifting up the pirate-style patch that was now covering her left eyesocket and displaying the fleshy, pulsating, grotesquely disfigured skin-hole underneath it to everyone around her, causing her fellow students to scream in horror and cover their eyes and mouths in revulsion.
"Undyne, come on, seriously; I was just doing what I HAD to!" the heavily injured Alphys reminded Undyne angrily, nudging her forcefully on the shoulder with the elbow of her bandaged arm and whacking her forcefully on the knees with her crutches while Gerson walked aimlessly around the room, thoroughly racking his brain for a way to get his students to behave.
"OW!" Undyne yelped in pain as she reflexively swung her legs way up into the air and accidentally kicked Gerson dead-center in the crotch, right as he was passing by.
"WHY, YOU LITTLE-"
"Oh, uhh, I'm sorry! I, uhh, wasn't really in control of my ACTIONS there, was I?" Undyne blushed and stammered awkwardly while Alphys crossed her magically already-almost-fully-healed legs atop her desk, crossed her equally-rapidly-healing arms behind her head and began whistling innocently while Gerson walked back up to the front of them, cleared his throat to finally regain the undivded attention of his annoyingly large class of students, and grabbed his pointer.
"Alright, NO more petty disagreements between us, OKAY?!" Gerson growled lividly, his right eye twitching as he snapped his pointer into halves in frustration. "I'm WAY TOO FREAKING OLD for this crap, alright?! You guys understand?! YOU UNDERSTAND, DON'T YOU?!"
"WHOA dude, calm DOWN! Jesus CHRIST!" Undyne stammered nervously, leaning backward in her chair and doing the jazz hands while Gerson began rhythmically tapping his foot in eager anticipation of the very special moment when the generic, unnamed class members would finally stop arguing with each other.
SEVERAL MINUTES LATER...
"Okay, so...now that we've FINALLY(!) all settled down and shut our traps once and for all, I'd like to briefly redirect our attention to the actual INTENDED subject matter on hand here in this classroom: BEING IN PROPER SHAPE FOR WAR!" Gerson chuckled as the class saluted him in response.
"SIR, YES, SIR!" the entire class chanted.
"Hmm...you know what? Since we're unfortunately running awfully short on time here, I'm afraid that we're going to need to pick two specific volunteers for today's lesson!" Gerson explained.
"Oh, geeze, I sure do WONDER which two students you're going to pick!" Alphys sighed.
A FEW MINUTES LATER, UNDERNEATH A LARGE TREE IN THE OUTDOOR FITNESS AREA...
"Alright, class, remember what we just recently went over regarding the easiest way to deal with magical nukes?" Gerson asked his massive audience of proud and loyal students, all of which besides were busy standing and drooling absentmindedly, as Undyne ducked down onto her knees and folded her arms over her head in the classic "duck and cover" maneuver from the 1950s.
"Indeed, Undyne, that is EXACTLY what you must do! Remember, kids: DUCK and COVER!" Gerson laughed heartily as he painfully forced Alphys into the knee-crouching position and folded her still-slightly-broken arms forcefully over her head, causing her to shriek in discomfort.
AT THE SCHOOL'S TRACK-AND-FIELD CIRCUIT...
"Ready, set, GO!" Gerson signaled everyone at full volume as everyone in the class, most especially Undyne, immediately took off running at absolute maximum power and velocity...well, everyone, that is, except for poor, poor little Alphys, whose legs were still busy recovering.
About five of everyone else's designated six laps later, Alphys was still desperately struggling to even get through one measly lap, her overall time for which had already well exceeded three minutes thanks to her slow-as-hell crutches being her only non-painful way of getting around.
"U...S...A..." Alphys panted and moaned in exhaustion as she finally broke down and collasped onto the finish line, prompting Undyne to scoop the poor thing up into her arms and carry her and her crutches into the nearby weight-lifting room in the school's gymnasium.
IN THE WEIGHT-LIFTING ROOM...
"HUT! SUT! RAW!" Undyne loudly and passionately chanted as her and (actually very few of) her fellow classmates began bench-pressing disproportionately large weights up and down like there was no tomorrow...which, of course, meant that Alphys was once again the unlucky one.
"Oh, how I yearn for death's sweet, SWEET embrace!" Alphys moaned in despair, with tears of agony running down her face as she felt her shrimpy little bones crunching and snapping underneath the sheer weight of the bench-press weight that had just been carelessly thrown right on top of her.
"Good night, sweet prince, and flights of angels send thee to thy rest..." Alphys choked, sputtered and coughed as her lungs finally gave way, causing her to pass out and faint onto the weight-lifting cushion with her eyes firmly shut and her tongue hanging out like that of a dog.
BACK IN GERSON'S CLASSROOM...
"NOW LET ME SEE YOUR WARFACES!" Gerson yelled at the tops of his congested, wrinkly old lungs in true drill-sergeant fashion at Alphys and Undyne as the two of them stood right next to each other in front of him, both of them trying their hardest to follow the old man's orders.
"DURRRRRR!" Alphys, who had just recently been overexerted to the point of temporarily forgetting nearly all of her mental faculties, crooned as she painfully contorted her black-and-blue-eyed, multiple-tooth-missing, horribly misshapen face into an eerily crooked grin.
"BULLCRAP, YOU DIDN'T CONVINCE ME! NOW LET ME SEE A REAL WARFACE!" Gerson yelled passionately at Undyne, who then immediately proceeded to break down onto her knees, bury her head in her hands and sob hysterically at her poor lizard girlfriend's misfortune.
"FOR F%# 'S SAKE, YOU'RE BOTH FIRED!" Gerson jokingly yelled at both Alphys and Undyne as the school's early-dismissal bell finally rang, prompting the latter to lovingly scoop the former onto her amazingly strong shoulders and give her an ever-so-adorable piggyback ride all the way over to Toriel's local Silver Sleet restaurant (which of course was a classic 1950s-style silver diner) with both of their matching Mew Mew Kissy Cutie Pusheen backpacks in tow.
"AWW!" literally every single person the two of them passed by immediately crooned with childlike joy at the mere sight of them being so sickeningly cute and lovable together.
"Are we there yet?" Alphys suddenly woke up and asked Undyne teasingly.
"No..." Undyne shrugged and sighed as she continued walking.
"Are we there yet?" Alphys continued teasing Undyne with an adorably dorky and toothy grin on her face as she began lovingly nibbling on the fish lady's ever-so-gorgeous ponytail.
"NO..." Undyne growled with rapidly increasing annoyance, gently waving her hand up above her head to shoo Alphys away from her hair that she spent literally half an hour perfecting every single morning.
"Are we THERE yet?" Alphys trollishly jeered at Undyne as she continued nibbling on the poor fish lady's comically oversized ponytail and even began playfully ruffling it up with her fingers.
"GODDAMNIT, NO! JUST FREAKING STOP IT ALREADY, WOULD YOU PLEASE?!" Undyne screamed loudly at Alphys in a fit of rage while the little cutie-pie blushed, covered her mouth and giggled adorably.
"Aww, you're so cute when you're riled up!" Alphys laughed teasingly at Undyne, patting her lovingly on the head and hopping back down onto the ground as the two of them finally reached the front door to Silver Sleet and stepped inside, with everyone in the general vicinity already shooting them mean looks due to the sheer number of car crashes that had just been caused directly by Undyne's careless guidance of Alphys right through the middles of the local forest roads.
"What, was it something we SAID?" Alphys and Undyne shrugged and asked cluelessly, glancing curiously around themselves as Toriel glared soul-piercingly at the both of them and pointed her finger at the suspiciously large amount of car crashes that had just recently occurred literally right behind them through the front windows of the restaurant.
"Uhh...we c-can explain..." Alphys and Undyne stammered awkwardly, huddling together for comfort while everyone in the restaurant continued nastily glaring at them even further.
Giantess World
