TIMG: CHAPTER 6
"TRANSFORM!" Mettaton commanded himself needlessly as he transformed himself from his sexy and humanoid EX form into his just-plain-adorable BOX form, twirled around on his one single locomotive wheel and posed beautifully for the borderline-nonexistent audience.
"Alright, now that you've converted yourself into a smaller and more compact form, I need you to go and hide in that old abandoned barn over there!" Alphys explained, pointing her finger at the dilapidated old barn building that she was referring to...which, coincidentally enough, just so happened to be conveniently located right next to Toriel's house, so thank God for that.
"BARN..." Mettaton whispered somewhat interestedly to himself as he rolled his way over to the barn, laid himself face-up on the ground, retracted his arms and wheel into his currently rectangular-cube-shaped body, and used his rocket propulsion systems to gently float himself into the barn and sleep there, slowly but surely recharging (some of) his energy in the process.
"Come on now, follow me before someone lingering around out here SEES us!" Alphys beckoned hastily to Undyne, grabbing her by the arm and dragging her back into Toriel's house with her; luckily, since Toriel was already in bed, there was no need for the two of them to say goodnight to her as they ran up into the attic, changed into their matching Mew Mew Kissy Cutie pajamas and slept together on their queen-sized bed in super-duper-snuggly fashion.
"Alright, looks like the coast is clear!" Flowey cackled to himself as he made his way over to Toriel's house, burrowed underneath the door and then rapidly (yet silently) teleporting his way up the stairs until he finally reached the top floor, where he then proceeded to open up the ceiling hatch (by pulling the dangling rope on it with his vines, of course) and slink his way up the ladder into Toriel's attic, where he scratched his head in confusion out of sheer wonderment of whose head he wanted to sneak inside first; Alphys' or Undyne's.
"Eh, I guess I'll start with the actually SMART one of the two; seems like the overall SMART thing to do, if you ask me!" Flowey jokingly whispered and chuckled to himself as he stuck his reality-warping vines right up both of Alphys' ear canals and teleported himself directly into her brain.
"Man, TALK about a big freaking sponge!" Flowey gasped in amazement as he saw, in all of its hyper-detailed real-life glory, how incredibly spacious and complex the inside of Alphys' brain really was.
The internal and external walls alike were gorgeously decorated with a remarkably vast neural network of multicolored wires that ran through the organ's thousands upon thousands of folds and wrinkles, and the bioelectrical current running through said wires was so powerful that it was actually fully visible and posed a very serious electrocution hazard...which Flowey had luckily already learned the (long and) hard way the last time he had visited the place in fanfiction. (Yeah, let's never speak of Vengeful Torment again, shall we?)
And of course, in typical classic-cartoon-trope fashion, the entire network of said wires was directly connected to an intimidatingly massive central control supercomputer, which was so amazingly high-tech and advanced that it somehow even had a flippable keyboard deck with god-knows-how-many levers and buttons on its underside, much to Flowey's delight.
"You know, narrator, I really appreciate your rather disturbing level of descriptiveness regarding the bodily organ that I'm currently in at the moment and all, but you're already creeping me out even more than I am right now, which I'll have you is actually saying a HELL of a lot, given the types of thoughts that are currently running through my head right now!" Flowey ranted angrily at me, baring his frightfully sharp teeth and hissing ominously at me. Bring it on, I replied.
"Tch, freaking endo fags!" Flowey chuckled with an irritatingly smug grin on his face as he tiptoed his way over to the supercomputer and flipped the keyboard right over, revealing the aforementioned myriad of unsettlingly shiny and brightly colored buttons, levers and joysticks on its underside.
"Wow, what a bunch of cool TOYS for me to play with...HA! Who the hell am I kidding, this stupidly overcomplicated bullcrap doesn't interest me at all; hell, I'm honestly not sure how I ever even managed to figure out how to properly work it myself!" Flowey laughed and smiled adorably in memory of all the good times he had previously had in these types of scenes.
"Actually, wait a minute...you know what? On second thought, there are so many dirty and nasty things I could potentially make Alphys do with Undyne right now that I quite frankly don't even know where to BEGIN, let alone how I'm going to explain myself to my parents if and when they almost inevitably end up finding out about it!" Flowey thought (and whispered) maliciously to himself, his face suddenly contorting into an incredibly disturbing slasher smile as he fervently licked his lips and began drooling at the mouth and twitching in his seat with excitement.
"Flowey, I'm very seriously warning you this time; there's a time and place for everything, and it most DEFINITELY isn't now!" a bone-chillingly mysterious telepathic voice that sounded more-than-suspiciously like Gaster's echoed through Flowey's mind right when he was just about to push the STRIP NAKED and MAKE PARTNER EAT OUT buttons!
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Indeed, this was actually the true secret behind just about literally anyone of any given level of intelligence being able to operate the ludicrously complex control systems within the monsters' brains; as it turns out, through a bizarre mixture of cartoon logic and highly sophisticated magic, the internal operator could basically make the buttons and levers do LITERALLY whatever he/she/it wanted through the sheer power of imagination and determination (wink, wink).
"Umm, o-kay, I am DEFINITELY not risking whatever THAT creepy bastard might end up doing to me if I choose to disobey his orders! VERY WELL THEN, ON WITH THE PLAN HERE!" Flowey shuddered, gulped and stammered in fear as he carefully inserted one of his vines into Alphys' disproportionately large mind socket and projected himself into the poor girl's subconscious.
"Damn it, Flowey, I'll have you know that before YOU came along and screwed everything up as ALWAYS, I was busy having one of the happiest Undyne-marriage dreams of my entire freaking LIFE!" Alphys sneered angrily at Flowey, wishing that the little bastard would at least give her some privacy for once, and perhaps even stop reminding her about how one of her past Determination experiments was actually the primary reason why that one particular form of his even existed in the first place while he was at it. You know, just common monster courteousy.
"Oh, believe me, I've seen the Alphyne porn collection you've got going on in your memory banks; if there's ANYONE besides pretty much everyone else in the entire Underground that would know about your disturbingly kinky little crush on her, it's me!" Flowey laughed and raised his eyebrows suggestively with a fertilizer-eating grin on his face while his real-world counterpart scrolled his way through page after page of exactly what his astral projection was talking about, stroking his pelvic stamens passionately and furiously in the process.
"Also, why am I freaking BUCK-NAKED right now?!" Alphys shrieked in disgust, crossing her legs and covering her nipples with her hands as she blushed and trembled in helpless embarrassment.
"Quite frankly, my dear, I think you already KNOW why!" Flowey teasingly stuck his tongue out and winked at Alphys while his real-world counterpart screamed in pleasure and blasted out a full cup of hot, gooey, slimy and oh-so-sticky nectar (vine sauce, if you will) all over her manual control panel.
"Alright, look, you freaking despicable son-of-a-bitch; if you came here looking for information about Metta-whatever-the-f#% -he's-called, I can ASSURE you that you are absolutely NOT going to be getting it tonight!" Alphys clenched her fists and growled lividly at Flowey, steam pouring out from her ears as her face turned red with mixed feelings of pent-up anger and disgust.
"Don't play DUMB with me, SMARTY-pantsless!" Flowey teased Alphys trollishly as his real-world counterpart went deeper still into her memory-bank library and found an extensive gallery of things that he had already seen before; little did he know, Alphys was so incredibly smart that her brain had somehow magically deleted every last image of Mettaton's BOX form from her memory just in case some random intruder like Flowey decided to nose about in there.
"Now tell me, Alphys; WHERE are you keeping Mettaton right now?" Flowey asked Alphys threateningly despite already having a pretty good idea of what the answer to his own question was as his astral projection tied up Alphys by the wrists and ankles with his vines while his real-world counterpart took full control over her body and made her leap out of bed, grab Undyne roughly with her claws and carry her over to a nearby chair with a maliciously toothy smirk on her face.
"I'm never telling scum like you ANYTHING about such an incredibly sensitive subject, ESPECIALLY if you're going to have an attitude like THIS!" Alphys sneered disgustedly at Flowey, projectile-spitting onto his face while her real-world counterpart tied Undyne up in the chair, duct-taped her mouth firmly shut, pulled an extremely sharp kitchen knife out from her pocket and hissed like a bloodthirsty snake as she got behind the poor fish lady and terrifyingly held the knife's blade right up against her neck, causing her to tremble and squeal in helpless terror.
"Since when were YOU the one in CONTROL here?!" Flowey bit back angrily at Alphys as extended out several more vines from his disturbingly complex system of roots and began tickling Alphys' feet, armpits, belly and tail all at the exact same time, causing her to hysterically scream and cry in a manic fit of laughter while Undyne screamed and cried for her adoptive mommy...but to absolutely no avail whatsoever, since after all, her entire mouth was no-less-than-completely covered in duct tape, not to mention that Toriel was sleeping all the way down in the master bedroom on the first floor, wearing a very thick set of earmuffs as she did so.
"BWAHAHAHAHA! SWEE-HEET MERCIFUL JEE-HEE-HEESUS, STOP IT! STAH-HAH-HAH-HAHP IT! I'M BEGGING YOU! I'M FREE-HEEKING BEH-HEHGING YOO-HOO-HOO-HOU!" Alphys laughed and screamed and cried hysterically as waterfalls of tears streamed down her immensely blushing face as she helplessly struggled with all of her might to break free of her botanic restraints, prompting Flowey to tighten said restraints even further.
"So TELL me, Alphys; am I TICKLING your fancy right now or WHAT?" Flowey laughed hysterically, toppling face-first onto the ground and forcefully pounding his leaves against it in a profoundly childish fit of utterly sadistic amusement while Alphys' real-world counterpart drew her finger across her neck threateningly and pressed her knife even harder against Undyne's throat until blood-red droplets of dust began leaking out, which the demonically possessed weeaboo lizard promptly licked up while Undyne moaned and wailed and shrieked in horror.
"I SWEAR TO GAH-HAH-HAH-HAHD, I'LL TELL YOU LITERALLY ANYTHEE-HEE-HEE-HEENG AS LAH-HAH-HAH-HAHNG AS IT AT LEAST KEE-HEE-HEE-HEEPS YOU FROM MAKING JO-HO-HO-HOKES LIKE THAA-HAA-HAA-HAAT!" Alphys almost literally laughed her lungs out while Flowey wiped the tears from his eyes and meekly pulled himself back up into upright position and bit down on his own confusingly existent jaw, still trying his absolute hardest to stop himself from laughing at the poor girl's expense as he finally stopped tickling her and allowed her some breathing room.
"HA, JUST KIDDING!" Flowey laughed uproariously as he immediately resumed his brutal tickle-torturing of Alphys, causing the poor thing to finally give in and confess her already incredibly and blatantly obvious secret regarding Mettaton's location to Flowey as tears of sadness, joy, anger, fear, disgust and literally everything in between streamed down her face.
"THE BARN! HEE-HEE'S HIDING IN THE BAR-HAR-HAR-HARN!" Alphys laughed exhaustedly, collapsing onto her hands and knees and gasping and panting desperately for air as Flowey finally released her from his flowery grip and stopped tickling her once and for all, returning both Undyne's and Alphys' bodies to their rightful place in bed and declaring his work in the latter's noggin done as he attempted to slowly sneak his way back out of Alphys' head through her nose.
"Alphys, pardon my asking, but seriously, what in the actual flying F%#& has gotten into you lately?!" Undyne hissed angrily at Alphys, smacking her on the shoulder.
"Well, long story short, I'm pretty sure I just got the inner workings of my head invaded upon by none other than the infamous Flowey...also known as Prince Asriel Dreemurr, the eternal GAHH-AHH-AHH-CHOO!" Alphys sneezed violently, blowing Flowey right out of her nose and onto the floor in a big, nasty pile of gooey, slimy, filthy and ever-so-sticky mucus.
"YOU!" Alphys and Undyne both roared furiously at him, clenching their hands into fists and gritting their teeth while the poor psychotic sociopath backed away nervously and did the jazz leaves.
"Now, now, no h-hard f-feelings!" Flowey stammered in terror, backing up firmly against the wall and sweating literal buckets while Alphys and Undyne ominously edged closer and closer to him, both of them clenching their hands into menacingly vicious claws and baring their goofy, dorky teeth at him...when suddenly, they both decided to try and simultaneously tackle him onto the ground!
"HA, PSYCHE!" Flowey laughed trollishly, teleporting away into the front yard just as Alphys and Undyne were literally right about to pounce onto him like a pair of ferocious, bloodthirsty lions!
"AFTER HIM!" Alphys commanded Undyne valiantly as the two of them jumped back down through the hatch onto the third floor, immediately ran (well, actually more like tripped and tumbled) straight down the staircase to the first floor, forcefully kicked the door open for no less than the actual third time so far, and made a beeline straight for the abandoned barn.
"Hmm, let's see, what's in here?" Flowey wondered as he opened up the unusually massive front door with his vines and found what appeared to be nothing more than a giant overglorified toaster with much of its face covered in fancy, glowy neon lights just laying there lifelessly.
"GOD DAMNIT, ALPHYS, I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT YOU WOULD FREAKING LIE TO ME LIKE THIS! YOU STUPID BASTARDS REALLY F%#&ING THINK I'M STUPID ENOUGH TO NOT F#&%ING KNOW THAT THIS ISN'T THE REAL GOD-DAMNED METTATON?!" Flowey screamed furiously, causing both Alphys and Undyne to relcutantly (and somewhat painfully) bite down on their jaws and hold their breaths to stop themselves from laughing at his simply astonishing naiveté.
"I swear to Lord Neptune, that f& #ing kid is AT LEAST as dumb as a sack of sea urchins!" Undyne groaned and sighed in utter disappointment, facepalming herself while Alphys did the same.
"I'LL say!" Alphys pointed and laughed at Flowey, sticking her tongue out teasingly at him.
"You know what? Screw this! If you're going to f%#$ing BEE like this, then I can always very easily just wait until tomorrow or some sh*t! For the time BEEING, however, I'll have you two know that I've got other places to BEE, other places to GROW!" Flowey spat disgustedly (and disgustingly hypocritically, of course) at Alphys and Undyne as he childishly turned vine-tail and ran away, finally showing some actual genuine sympathy and leaving the poor girls alone.
"Alphys, just so you know, I don't think I'm ever going to be able to sleep soundly again!" Undyne shuddered and stammered nervously to Alphys, hugging her pillow and frantically glancing around herself in a profoundly paranoid and cowardly manner.
"Me neither!" Alphys chuckled merrily at first, then immediately broke down into tears as she curled herself up into a chubby little nerd ball and helplessly trembled in fear, with bloody tissues stuffed into her nose and Toriel's stolen earmuffs thoroughly covering her earholes as she and Undyne reluctantly snuggled together and fell back asleep for the rest of the night.
"I'LL GET YOU, FAGGOTS..." Flowey angrily and frustratedly whispered to himself as he miserably trudged his way back to Snowdin Town and impatiently stayed the night.
Giantess World
