Alfred Tennyson was a man born with numerous advantages. He was tall, dark, and handsome. Alfred possessed a presence which made him the alpha male of any group. He was self-assured, bold, and athletic. However, Alfred’s biggest advantage was that he was born into a family with a net worth in the billions. Alfred’s father, Walt Tennyson, was the owner of the largest hedge fund in the nation – a hedge fund for which Alfred already knew he would work at after college regardless of his academic performance. Alfred knew that he could do anything he wanted and that he could get anything he wanted. It was his birthright.
Alfred pitied most of his classmates at Havenbrook University. He had the power over them – whether they liked it or not. Hell, the business school at Havenbrook was called the Tennyson Business School. Alfred didn’t visit it much or any building at the university associated with academics though – he had a fraternity to keep in shape, much alcohol to consume, and many women with whom he needed to have sexual intercourse. School simply was deprioritized – not that it mattered, Alfred was a Finance major and the professors were most likely told that they couldn’t give the son of the university’s largest donor a grade below a B-. It was certainly good to be a Tennyson.
At the Kappa Alpha fraternity house, Alfred was having a blast tonight. While pledging was over, one of his brothers, Justin Rosenberg, had told him how badly he wanted a summer internship with Tennyson Funds.
“How badly do you want it”, asked Alfred with a smirk. Justin didn’t respond.
“I think you must want to work for my father desperately. It certainly would open a lot of doors which wouldn’t be available to you otherwise.” Alfred noticed the look of fear in Justin’s eyes. Alfred smiled – Justin knew what he was capable of doing.
“Justin”, said Alfred, “if you wish for me to put in a word to my father, I would appreciate it if you would eat a pair of my dirty underpants.” Justin grimaced but Alfred could tell that the lowlife was actually considering it.
“I will allow you to cut them up”, continued Alfred, “so you do not choke on them in one swallow. However, if you wish to do this – the brotherhood must watch. They must see that you are willing to bow down to me and surrender your dignity so that you can perhaps get the opportunity to work for such a prestigious company.”
Justin sighed. Alfred knew that Justin was a straight A student and possessed many of the credentials and qualities to work at his father’s firm. However, Alfred had the ability to smear people to his father and explain in great detail why they cannot work at Tennyson Equities. Alfred had done that in the past – dignity comes with a price when you are not a Tennyson.
“Alfred”, responded Justin solemnly, “I shall do it.”
“Splendid. These are my lucky underpants and they have brought me much luck.”
Alfred went around the fraternity house, knocking on doors and summoning the brotherhood. Alfred got a sick twist out of perverting and twisting what was supposed to be for important and serious matters which affect the brotherhood – some crap he learned when he was a freshman pledge himself. Now that Alfred was the President, he could do whatever he wanted.
Alfred pulled out the “scared candles” from his closet and lit them up by the back of the foyer for the ceremony. Alfred took off his clothes and began to piss on his underwear – the dressing. Alfred then took a pair of scissors and cut his underwear into ten pieces as he promised Justin he would. Alfred then put on the “sacred Kappa Alpha robe” and barked, “BROTHERS – PLEASE ENTER THE FOYER FOR AN URGENT MATTER!!”
One by one – Alfred’s brothers had entered the foyer.
“Steve”, said Alfred, “I wish for you to use your phone to take pictures of the ceremony and I would like for you to send these pictures to Allison.”
“You’re a fucking prick, man”, said Steve with a laugh, “this is going to be so awesome.”
“This is an efficient way for me to get rid of my undergarments and for Justin to land his dream job.”
Alfred knew that a recommendation from him was equivalent to “You’re hired”.
The lights dimmed and Alfred spoke to the brotherhood.
“My fellow brothers of the Chi Xi chapter of the Kappa Alpha Order – today, I have brought you here because you shall witness a generous act upon my part. I shall help our brother, Justin, obtain an internship offer for Tennyson Equities. We know that Justin is a man with a strong work ethic and a high academic aptitude. However, we also know that Justin isn’t exactly the most adventurous or spontaneous type of gentleman – so I figured that I would give him the chance to learn to become those things to work for a firm which deals with high-risk investments on a daily basis – Justin shall eat my undergarments. If he does, I will tell my father to hire him. If he does not, I shall tell my father not to hire him.”
A few of his brothers groaned but most were hooting and hollering with excitement for the show. Alfred loved the power.
“And you will all be disappointed to know that I do not have plans to show my genitals to you today – they are the largest and most wonderful genitals one has ever seen.”
“Justin”, said Alfred, “you have fifteen minutes to eat my underwear or you will never work for Tennyson Equities. Steven – you must start taking pictures. I am sure Allison will be delighted to see what her lovesick economics tutor does in his spare time.”
Alfred needed to stay calm and dignified but inside he was overjoyed with the sight. Justin held up the first piece of the underwear and groaned when he realized that they were moist. Justin took the first piece, closed his eyes and put it in his mouth.
Cheers. This must have been like what his ancestors witnessed when peasants cheered over an execution of one of their own. Noble entertainment created by noble people.
“ONE”, shouted Alfred. The crowd of brothers said “ONE” after him.
*cough* *cough* *cough*
“C’mon boy”, said Alfred, “five more to go and you only have seven minutes left.”
Steve was dutifully taking pictures. Alfred could see a few tears make their way out of Justin’s eyes.
Alfred saw many gleeful faces – perhaps most of them were actually horrified or disgusted by the show but they knew what Alfred expected of them and they didn’t want to not meet expectations.
Justin put another one in his mouth.
“Did you send the pics to Allison yet?”
“I want to send them all at once – brah.”
“Splendid idea.. oh… SEVEN!!!” “SEVEN!!!”
“Uhhhh”, said Justin softly, “I.. uhhhh.. don’t think I can do this anymore. I think I’m about to puke.”
“You only have three minutes left – boy. Don’t you want to be employed with the prestigious hedge fund in the country? You have always wanted the most prestigious and finest things – haven’t you? I know your passions.”
“C’mon Justin”, said Kevin – a scrawny low-life, “you don’t have to finish this. There are other employment opportunities out there.”
“Oh”, spat Alfred, “you’re just some social pariah of an engineer – what the hell do you know about employment opportunities? There is nothing better than being with the Tennysons.”
“Someday you will get what you deserve”, responded Kevin with an unusual rush of anger, “I resign from what used to be a respectable fraternity.”
“Good – get the fuck out of here, you bitch. If you ever set foot in this house again, I will make your life eternally miserable. The Tennysons have power everywhere at this university – they can destroy that stupid shrink ray project you’re working on.”
“Fuck you – Justin’s fifteen minutes are up by the way”, said Kevin, “what are you going to do?”
“I shall be generous”, said Alfred, “Justin – due to Kevin’s disruptive behavior, you get three more minutes to eat the last two.” Kevin rushed to his room – ready to move out hopefully, thought Alfred.
Justin looked at the last two pieces of underwear solemnly.
“EAT EAT EAT”, chanted Alfred. Most of the brothers joined in.
Justin picked up the ninth piece and put it in his mouth – “NINE” “NINE”
“90 seconds left”, said Alfred with a hint of impatience.
Justin began to take the last piece but he faltered and dropped the piece to the ground. Justin then began to vomit all over the Victorian-style floor of the Kappa Alpha house.
Time was up.
Many of the brothers rushed to Justin to help him out. Alfred laughed and said, “I’m sorry, Justin – but you failed. You shall not work for Tennyson Equities. Sorry but you failed the entrance examination – so sad.” Nobody dared to defy Alfred – not even the boy who had puked his guts and parts of the demigod’s underpants.
Justin was too sick to react. Alfred watched as two or three took Justin to his room to rest and half a dozen began to clean the floor – ridding it of what was a body’s natural rejection of superiority. If Justin was a superior being – he would have been able to consume the superiority of Alfred.
“Steve – did you send the pictures?”
“All of them”, responded Steve, “I even got one where Justin was puking – so hilarious!”
Alfred walked over to Steve and gave him a fist bump – well-deserved.
“Brothers, make sure this place is cleaned up – I plan to go out and find some lady friends to bring to the house tonight. There will be time for debauchery later.”
Alfred loved his life. He could do whatever he wanted when he wanted. Now it was time for him to grab a lady by the pussy for a grand old time. Nobody could say no to a Tennyson.