TIMG: CHAPTER 9
"So, what have you two cutie-pies been up to lately? I mean, besides all of the absolutely ridiculous stuff that just happened this morning, that is?" Burgerpants snickered, guzzling down yet another mug's worth of sugar-coated-cocaine-laced coffee while Alphys and Undyne more than slightly overenthusiastically did the same, letting loose incredibly loud "AHH" and burping sounds immediately afterward while Burgerpants merely tapped his foot impatiently on the floor, tapped his finger gently against the side of his head, crossed his legs girlishly, and eagerly waited for the two of them to finally finish being stupid and just talk to him already.
"And this is why I absolutely despise talking to these absolutely insufferable goddamned LOOK AT ME, I'M SO FREAKING GORGEOUS AND HANDSOME types..." Burgerpants grumpily thought to himself (despite clearly being one of them) as Alphys and Undyne began hyperactively bouncing up and down on the couch like adorable little bunny rabbits.
"Well, for starters, as you can very clearly see, I'm a scrawny little weeaboo that hangs out with another scrawny little weeaboo and engages in the art of scrawny little weeaboo sex with her on a daily AND nightly basis, to the point where we've literally been caught at least FIFTEEN FREAKING TIMES making out with each other in the janitor's closet and the girls' bathroom at school, AT LEAST FIVE of which had us wearing our anime catgirl costumes in the process!" Alphys explained as she and Undyne immediately blasted off like a pair of ecstatic, sugar-high rockets and danced all over the room while Burgerpants used his iPad (which he had just recently grabbed off of the sofaside table) to record their ridiculously hyperactive antics.
"And I always got bad grades in school because I literally could not stop thinking about Alphys and how utterly beautiful and lovely she is, so Toriel told me that if I just took the time to actually man up MENTALLY and SPIRITUALLY and MEANINGFULLY rather than just physically, and developed the patience to actually STUDY for tests and properly do my own homework rather than just letting Alphys do it for me, THEN perhaps I would be able to academically redeem myself!" Undyne explained in a very uncharacteristically motor-mouthed fashion.
"And every day, like literally every single waking hour of every waking day, me and Undyne CONSTANTLY wonder and ponder to ourselves about what could quite possibly be considered the ULTIMATE philosophical question in today's modern society; IS ANIME REAL?" Alphys asked Burgerpants curiously, to which he just shrugged his shoulders and shook his head in response.
"Like, seriously; after me getting accidentally impaled through the eye with a freaking CHICKEN BONE by my own girlfriend at lunch yesterday, and you getting that one particular squirrel in your pants at the Silver Sleet, and me and Alphys re-enacting Half-Life 2 together inside of our own wild imaginations, and Flowey going inside Alphys' brain and somehow managing to torture both her on the astral plane of existence and me on the physical plane at the EXACT same bloody time, and especially the downright breathtaking moment when we finally met that adorably anime-haired, 50-foot-tall metal bastard outside, along with pretty much every single noteworthy moment we've had with you so far, I'm pretty sure that we've more or less officially reached a conclusion here once and for all!" Undyne explained, gasping and panting for breath.
"And what would THAT be, may I ask?" Burgerpants asked the two of them teasingly, twirling the handle of his empty coffee mug on his finger and glaring somewhat suggestively at them.
"ANIME IS ONLY AS REAL AS YOU CHOOSE TO MAKE IT!" Alphys and Undyne both cheered in unison as they both threw all of their clothes right off, tackled each other into a big naked ball and rolled about on the floor together, cuddling and french-kissing each other lovingly while Burgerpants clenched his right hand into a poorly drawn and horrifically misshapen claw, struggling to resist the urge to plunge it straight down his pants and pleasure himself with it.
"Hey, that's what my FEET are for, you silly goose!" Alphys giggled and blushed embarrassedly as she extended her legs straight out toward Burgerpants, pulling his already thoroughly-unbuttoned-and-unzipped pants down with her big and long and exceptionally flexible toes, curling them tightly around the shaft of his penis and stroking it up and down with them while she simultaneously ate out Undyne's vagina and breastfed her tits with her big toothy mouth.
"OH...OHHHH...OHHHHHHH..." Burgerpants moaned orgasmically, spraying a massive sloppy load of his own creamy, sticky, gooey white semen all over his face and licking it off of his lips as he swallowed whatever miniscule bit of pride he had left in him, washing it down with pure unadulterated cum as he stripped himself buck-naked and piled himself on top of Alphys and Undyne.
A FEW HOURS LATER...
"OOOOOOH..." Alphys, Undyne and Burgerpants, all three of which were now sprawled about awkwardly on the thickly cum-stained carpet, groaned and panted exhaustedly while Nice Burger Guy merrily skipped right out the front door of Burgerpants' restaurant and made his way over to Burgerpants' house for lunch break (which, in this case, technically meant the entire three-day weekend).
"Hey, guys, just waltzing right in as always for my daily lunch break, and I was honestly wondering if perhaps maybe you guys might like some nice...UMM...CREAM..." Nice Burger Guy gasped and covered his mouth in frightful horror, his ears drooping downward in revulsion as he witnessed what was no less than unmistakably the aftermath of a massive, unspeakably disgusting orgy between two severely high-functioningly autistic twelve-year-old girls and one alcoholic, drug-addicted, sexually chaotic, four-times-juvenile-delinquent fifteen-year-old boy!
"Um, YEAH...forget I even said anything..." Nice Burger Guy stammered embarrassedly as he slowly backed away from the front door with a rather distinctly "let us never speak of this again" look in his eyes, then immediately turned tail and ran away screaming like a hyena.
"Well, well, would you just LOOK at the time!" Burgerpants snickered as his giant tit-clock with dildos for hands struck Alphys' and Undyne's more-or-less official lunch time, 12:34 PM.
"Go on, you sexy little rascals, get out of here before someone calls the cops on me! Go ahead, SHOO, what the hell are you WAITING for?!" Burgerpants urgently commanded Alphys and Undyne as he forcefully ushered them straight out the front door and locked it behind them.
"Oh, and by the way..." Burgerpants whispered through the door's newspaper hole, "don't worry about Mettaton, alright? I'll make sure to keep him safe and sound here for every bit as long as possible, even if that probably only means something like two days...oh, and also, on a somewhat related side note, here's my phone number; give me a call if you ever need me, okay?" he concluded, slipping a small yellow post-it note with not one but both of his phone numbers on it right through the newspaper hole so that Alphys could grab it and shove it into her purse.
"So tell me, Alphys, what exactly HAVE we learned today, if anything?" Undyne asked Alphys curiously, rubbing her hand against her chin and racking her brain for a satisfactory answer as the two of them casually strolled their way back through the forest to Toriel's house, opened the door, ran up the stairs onto the second floor and went straight into the kitchen; sure enough, Toriel had already made heaping portions of Thanksgiving dinner that filled the entire dining table with the sweet smells of cranberry sauce, Snowdin turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, bread rolls, pumpkin pie...and of course, Mother's fancy-ass perfume.
"Hey, wait a minute, I wonder what's wrong with this picture?" Alphys sarcastically wondered out loud to herself, stroking her chin and taking her seat as she saw Asriel sitting directly across from her at the table with an incredibly crap-eating grin on his face, girlishly crossing his legs, crossing his arms behind his head, resting his heels atop the very edge of the table and wiggling his toes with delight, his softly padded and fluffy soles glistening in the sunlight.
"OH, SUCH WONDERFUL SOLES...I WANT TO MASSAGE THEM SO VERY, VERY BADLY..." Undyne moaned with arousal as she drooled at the mouth and licked her lips, completely and utterly mesmerized by Asriel's smooth, crinkly, masculine, and just generally sexy soles.
"Yeah, THAT too..." Alphys groaned and rolled her eyes, slapping Undyne across the face to bring her back into reality, "...but also the fact that ASRIEL IS AT OUR FREAKING TABLE!" Alphys roared angrily while Asriel slyly winked at her and chuckled evilly to himself.
"Well, he IS my freaking SON, after all, so I'm afraid that for the time being, you're just going to have to freaking DEAL with it, okay?!" Toriel scolded her angrily, pulling her literally just-cooked pumpkin pie out of the oven with her adorable little mitts and setting it down atop the island as she marched over into the dining room and handed out utensils wrapped in napkins to everyone (including herself, of course).
"Um...Mommy?" Asriel raised his hand up in the air like a kindergartener and asked Toriel.
"Yes, my precious little baby?" Toriel asked him back as she grabbed a massive pitcher of lemonade off of the island in the kitchen, carried it over into the dining room and set it atop the table.
"I need to go poo-poo real bad, mommy!" Asriel whined and whimpered and sobbed. "My tummy hurts so much, and I've barely even been potty-trained yet! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
"Oh, puh-LEEZE, you were toilet-trained, like, literally TWO WHOLE YEARS AGO!" Toriel laughed and giggled snidely, patting her literal five-year-old-in-a-twenty-five-year-old's-body of a son and escorting her to the guest bathroom up on the third floor of the house, in which he then proceeded to spend an obnoxiously extensive amount of time trying to get his feces to finally come out while everyone else waited for what seemed like half an hour for him to finish.
In the meantime, Alphys and Undyne quickly found out, much to their dismay, that Mettaton had sent his detachable hands over into the house using their power of rocket-propelled flight as they suddenly crawled up out of the basement and made their way up the stairs into the kitchen as well as the back hallway section of the dining room while Toriel was busy making sure that Asriel wasn't going to end up making an utterly despicable poopy mess of himself.
"Oh, god, WHAT IS THAT?" Undyne gasped and stammered in fright, hugging Alphys for comfort as Mettaton's hands came crawling into the room like giant, five-legged, hairless tarantulas and promptly began poking about in just about everything that they could get their fingers on; the numerous atrocities that they ended up committing included breaking the doors of several cabinet drawers right off of their hinges, spilling water and ice all over the kitchen floor through the water/ice dispensers on the refridgerator, poking holes in the walls, denting the refridgerator itself, attempting to blend themselves in the blender, breaking quite a few plates and glasses from the upper cabinets, leaving numerous cracks in the kitchen tiles with their own sheer weight, eating quite a bit of Toriel's metalware through the wormlike mouths of their fingers (don't ask), cooking thick soup on MAX power in the microwave without even bothering to add a protective cover on top of the bowl, breaking the doorknobs right off of both the pantry door AND the cleaning-supply closet door, throwing freshly cooked pumpkin and apple pies right into Alphys' and Undyne's faces, eating large chunks out of the carpet, and even causing shelf-wide avalanches in both the nearby DVD closet AND the pantry as well!
"JESUS MONKEY-HUMPING AIDS-RIDDEN CHRIST, STOP! STOP THAT RIGHT NOW! JUST F#%&ING STOP IT!" Alphys and Undyne screamed, the former grabbing a metal broomstick out of the nearby cleaning-supply closet and bludgeoning Mettaton's right hand with it while the latter simply stabbed Mettaton's left hand with her energy spear, causing both hands to stop dead in their tracks.
"ALL in a day's work, am I right?" Alphys sighed happily in relief, examining the prettily painted fingernails on her left hand and stroking them with her equally valentine-red thumbnail as she crossed her legs, closed her eyes, leaned backward smugly with none other than her trademark adorably-toothy grin on her face, and pressed her elbow against what she thought was going to be a wall but unfortunately was actually the expensive glass vase atop one of the dining room's decorative tables, causing both her and Undyne to scream at the tops of their lungs and jump nearly their entire dwarfishly miniscule body heights into the air from the sudden incredibly loud and ear-piercing noise of the glass shattering everywhere.
"OH, GOD...OH, NO...OH GOD, OH NO, OH GOD, OH NO, OH GOD, OH NO, OH GOD, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?!" Alphys stammered and screamed in terror as she had a complete nervous breakdown, spinning around in a circle and clutching her head and screaming at the mere thought of what Toriel was going to end up doing to her and Undyne.
"HURRY UP AND GRAB IT AND THROW IT OUT!" Undyne yelled in a hyperactive fit of panic, squatting down on the floor like a frog (or dog) with her bony little knees, grabbing Mettaton's left hand from underneath with both arms, and foolishly attempting to lift it off of the ground while Alphys did the exact same with his right, putting both of the adorable little dorks into rather...ahem...INTERESTING positions. "COME ON, ALPHYS, ON MY MARK! READY, SET-"
"AHEM!" Toriel growled lividly at Alphys and Undyne as she finally walked back down into the kitchen and saw the absolutely atrocious mess that Mettaton's hands had just made of just about literally every single thing in the kitchen and dining room except for the Thanksgiving dinner itself, as well as what appeared to be none other than Alphys and Undyne attempting to...ahem...INTEGRATE with an already-unsettlingly gigantic pair of sentient robot hands.
Giantess World
