Wherever I was, there was no light. No furniture either, as I learned by carefully walking back and forth across the small room until I was certain I had covered every square inch. It was a small room, about twelve of me wide in every direction, and aside from some gaps in the wall just large enough to accommodate my fist completely featureless. Every surface was smooth and soft enough to give a little if I pressed hard enough aside from the thin metal sheet outside. The only major feature was the overpoweringly sweet smell that permeated the air no matter where I was.
A tremendous force gripped the chamber, and inertia threw me into the wall when the whole structure suddenly jolted forward. It halted just as abruptly, launching me into the opposite wall, then dropped a great distance. When the fall stopped there was no great impact or deafening crash, it simply ceased plummeting. Something beyond the metallic layer was moving it, subjecting the building to its whims, like a giant hand had grasped it.
This stillness did not last long. I had barely settled on the floor before movement resumed, though it was much less severe this time. It still tossed me about freely, bouncing me off the floor and into walls in what seemed like a long, unceasing cycle of motion. The spartan accommodations proved to be a mixed blessing during this. While they provided nothing for me to grab onto so I could keep from being thrown around, there were also no sharp corners for me to land on. Bizarre as the whole situation was, I considered myself lucky that I would be walking away with just a few bruises.
The tumultuous landing finally came, and with a thud the entire chamber shook. I felt the impact through my whole body, my insides quivering as the force passed through me. For now, I simply laid in repose. It felt like I was still being moved, though everything was at rest. Music came from outside, the only indications of civilization for a while, and I listened closely for some hints as to where I was. Before I could even identify the tune it faded, lasting less than a second before fading back to silence.
I prepared to endure more movement when the structure started tipping, but it held steady at a slight incline. From above, I heard metal crinkle and crumple while the building rocked back and forth, then the metal began to tear. With one long, continuous screech the metallic sheet was torn apart, the cleft passing in front a hole in the side and continuing past it. For the first time light streamed into my room, allowing me to see where I was. It was a thoroughly unimpressive dark brown, completely smooth and uniform aside from a small amount of bubbling where the walls and ceiling met. While I still had no idea where I was, I might be able to poke through the flap of torn metal to get my bearings.
A moment later, there was no need. My ears were assaulted by a cacophony of metal rapidly being crushed, the flat, shimmering surface reduced to a small band running along the perimeter in an instant. Something new took its place blocking the window, and I studied it with the light managing get past its edges. The broad object was almost as tall as the building, its white surface decorated with hundreds of small, round grooves in the soft material. They emanated from a central point, with one laid on top of the other as they got further away, forming an entrancing pattern.
Before I could touch the object, it pulled away and I involuntarily gasped at the reveal. Outside the window, across a broad plain of blue felt and white wood, was a gigantic woman. She appeared to be sitting, but her head and torso alone stood several hundred feet taller than the mesa. Straight pink hair flowed from her head and past her shoulders, and her turquoise eyes faced forward, away from me. From this great distance her features looked delicate, with a thin nose, narrow lips, and skin that showed no sign of the sun’s rays, though I could scarcely imagine what they would look like closer.
I ran toward the window and reached an arm through it, desperately waving it for her attention. “Help!” I shouted as loud as I could. “Help me, I’m trapped in here!” No reaction from her, not even as I repeatedly yelled. Even if she did not speak English, the noise should have gotten her attention. Either she did not care, or I was too small, too far away for her to hear.
Without even looking in my direction, she reached for me, causing my heart to leap. Her fingers clamped around two corners, leaving the window unobstructed, and effortlessly lifted the building. A jolt of sudden, swift movement knocked me onto my back, but not before it tilted enough for me to see out the window. The metal had been crumpled until it was flat again, and the bare, reflective material was interspersed with bright colors from the exterior. It bore a striking resemblance to a candy wrapper, only it was large enough to contain a house.
While her hand carried it through the air, I was powerless to overcome the g-forces holding me against the floor. It was a brief trip, however, and when it stopped inertia threw me against the wall. I grabbed onto the windowsill above, causing crumbs to flake off as I pulled myself up, and looked outside. The only thing I could see, no matter which direction I looked, was the soft, pink skin of her lips.
As I stared at the monstrous lips in front of me, I hit me what was making that unbearably sweet smell: chocolate. The entire building was made of it and I was sealed inside. “No, stop!” I yelled. “Someone’s in the house, don’t eat it!” Still no response from her, or any indication she could hear me.
Her lips parted, revealing the terrible maw behind them. A thick strand of saliva stretched across the opening, holding steady despite the tension. Perfectly straight white teeth lined the rim, and an enormous pink tongue arched up in eager anticipation, displaying thousands of tiny taste buds. She pushed the chocolate house into her mouth, and I backpedaled away from the window as fast as I could, only stopping when I ran into the wall.
She brought the building partway into her mouth, then closed her lips around it. Her teeth gripped the chocolate morsel and began grinding into it, making the structure creak under the pressure. With a loud crack her teeth tore through it and I found myself staring at my reflection in her enamel. They clicked together, then she pulled the house from between her lips. I watched in horror as her tongue slipped between her teeth and slid across them, gathering up crumbs with saliva before retreating behind the white bone wall.
Slowly she lowered me from her face, stopping when I was level with her collar bone, and turned her hand so the hole she had just chewed was pointed up. The only thing I could see was her pointed chin moving up and down, carefully grinding the chocolate into paste with her molars. Each motion of her jaw made her straight hair bounce, a small distraction from the carnage happening inside her mouth. She swallowed, and I watched the thick lump move down her slender throat and into her chest.
If I did not do something, I would be in the next lump. One more time I tried to get her attention. “Hey! I’m in your candy, don’t eat me!” I begged. “Please, just pull me out! Save me!” My last desperate pleas fell on deaf ears, if they reached her at all. It was up to me to escape.
With the house cut in half, I just may be able to climb out and escape. She held the remaining part straight up, giving me no help from any incline, but I may be able to grab where the walls had been sheared off. I wound up by squatting deep before launching myself into the air, stretching my arms as high as they could go, and just scraped the bottom of an indentation left by one of her incisors. Knowing my life depended on it, I backed up and got a running start, pushing my foot off the wall to get a precious few extra inches. This time a hand grabbed onto the edge, my fingers finding a small pit revealed by her canine, and I rushed to get my other arm up so I was no longer dangling from the wall.
Unfortunately, that was when she decided it was time for the next bite. Air rushed over me as she lifted the chocolate to her mouth, tearing my hands free of their tenuous grip and throwing me back into the ruined candy house. Her lips parted, and over the remaining parts of the walls I saw her shining teeth flecked with bits of chocolate and the dark ridges of her palate. She placed it halfway inside her mouth and closed her lips, forming a tight seal with me on the wrong side. Using a single finger she pushed it the rest of the way in, lubricating it with saliva before dropping it onto her tongue.
Once I was inside she closed her lips, casting the vast cavern of her mouth into darkness. Her tongue jerked to the side, tossing the remaining candy into the air to be caught by her teeth. Tremendous molars snagged it out of the air and held it still, then began pressing down. Chocolate creaked under pressure from her jaw, and I knew it was now or never. Not knowing where I would end up, I took a running start and jumped, leaving the house behind.
I landed on something wide and soft, slimy with a coat of saliva, that welcomed me into it. Her tongue. While I had been hoping to get between her gums and cheek, I was not ready to surrender yet. Once the tongue reformed, pushing me out, I tried to get back on my feet so I could run. The slick ground made it difficult to get any traction, and even my hands slipped helplessly on her taste buds. After fumbling on her tongue for a few seconds, I gave up and decided to crawl on my hands and feet. Progress would be slow, but it would be something.
The chocolate shell between her molars exploded with a great crash, sending fragments of candy throughout her mouth. Bits and pieces rained down on me, and the sudden noise caused me to jerk. I lost what little hold I had on her tongue and slipped off, falling into her frenulum. With a horrible squishing sound I sank into the tender tissue. It was even more difficult to fight against than her tongue, since it was so sensitive it formed around my body no matter how it moved. Standing was impossible; my feet simply pushed it down, and it felt like I was trapped in a warm, pulsating pit.
Her jaw continued moving, and a deafening grinding sound filled her mouth as her molars mashed the chocolate into paste. As her teeth broke it down it mixed with saliva, forming a runny slurry that ran over her tongue and onto the frenulum around me. In just a few seconds I was engulfed in chewed chocolate already undergoing the first stage of digestion. I tried to swim my way out but there was too much of it, and more was always coming.
The slurry flowed like a river toward her gullet, and the current carried me with it. I tried to fight against it, but it was too strong, and the rushing mixture of chocolate and saliva was too much for me. Her gullet opened with a sickening schlorp and the river cascaded down it, dragging me along for the ride. It closed behind me and her throat muscles immediately gripped my body, forcing me along her throat. My struggles against them were vain, and they dragged me down until I landed in her stomach for digestion.
Jackie felt the shrink move down her throat, his tiny movements tickling her insides. They always made the candy houses a little sweeter. She looked forlornly at the wrapper and regretted only grabbing one. There were probably still a bunch left, but if she kept making trips to the kitchen she would never get started on her reading. Besides, they were favors for the incoming pledges. Sighing, she crumpled the wrapper into a ball and grinned at the tinges inside her stomach, then got to work.