This was a nice feel-good chapter. It came off as very sweet and wholesome, and it sounds like that will contrast quite nicely with the next chapter, where we're likely to get into the darker, more fetishy stuff.

I really like the unique dynamic between Emily and Jane. In particular, Jane makes this relationship feel different, as her acknowledgement that even most of the humans trying to help the Little Folk don't view them as people displays her appreciation of Emily viewing her as an equal. In most of these stories, the tinies are either terrified of giants or feel that they deserve to be treated like people, so it's refreshing to see a little person who has simply adapted to the way the world views her kind, only to find someone to fill her with hope and maybe even a renewed sense of self-worth.

Emily's wholesomeness also shines through brilliantly throughout the chapter. Even the threat to Suki (which I meant to mention last chapter), while seemingly out of character at first glance, actually fits her really well when you realize that she's stepping out of her comfort zone for Jane's sake. This love-motivated threat gave her some depth as a character, and it made an impact with the reader (and Suki, apparently) as well.

And her immediate reaction when getting into her room makes a lot of sense. She clearly has a strong sense of personal accountability and feels like she put Jane in danger, despite not having any way to know what Suki was going to do beforehand. But this also contrasts really, really well with Jane's worldview that I mentioned above. While Emily feels like she put Jane in harm's way, Jane is used to the world trying to kill her. Emily has no idea what that's like, so she ends up being more psychologically affected by the whole thing than Jane, the one who was almost eaten. Jane ends up being the one that has to comfort Emily. You would think it would be the other way around, but with the way things have been set up, this actually makes a lot of sense.

Jane's pep talk was inspirational and fun to read, but I do feel like there was something that could have been done to build to that moment in order to give it even more of an impact. I've mentioned in previous reviews that those earlier chapters could have benefited from showing just a bit more attention to Jane. After reading this chapter, I feel that way even more so. In particular, a quick reference or two to Jane during Emily and Shana's "philosophical debate" on Little Folk, namely, Jane's reaction to Emily arguing that tinies are actually people, could have hinted at Jane's view of giant-Little Folk relations. Relaying a sense of shock from Jane at Emily's words then would have provided the reader something to draw from during Jane's speech now, and I think that would have made a touching scene even more poignant.

That's not to say that the scene was hurt by not doing this. I just think that including stuff like that when you know how a character is feeling and what's coming ahead can give your story a bit more punch, if that makes sense.

I think you did a solid job of this with Maya's crush on Emily. the narrative revealed little bits of the relationship between the two, such as Maya noting that Emily was the only one that was nice to her when she visited the dorm, Emily wanting to comfort Maya when Shana called her a cockroach, and Maya looking to Emily for protection when Shana abused her, so it kind of made sense that Maya would have feelings for Emily. That being said, there were a couple more direct ways this could have been conveyed as well, such as having Maya be nervous, maybe even stutter a bit, when greeting Emily (that might be a bit too obvious, but I'm just throwing examples out there) or having Maya suddenly get a bit more aggressive when Shana grabbed Emily (this would have especially stood out with how meek Maya had been up to that point).

Again, I think what you did works pretty well, but I just wanted to suggest some additional things you could have done to help set this development up.

Speaking of Maya, I have to admit, I was a bit nervous to see an underage character in this story (this is a fetish site, after all), but I decided to see how things played out before rushing to judgment. I'm glad I did, as she has brought an innocent, wholesome tone to the story and hasn't been "fetish-ized" at all. I feel like you may have addressed this directly when she talked about giving Emily and Jane privacy because she wasn't old enough to think about that stuff yet. I appreciated that!

But yeah, this story seems more narrative-driven than fetish-driven, so I'm okay with Maya's role within it so far. Like I said, I was on the fence on this, and this chapter pushed me over it, so I figured I'd say something.

As for criticism, I did think that the dialogue came off as a bit clunky at times here, particularly from Maya. At times, she doesn't really come off as a 13-year-old girl. Jane also spoke pretty formally (for lack of a better term), but admittedly, we don't know much about Little Folk culture yet, so that might be normal for them. I guess based on the way she was dressed and how little she's said so far, this surprised me a bit. I would also say that these two seem to speak in a very similar manner.

It's tricky, but distinguishing different speaking styles for your characters can really help them stand out. Take Emily, for example. So far, she has spoken primarily in shorter sentences and avoided longer lines of dialogue. She also has been portrayed as quiet, kind, and maybe just a bit shy, so that fits her well. It also makes her different from all of the other characters we've met so far.

Maybe for a younger character like Maya, throw in a bit more slang terms and have her be more talkative. These are traits that can convey a youthful friendliness. For Jane, you might be on the right track. She has been mostly quiet until she's comfortable around someone, but now we're starting to see her open up to Emily and even Maya a bit. That seems like a reasonable approach for someone living in a world that's mostly cruel to her kind. Maybe put a bit more of her background into her word choices, though. Does she live in the walls of some academic or does she spend all her time on the streets foraging for food? How familiar with human culture is she (calling Shana Black Titan instead of Brown Titan seems to imply at least some sense of familiarity)? Things like that would certainly affect her vocabulary.

Dialogue is really hard to write, so don't take this criticism as harsh. This chapter definitely works as written. But nailing these difficult things can bring your writing to the next level.

Great work so far overall! The gentle aspects of this chapter really hit home. It will be interesting to see how well you handle the decidedly less than gentle aspects of the next one.

“Tomayto, tomahto.” Shana replied, shrugging with a smirk.

I know the misspellings are for emphasis, and that was definitely the way to get the point across here, but part of me still wishes that you just spelled "tomato" twice. I don't know why, but I find that thought pretty funny for some reason.

But on a more serious note, I think you did a great job of using dialogue to give us important details on this world, particularly the status of tinies within it. Emily and Shana's little back and forth was both entertaining and informative.

That technique also made the portion of the chapter in which you used the narrative to explain some details not come off as exposition-y. The explanation about those fighting for little folks' rights was written in a way that followed the flow of the conversation, and those three brief one-sentence paragraphs came off more as a deeper look at Emily's perspective and less as an infodump.

And I like the small additions to the first chapter. Seeing that Jane was wearing torn pieces of cloth tells us a lot about how tinies live day-to-day. And did the original version of the chapter note that Maya was 13, or did I just miss that the first time around?

I do have a couple of knits to pick, if that's alright. These are just me being picky since you seem to be looking to continue working on your craft. These are some things that I think can make the difference between a good story and a great one, as opposed to a good story or a bad one, if that makes sense.

The first piece of constructive criticism is that I didn't feel as though Shana's dialogue matched up with the character you set up in the first chapter. She was giving off major tomboy bully vibes when you first described her, but she came off as a bit stuffy when she spoke, and her word choices seemed a bit uncommon.

Here's an example:

 “So riddle me this, Barbie. If they are people, then why hasn't anyone ever been jailed or even just tried for killing them?”

I feel like the words "jailed" and "tried," while used correctly here, aren't being used in a way that people commonly speak, making Shana come off as sounding odd. The "riddle me this" isn't odd in general, but I'm not sure that it fits the character that you've set up.

She's your character, so maybe it isn't my place to say, but I think something like this sounds more appropriate for a tomboy bully:

Okay then, Barbie. If they're people, then how come nobody's ever gone to court or even been arrested for killing them?"

(I did think the Barbie insult was a nice touch, by the way. That's just the type of thing a tomboy would make fun of somebody like Emily for, I think: assuming that she's a stuck-up airhead just because she's blonde.)

I think you could even lose the "gone to court" and have arrested stand on its own, but I left it in to replace tried.

Not to beat a dead horse, but there was one more example that stuck out for me:

“This farce has been going on for too long. Show me what you have in hand of your own choosing before I decide to do it myself.”

To me, this sounds like something an old-fashioned noble (or at least a rich, "went to the best schools" kind of kid) would say. The word farce, again, doesn't sound like it belongs in the mouth of a tomboy. I also think that for a bully like Shana, the threat would have played better had the violence been a bit more directly implied.

Here's another way this could have been stated:

"This shit's gone on for too long. Show me what's in your hand before I make you."

"Shit" (or "crap" if you don't want the character to swear) sounds more crude then farce, and therefore, to me, sound more like something a bully or tomboy might say. I also think "make you" sounds more like a threat than "decide to do it myself," which requires more context to realize what that means (the context isn't lacking here, but my point is that "make you" is simpler).

In both of my examples, I also tried to shorten the sentences a bit, make them a bit crisper. I feel like bullies tend to keep their sentences short and to the point. It makes what they say appear more threatening, I think. Notice I used "nobody's" and "shit's" instead of "nobody has" and "shit has." I also cut off the extra verbiage "of your own choosing" entirely in the second example.

Your pretty good at writing dialogue in general, but the next step is to really hone in on the way in which each character speaks. Someone like Shana, at least based on my interpretation, should sound a bit more rough around the edges, for example. Things like that are tricky, but they really help your characters come alive and distinguish themselves from each other.

The other "knit" is that I would have liked to have seen a bit more of Jane in this chapter. I think Emily and Shana driving the conversation was the right call, but maybe Jane could have tried to chime in only to be shut down harshly by Shana, which would fit into the effort to establish tinies place in this world. Or perhaps taking a quick sentence between lines of dialogue once in a while to describe Jane's reactions to what's being said.

Maybe Jane tries to hide between Emily's fingers as Shana talks about tinies being killed. Or she could tremble with either fear or anger as Shana tells Emily that little folk aren't people. She could even look up in admiration at Emily for standing up for her kind. Or it could have been a neat bit of foreshadowing to have her shiver a bit as she catches Suki stealing a weird glance at her.

Now, you did do this once in the chapter, when Maya tried to comfort Jane only to have the little folk shiver and Maya stop as a result.  But as Emily and Shana got into it, I found myself really curious how Jane was taking all this. So I guess my advice is that you can show reactions, both directly or indirectly, for characters that aren't playing a role in a conversation if what's being talked about is of interest to them, if that makes sense.

But despite my long-winded, overdetailed ramblings above, I thought this was a really good chapter. I'm pretty invested in what happens to Jane, and getting your audience to care about your characters is really the hardest part of writing, so well done! I'm eager to see where you take this story next!

Good to see you back! And don't worry about taking a couple months to put out a chapter. You certainly don't owe us anything. In fact, I think I'm about two months out from putting out another chapter in my own story as well, so you're not the only one getting caught up in stuff.

Speaking of which, I hope whatever you're dealing with is getting better!

As for the chapter itself, again, I love the complexity of your characters. I just kind of assumed Shana simply bought into the public perception that tinies weren't really people, so I was pretty stunned to see that the reason she became known as the "Black Titan" was because she felt so guilty about accidentally stepping on them that she had to force herself not to care, lest she go insane. And again, Shana ends up being a good person, and everything we thought we knew about her has taken on a whole new meaning.

Not only that, but given how upset Shana gets when she finds out that the Little Folk probably left their weakest out there specifically for people like her to step on them, she gets really upset. I feel like the Shana at the beginning of the story probably would have shrugged it off and not really cared one way or the other, but the fact that she got pissed over Jane's revelation shows that Shana is really starting to get back in touch with the real her. She's starting (and emphasis on starting) to show people that she actually cares about them. She's starting to stop pretending that she doesn't care about about anything (tinies in particular). She's starting to show that she's actually a pretty good Big Sis!

Watching Shana develop like this throughout the last 10 or so chapters has been quite a rewarding surprise in this story!

The revelation about the Little Folk leaving those least able to contribute to their society out for Shana (and presumably others as well) to step on is a bit ironic. Shana has been made out by the tinies as the Black Titan, the one who literally walks on them without a care, but really the only reason she didn't care is because the tinies themselves unwittingly made her that way in the first place! It's kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy when you think about it like that.

And while it's heartless that Little Folk abandon their neediest like that, Shana's right that it does make sense for them to do so. With life being so hard for all of them, they can't really afford to look out for the weakest among them. Honestly, I more blame the bigs for this problem, since most of them view the tinies as bugs and even most of those who want better treatment for them see them more like pets than anything else. If most humans viewed them the way that Emily does, they could probably create a thriving society, one that would be able to take care of those most in need. Instead, they have to adjust to the harshness of their dark reality.

We saw a bit of an edge to Emily in this chapter, and I kind of liked it. She admitted that she hated Shana and even showed some anger toward her. Now that we know about Emily's dark past, it makes sense that she has some of that in her, even if she's still sweet at the same time.

Also, now that she has gotten past the barriers between Shana and her, I could see the two bonding down the road (once Shana starts getting a little more comfortable letting her guard down). Those two have a lot more in common than was shown at the start of the story. They're kind of like two sides of the same coin: Shana is a good person wrapped around a rude, uncaring facade, while Emily is super sweet, yet has a lingering darkness from her past hang over her head.

I also get why Emily might be mad at Jane for not being so forthcoming about her people abandoning the weak and frail, but I hope she can understand that there are several reasons why Jane wouldn't bring it up, not the least of which is how Emily reacts whenever Jane casually starts talking about how terrible life for tinies really is. Now the question is, what is Emily planning to do with this information. Is she going to try going to the park and saving some of these abandoned Little Folk? Hmm, I wonder if she might see anyone she knows if she goes out looking for tinies to save ...

Overall, this was a great chapter! After going a couple months without writing, this was actually pretty polished, I think. Good work, and I look forward to seeing what comes next, even if we have to wait a bit to find out!

I really like that we got a heavy dose of Jane these last chapters.

Early on in this story, I noted that it seemed to me that Jane didn't really have much of a voice of her own. Well, you've certainly rectified that! And while she started to stand out much earlier than this, these last two chapters really let her shine!

In particular, I think the tiny's unique blend of silliness and seriousness should be hard to pull off, but it just feels natural in this story, especially here. The combination of the dark reality Jane has faced for almost her entire life and her gradually diminishing ignorance of how humans live has allowed her to walk this fine line like a sidewalk rather than a tightrope.

That conversation with Emily went really deep. While we've gotten glimpses into Jane's inner workings from time to time through the narrative, it was both chilling and, in an odd way, refreshing to hear her say that she would choose death over becoming a pet. I think the scenario being discussed here is a difficult debate: to live a life of relative luxury but have no agency or go through hell every day but maintain your ability to choose how you go through that hell. I don't think there's an easy answer there, but Jane's declaration here makes her unique among most of the tinies written about on this site, as, from what I've read, most of them would elect to survive at all costs.

Personally, I like the character and fortitude Jane shows with that choice.

Then Jane kind of goes back on that choice, which actually makes a lot of sense as well. Having a taste of a better life has pulled her away from that old mentality and saying she would rather die than go back to her old life. I do think it's easier to choose harsh freedom over pampered enslavement when you've only ever experienced the former. So of course getting a taste of a better life would make the thought of returning to the terrible day-to-day living of the Little Folk unbearable for her.

Not to mention that she doesn't even need to make that choice, since Emily actually views her as a person rather than a pet.

But this realization and almost struggle that Jane goes through over the course of this discussion is really interesting. I feel like she's discovering this change in her mentality in real time, displaying the influence that Emily has had on her. Jane's giant friend is dedicated to respecting individual life, which has led her away from that community-first philosophy that's responsible for the death of so many weak and infirmed tinies. Now Jane wants to live for herself, and that's okay.

I also like that Jane acknowledged her own "weakness" in running to Emily for help against that cat rather than "freely choosing" to share the fate of her friends. No matter how principled we may be, there's almost always a point in which survival takes priority.

But the earlier part of that conversation was also pretty significant, I think. Emily, despite what she may think, is a truly wonderful soul, so seeing her so upset over the dark reality faced by the Little Folk makes perfect sense. And her natural desire to help sets up a great debate over how much a person can do to combat systemic problems in society.

While Emily wanting to save those tinies is noble, Jane makes a good point here. There's not much one person can do to fight against such a huge problem, one that most of human society doesn't know about and likely wouldn't care about even if they did. Little Folk lead hard lives, and sacrifices do need to be made for the sake of their community. Yeah, this could easily be resolved if the bigs were all like Emily, but they're just not. Some don't care, while others are happy to kill the tinies themselves. Even the ones that do care mostly see the tinies as pets rather than people. Emily would have to not only convince the Little Folk to trust humanity, the very reason why they suffer so severely, but she would also have to convince her fellow humans that the tinies are actual people in need of help and deserving of respect. Good luck with that!

At the same time, however, Jane's wavering on her principles seems to open the door to the possibility that a caring person can make a difference. Emily has done just that with Jane without even doing anything out of the ordinary (helping people is second nature to Emily, after all). This may not be a problem that Emily can truly fix, but she can do something to make things better. That's a powerful message.

And then there's the Emily's offense at Jane keeping this whole issue a secret from her. Emily comes off almost as feeling betrayed that Jane would keep this from her, showing how deep their friendship has grown in the first place. Then there's her being upset that Jane didn't tell her in order to shield her from all this. I get where Emily is coming from here, but this has actually been set up pretty well in previous chapters, as Jane has casually mentioned some of the horrors the tinies go through only for Emily to be visibly affected just by hearing about them. So it makes sense that Jane would be concerned about upsetting Emily by telling her about something terrible that the little lady thinks the blonde giantess can do nothing about.

There are some really deep concepts that come out in this conversation, but they come out in a natural and engaging way, which isn't easy to do. I've pointed this out in previous reviews, but you have a way of addressing them in a fluid way through your characters, which is something I really appreciate.

Oh, and you mentioned before that you are having a hard time including "fetishy" content outside of the Suki chapters. While I wouldn't worry too much about that (for me, at least, any interaction with Jane and the world around her, fetishy or not, is pretty interesting), you could always move Jane and Emily's relationship forward. You've done a great job of subtly creating a "will they, won't they" dynamic between the two of them, and that bit about the collar at the end of their conversation was a nice little tease in that direction. I don't know how you feel about the more "lewd" side of gentle interaction, but that could be a place you could take this story, and given how you've built the relationship between Jane and Emily, it would be pretty satisfying to see, as it will have been "earned," if that makes sense.

If that's not your thing, cool, but I figured I'd put that out there since you mentioned having a hard time with that.

As for the last chapter, Jane really shines here as well, and for a different reason entirely! Her nonsensical imitation of a crime drama was hilarious, and it was nice to see her silly side after such a serious discussion in the previous chapter. Of course, it also shows that living such a hard life has developed nerves of steel in the tiny, as she was observing some things that no one else was, despite the fact that it was her life that was in danger. 

It's also good that Shana's true intentions at the start of the story are now known by everyone, as now all the "terrible" things she has done are now understood to have come from a good place. That she admitted that she couldn't just let Jane die in such a cruel way was interesting, as we hadn't heard that part of the real story yet. It makes sense, though. Shana never intentionally hurt the Little Folk, and she only started not caring about squishing them to save herself from the mental anguishing of dealing with what she had done purely on accident. So seeing Jane about to be eaten for Suki's amusement wouldn't be something I would expect her to tolerate (although that was obviously not clear back then).

And the way she showed guilt at just knocking Jane over on accident shows that she recognizes Jane as a person now. She has really come a long way since chapter one!

It should be interesting to see what happens when this new, more-honest-with-herself Shana meets up with Suki, especially if she goes to Suki's room for the conversation.

You know, at the start of this chapter I started to form a bit of a conspiracy theory about Stella, and by the end of it, I've become thoroughly convinced that I'm right on this.

In short, I think Victoria sent Stella there knowing that she would do something bad and that she would get caught doing it.

In long (no one ever says this, but it should work as an opposite for in short, right? RIGHT?!), Stella's situation struck me as odd from the start. It just didn't make sense to me that someone who wasn't good enough to be selected for one internship would be given such a massive assignment (one obviously very important to Victoria) in order to prove that she deserved a different internship with that same company. But I figured suspension of disbelief, don't take works of fiction too seriously, blah blah blah, and I kind of wrote it off and just went with it.

Once Stella started interacting with Tara and we saw how far the would-be intern is willing to go just for "leverage" (it seems like it was really more for fun than anything else), I started to wonder if maybe Victoria had anticipated that Stella would do something like what she did to the poor goth (I'm not saying the elder Vane predicted that she would do that specifically, but she probably anticipated that the college girl would try something along those lines).

Claire revealing that not only does Stella have a criminal background and other shady features to her past but that she received this information FROM Victoria all but confirmed, at least in my mind, my budding theory.

Now, why would Victoria send someone if she assumed/anticipated that she would do something so vile? I think it's a case of hitting not one, not the usual two, but three birds with one stone:

1. It'll probably scare off the other investors. I mean, despite all the fun they're having now, if they find out that Stella used the potential product to shrink and rape a girl, in an area that was supposed to be completely supervised no less, I have a hard time seeing them want to be a part of something that could turn out so badly.

Thus, Victoria would be the ONLY investor, which obviously would give her more say in how things are run going forward.

2. It'll make the Fab Four second-guess everything they thought about the shrinking solution. Seeing the abuse of their product first-hand, and, again, under their own supervision, is probably going to at least make them question their current business model. Hell, they might feel so guilty that they don't want to be involved in the future of the shrinking solution whatsoever, which, again, would likely lead to Victoria having complete control of said future.

3. I really think Victoria has something personal against Stella. The fact that Ms. Vane outted Stella to the Fab Four and wants them to do something that just sounds borderline-ethical (although probably not too bad, given how soft-hearted the group is) makes me rethink that earlier scene where Stella was admiring everything on the private jet. She thought it was Victoria showing her what she could have if she joined the company, when I'm now pretty sure it was a huge middle finger, showing her what she'll never have.

Maybe Victoria was close to the person who killed herself because of Stella's bullying (I could see her trying to bring in the kid of one her rivals down the road; that's a hell of a power move). Or perhaps Victoria just despises bullies like Stella. I don't know, but I feel pretty comfortable saying that there's something more there. 

As for Stella herself, I was just saying last chapter how Chae-Won was starting to look like the villain of the story, but the would-be intern had the proverbial "hold my beer" moment here. Damn! That girl is dark. And it wasn't just her terrible actions that sold that point, she was straight-up despicable when she owned the narrative. From her relishing in Tara's desperation to the way she quickly started thinking of the goth girl as an it rather than a she, the way Stella enjoys using people as though their mere possessions that exist only for her pleasure is the stuff great villains are made of!

Unfortunately for her, though, I don't think she has really thought any of this through. She wants to eat Tara? She doesn't even know how growing back works yet, and how is she so sure that a tiny's enhanced durability won't survive her digestive tract? Come to think of it, didn't Claire say that those crystals only last for 15 minutes, and wasn't Stella in the bathroom for, oh, about 15 minutes? Stella had better be careful, or things could get ... messy for her really soon.

As for the other big development in this chapter, man, you (and Terry) really nailed Jen and Kim in this chapter! I mentioned in my last review that I didn't think that crazy shrunken sex alone was going to be enough to bring the together like it did Ronnie and Dick, but I think this fight has actually moved them pretty significantly in that direction, even if it doesn't seem like it now.

I now feel like I have a much better understanding of where Jen is at in all of this. Yeah, what she said was really hurtful, even if not intentionally so, but she clearly needed to put that stuff out there, and the absurdity of the situation just caused her to start spewing it all out. This was confirmation for me that Jen feels the same way about Kim that Kid does about her; the only difference is that Kim knows how she feels and Jen doesn't fully understand her feelings.

Jen's rant started off as a simple comment about how much more exciting this sex was than their usual fair, but it turned into an airing of grievances. Subconsciously, Jen is frustrated with how things have gone in the bedroom with Kim; she wants more, but she doesn't realize it yet. I think her quest for her family's acceptance has left her with cock on the brain, so her love for Kim is buried so deep that Jen isn't consciously aware of it.

But that love is there, and, on some level, she know Kim is perfect for her. Except in bed. She doesn't like the vanilla routine the have, and that frustrates her to no end. What's worse, she doesn't even know she's frustrated, because she's not consciously thinking of Kim as a partner. So that frustration is also buried deep, only now manifesting itself unintentionally though Jen's rant.

Ultimately, this is a good thing, however, as Kim made clear that she also wants more in the bedroom. She was just afraid that trying new things would scare Jen away, that her younger friend took comfort in their routine. Ironically, she thought she was giving Jen what she wanted but was really pushing her away. Now that it's out there, they can move past it.

But Jen's not quite there yet. She knew she hurt Kim, I she doesn't yet understand why she did it. And now she's trying to move on in her own way, focusing on ravaging a kaiju succubus and blaming Kim for not being there with her to take advantage of this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity (although, let's be honest, if they were willing to fly out again, Titty would be down to do this again pretty much anytime). I have a feeling that Jen isn't going to enjoy her time in the now nearly as much as she thinks she is.

And as for Kim not taking advantage of said opportunity, I don't think she'll regret it at all. Unlike Jen, she knows exactly what she wants and doesn't need to experiment around. That's why she was okay with their routine. It doesn't matter to her what she does nearly as much as who she's doing it with. This is why Jen's words about this new experience hit so hard, they emphasized everyone else involved but Kim. Between that and Jen making sex with her sound like a chore, it makes perfect sense that Kim feels like a pet (and this is a pretty powerful metaphor, given the aura of control that Kim has exuded up to this point; it really shows how much Jen means to her).

But I think Jen is finally on the cusp of understanding this for herself, and from there, it's only a matter of convincing Kim that she feels the same way.

There's a lot of really interesting arcs in this story (and they've been really well paced and balanced out so far), but this Kim and Jen one has really stolen the show for me.

Let me also echo Terry's review by saying that your descriptions of one-inch Dick's view of the world were really on the mark. You conveyed his scale so well both in physical terms and in how he was perceiving everything around him. Not only was this really well done, but the more drastic size difference plays especially well against the larger tiny sizes that we've seen so far.

It was really interesting to compare Claire's "nothing can go wrong" speech with Livy's from last chapter. It's amazing the hubris of not being worried at all over the prospect of a known criminal and suspected bad person abusing the shrinking gummies she intentionally left out despite the fact that she was all over Livy about every little thing that could go wrong with Aidra. She's so worried about someone else making a critical mistake that she can't even consider that something she didn't anticipate could (and, in fact, did) happen. I still don't know what's going to happen with Aidra (or whether it will be a good or bad thing), but I feel pretty safe in saying that Claire will feel so much worse about the cost of her mistake than Livy will for Aidra's actions, even if they do turn out to lead to something terrible (which, again, I'm not necessarily convinced they will).

I don't want to come down too hard on Claire, though. I still really enjoy her character, and her considerate nature toward Kim was really endearing. And I get that she needed some confirmation that Stella was as bad as Victoria says she is (I wouldn't just take the elder Vane's word for it, either). It's just unfortunate that a simple lack of communication and a bit of hubris have led to such terrible consequences.

Also, I can't imagine any of the other three members of the Fab Four are going to be too thrilled to find out that Titty invited Tara there in the first place. I mean, based on the only other time we saw Tara, it was made pretty clear that they were trying to keep the shrinking solution a secret from the goth girl. Yeah, Claire shouldn't have used such a careless test, but Titty never should have had Tara there, either.

And lastly (I know, this is ridiculously long, right?), I just wanted to note that it was clever to have Tara's piercings not shrink with her. It makes perfect sense, but I never would have thought of that, and it took me by surprise. Good thing tinies heal fast!

After reading your response, I just wanted to clarify my comments on Stella's game. When I said it was worse than I thought, I was referring specifically to the things that were revealed by Stella. I think your execution of those segments came off flawlessly, especially after reading all of the things that you were hoping to convey about her. In particular, starting with Stella's parents helped paint a picture of how a person like this could come to be, as the combination of a strict, demanding, manipulative mother and a weak, incompetent father willing to spoil his daughter makes someone like the would-be intern more plausible, I think.

I just wanted to make sure that my comment wasn't taken as a criticism of your writing in these segments, which, again, I thought was phenomenal.

But while I'm writing another review, I also had some more thoughts on your comments about Claire. Morality is fun, mostly due to its subjective nature. And I agree that Claire is a good person overall (and that she's a deep character, as I've been intrigued by her from the start). But, in my view, imposing this game on Stella was still an immoral choice. I see what you're saying about consent, but I think the misleading nature of how she obtained it from Stella needs to be considered as well. Let's say Claire sat down with Stella before handing her that drink and said this:

"So this drink will remove some of your inhibitions and compel you to say whatever is on your mind. Once you drink it, I'm going to show you pictures of several people I have reason to believe that you have wronged. Then I'm going to present you with questions that will more or less force you to tell me your thoughts about and actions against each one. Once we're finished, I, a complete stranger to you, will sit in judgment of your actions and determine which shrinking solution to give you as punishments for your past misdeeds, the worst outcome for you being shrunken to one inch tall for two whole days. [insert whatever the plan for Stella was after the shrinking here.] Are you ready to begin?"

Can you honestly say that Stella would agree to that? I have a hard time believing that she would, even if it meant losing out on that internship (although I'm pretty sure she's smart enough to figure out she was set up by Victoria at that point anyway). And I'm pretty sure Claire felt the same way, hence the fact that she resorted to deceiving the would-be intern in order to get her to go along with this.

This is why I think Claire was in the wrong here, although I do believe her intentions were noble. And again, one morally bad choice has started to lead her down a dark path with those noble intentions, with her starting to consider that the solution should be used to punish certain people.

Honestly, I think the morally right thing for Claire (and the Fab Four in general) to do in this situation was reject Victoria's idea in the first place and not allow Stella to be sent at all. Now, Victoria is in a position to pressure them to do this, sure, but sometimes doing the right thing involves making sacrifices.

So I guess what I'm saying is that Claire is a good person who has fallen into a moral trap and made a mistake. To be fair, that mistake might turn out for the best, as it allowed for the discovery of Tara and Stella just so happens to be a terrible human being who deserves whatever is coming to her. But I don't think that makes Claire's actions here right. Like I said before, in my view, it's the actions of the person committing the act that matter, not those of the one having the act committed on them that determines the morality of that first person's choice.

Thanks for humoring me on this. I love philosophical debate, and I the scenario you constructed here is ripe for that.

Wow. You've already written Victoria's big reveal? You're even more of a nonlinear writer than I am. I jumped around a lot during each of the first two chapters of my story, but I don't know if I'm ambitious enough to write that far ahead. You know, I thought I might have been overestimating Victoria a bit so far, but the way you worded this makes me think I may actually be underestimating her a bit. I'm kind of excited to see this scene now.

The phonetic alphabet is fun. That authorization code makes a lot of sense in particular, as, based on what we learned about her in Turnabout Livy really is a glutton for punishment.

Speaking of that, I mentioned last chapter how Claire and Titty were going to be beating themselves up later after they find out what's happening to Tara, and you turned that shit to 11 by adding Olivia to the mix as well. She may end up feeling even worse than either of the other two, which is ironic because she's the only one out of that trio that didn't make a decision that inadvertently put the one-inch goth in this situation. Yet she'll still feel tremendous guilt over not letting Aidra stop the whole thing then and there, as well as for putting off checking Aidra's reports, which I'm guessing would have made the reality of the situation pretty clear. Of course, Livy had every reason to believe it was just a mistake by Aidra, as she truly thought every person in the building was accounted for. I don't think that's going to matter to her much when the time comes, though.

By the way, between that and Claire's assumptions as to why Stella isn't able to stay still, this chapter did a masterful job of building tension around Tara's struggle without even mentioning her or showing Stella's perspective once. The ignorance of Livy and Claire's perspectives was so frustrating (which I want to clarify is a good thing) and I find myself legitimately caring and worrying about what's going to happen to Tara, someone we've seen mentioned in only two chapters so far. I'm really impressed by that.

And despite neither this story or Turnabout having a particularly dark tone (which the latter very easily could have, but didn't), this story has been written in a way that I'm don't feel like it's a sure thing that the mini-goth is going to come out of this alive. That uncertainty gives this story a nice sense of tension.

I still think Aidra might save the day for Tara by the end of things, as some of those things that Livy was trying to keep out of the sexbot might end up doing more good than harm. I could also see Stella telling on herself in this uninhibited state, but that's not a given either.

Seeing Kim uninhibited was refreshing. Up until now, and I think I've said this a lot, she has been a paragon of control without being controlling. Even in this chapter, up until she took a dip in Stella's drink, it felt like Kim was comfortable and politely assertive, even though she's sharing the room with two strangers, one of which she has been told is likely a terrible person. There's a certain grace about her, and to see her go from that to just blurting out whatever's on her mind feels like we're peeling back that layer of elegance and seeing a fun sort of bluntness from her. I really enjoy that, and I hope we get to see a bit more of that, even if Stella's game obviously takes precedence.

Claire and Kim are also really cute interacting with each other. Kim is inquisitive and mature enough that Claire can take her seriously but has just enough of that silly, video game mentality to break past that cold professor exterior and let Claire show her softer side a little bit. And, in turn, Kim is relaxed enough around Claire, even after such a short amount of time, that she feels comfortable showing that silly side of her. This is especially nice to see after the emotional drama she dealt with last chapter.

Stella's game sounds really interesting. I'm curious to see where it goes. I'm guessing that, since she's going to be compelled to talk about each person by the concoction, Stella isn't going to actually going to improve her size based on how she answers. And I think we know who at least one of those pictures is going to be of ...

I think that's the first thing I've seen actually phase Titty. Great planning by Team Tiny. She's expected sexy fun time and gets tickled instead. I just hope Richard holds on to whatever part of her ear that he can, because that head is going to be moving.

Speaking for myself, I didn't mind all the set-up at all. In fact, I just kind of enjoy reading about these characters in general. Also, while there was no smut, you did have a shrunken woman take a dip in someone's drink, so you get points for that at least.

Excellent use of the word schlong, first of all! It's a classic I thought long forgotten.

I have to say, Missy showed a bit more of a dark side here than I expected. I knew she could get a bit dark with her domme side, but considering allowing things to go on with Ronnie when she was pretty sure the tiny assistant was having issues was surprising to me. I mean, we were starting to wander into rape territory at the end there.

Now, to be fair, given the "atmosphere" in the room, it would likely be pretty easy to get lost in your lust and not think clearly. In fact, based on Ronnie's reaction right before Titty started her "descent," I'm pretty sure Missy would have had some serious regrets afterward had she allowed this to continue.

Of course, we don't know what she would have done, as Aidra stepped in before she could react. I'm guessing Titty almost stomping her flat, whether coming that close intentionally to tease the tiny student or accidentally while lost in her lust, delayed any effort Missy might have made to put the kibosh on things.

This isn't a complaint that Missy was acting out of character, however. It was just interesting to see Missy's thought process in that situation, and it makes me think that maybe Missy is just a little bit more like her sister than she would care to admit.

As for Titty, it's obvious that she was so horny that she didn't even notice Ronnie decline the invitation to her "holy place." Said invitation was really more of a formality than an actual question, so the giant succubus clearly didn't pay attention to her response. Honestly, I don't think Titty could even comprehend the notion that somebody doesn't wouldn't want to get inside her.

And also, at least Titty owned the fucking pun! No more of this "pun unintended, hehe" shit!

I can see what you mean about plot threads weaving together. It looks like shits about to hit the fan and from multiple angles, too!

Hearing Olivia unknowingly describe what's likely to happen with Aidra when telling Claire why those things can't happen was both enjoyable and nerve-wracking. Any conversation that involves our robot overlords obtaining sentience and experimenting with bioweapons and shrinking tech is obviously a fun one. But yeah, hearing a protagonist unwittingly explain what (at least potentially) terrible thing is about to happen is always a bit unsettling, and I don't think we see enough of that nowadays, so it was certainly welcome here.

And now that Aidra is awake, I'm pretty intrigued to see just how much of Olivia's scenario (or anti-scenario might be a better word?) is going to play out.

I really like how entitled Chae-Won is here. She has absolutely nothing to do with this project (it's not even a project for the university), but she feels like she's entitled to get some credit for it because Claire chose a student over her to work on it. Now, just seconds after finding out shrinking is a thing, she's already looking for opportunities to steal the shrinking solutions and fantasizing about her "enemies" being tiny and at her mercy. She's very quickly gone from a character on the periphery to a serious, serious threat, and I love the absolute pettiness that serves as her motivation. Sometimes a simply villain is more enjoyable than a complex one with understandable reasons guiding their actions.

And who the hell knows what Stella is doing right now. Is she plotting something? Running scared? Actually using the bathroom? It's interesting that it was noted that she wasn't there and casually so.

But while Chae-Won's selfishness is giving her the makings of a great villainess, Kim's selfishness was something I found myself cheering. It's obvious Jen wants to go explore Dick's giant, well, dick (and that might have actually helped Ronnie's situation, actually), but Kim isn't about to give up her Jen time, and good for her! Kim was super possessive of Jen before she even realized Jen wasn't a body pillow, using her for comfort as she adjusted to her shrinking. I'm really pulling for Kim to break through that barrier with Jen, but I'm not sure if one shrunken-sexy-time session is going to be enough to do that (unlike with Richard and Ronnie).

Hopefully it'll move things in the right direction, though.

Speaking of Kim and Jen's time together, I've mentioned your smutty creativity before, but I have to bring it up again here. After several chapters (and the entire previous story) focusing on more extreme size differences, we got to see an amazon Kim use her two-inch height advantage to ravage Jen and do so in a very creative way. Lifting Jen up by her ass to eat her out almost like one does a watermelon is actually a pretty unique way to go about it, I think, and the whole thing was described beautifully. Then Jen uses a sucked-down sexed-up gummy cock to fuck her best friend and occasional lover, which is certainly not what I was expecting!

I'm eager to see what Jen does once she's the big one (assuming everything hasn't gone to shit by that point). Will she take on a more dominant role, or is tiny Kim still going to find a way to keep control of things?

Also, as I mentioned your descriptions, you had some really unique ones here. One of my favorites was Kim describing Olivia sitting on the bed as an amusement park attraction so tall that she would say "fuck it" and leave because there are too many stairs. I feel like a lot of descriptions get recycled through these giantess fetish stories (and there's nothing wrong with that; in fact, I find that some of these can carry an almost Pavlovian effect), so different ways to describe size tend to really stand out for me. This was probably the most unique, yet relatable one that I've seen yet. Well done!

And finally (I know, right?) I wanted to say that I appreciated the little explanation at the start when Claire noted the details about the FDA and patenting for the shrinking solution. This story has been very detail oriented, so I wasn't surprised that these minor details worked their way into the story, but I felt I should acknowledge my appreciation that you've put that much thought into your work.

Oh (extra finally, I guess), and Claire trying to not perv on Titty was cute and funny!

Now, I'm eager to see what Ronnie picks as Titty's punishment next chapter (you know, once she's able to speak again) and which Claire, erm, I mean, person is assigned to dole it out!

 “Titty looks hornier than I’ve seen her in a while, and both you and your little lover might want to brace for what comes next.”

Now there's a scary thought! Is that even possible?! Pokémon must be an aphrodisiac for her, right up there with breathing, moving, and someone who has a beating heart!

Kim slipping a bit into her streamer persona and simulating a Pokémon battle was a clever way to make sure Jen was comfortable with their newfound size difference. Seeing things from Jen's perspective, we get no hint of fear at all from her, and she seems to jump into competitive mode pretty much right away. Jen doesn't even hesitate to go under Kim's foot as it's descending in the hope of attaining victory. I know she trusts Kim not to squish her, but she was so into the battle that it wasn't even a thought for her.

Also, when Kim said she would make Jen feel helpless, my mind went to a lot of places. I have to admit, though, her wearing Jen's edible underwear on her toes wasn't one of them.  Between that and crushing the figurine, she was pretty creative in taking away any semblance of control Jen may have had before going down, and she even managed to do it without even touching her.  In fact, Jen initiated all contact during the whole battle, yet she felt like she was fighting an uphill, almost futile battle the entire time. That kind of mental, gentle domination fits Kim's character really, really well.

I actually had a bit of a realization (or misread) during their "battle." When we first met Kim, she seemed like she had kind of over her streaming gig for awhile, trying to find a more adult way to make money (investing). In fact, she has kind of had a more "adult" air about her throughout the story (at least to me). But here, she was really into her game with Jen; her enthusiasm felt real, rather than manufactured ala streaming personality. And while reading the scene, I realized (I think) that the reason Kim has stuck with streaming as a profession for as long as she has is at least partially because it allows her a certain level of closeness with Jen. Yeah, I'm sure they'd still be friends and even screw around some even if they didn't work together, but I think the extra time they get to spend streaming together is important to Kim.

I mean, it's already been hinted at that Kim wants a real relationship with Jen. Holding on to excuses to spend more time with her doesn't seem like too much of a stretch.

And Claire on commentary was just adorable! That stick-up-her-ass professor mentality she showed at the start of the story is already paying dividends as she begins to show a softer, more fun side, but gradually and without jumping into anything crazy (it would be weird if she suddenly became Titty, after all). I enjoyed Claire more here because of that harsh exterior we saw in the first few chapters, and I'm interested to see if that effect continues to build as the story continues.

I'm very interested to see what Titty has in mind for our streaming duo next chapter. I could see her getting really creative. I could also see her fingering herself as she attacks Kim's vagina with Jen in her other hand. She's pretty unpredictable!

Wow, it seems like Ronnie read the first story before making the trip to Middleton!

I wouldn't exactly call myself a fan of M/f, but I thought the scene with Ronnie and Dick was really well done. The way Ronnie naturally took control with Richard was pretty fun to read, and it was rewarding to see her help him break through his fear of overstepping with her. Like I said before, he deserved that release (both metaphorical and literal), and Ronnie deserved to be the one to give it to him. And "Big-Titty" getting involved was an unexpected bonus!

I also liked seeing Titty showing off Missy to everyone from Ronnie's POV. Little details, such as Ronnie's shock, the distance between Stella and her, and Stella's own stunned reaction combining to make it so Miss Vale could only hear Titty's side of the conversation, are much appreciated, as always. Ronnie's observations on the Asian gi-er, Jen and Kim were fun, too. There was just something about the way Jen's youthful excitement and Kim's subtle dominance came off from her perspective that made the would-be couple all the more endearing to me.

And if I understood Ronnie correctly (and I'm remembering correctly from a few chapters ago), it looks like Dick is going to go all the way down to one inch when it's his turn to shrink, right? That seems like something Ronnie would do. She's used to being in the driver's seat in Richard's life, and it's only fair that he has to work his absolute hardest to please her after giving her the female equivalent of blue balls for the past five years.

Speaking of Jen's youthful excitement, though, her reactions to Missy were super cute, as was her reaction to Ronnie being shorter than her. Even her freaking out a bit when she hurt Missy's ears was cute. Between that and her sudden fear of shrinking when she saw the models (and Kim talking off that particular ledge) were a good reminder of her good nature and fun-loving ways after we glimpsed a potentially darker side to her last chapter. I'm really enjoying the nuance with which we're getting to see the complexity behind her character.

And Kim always feels like the adult in the room, especially around Jen. She comes off as caring, yet in control and just a bit playful when the situation calls for it. I thought it was a bit bold, though not inappropriate, for her to hand-deliver Missy to Ronnie directly, rather than just giving the eight-inch redhead back to Titty. I'm not sure if Kim or Jen are getting tiny first, but I'll be particularly interested to see how Kim handles being a tiny domme.

Going back to appreciating the little details, I loved how Missy seemed in control when she was being shown off to the investors. Even at eight inches tall, she has to be in charge, and that's exactly how she came off here. Yeah, we've seen this before when she was tiny, but that was exclusively with Livy. Keeping her wits about her and using those small talk skills noted earlier in the chapter to be in command when addressing five strangers much, much larger than her isn't only impressive, it's consistent with the character we've been presented with as well. And not seeing that from her perspective, where we could have just been told that was what she was doing, makes the observation that much more enjoyable.

Claire's attraction to Titty is getting a little more blatant as the story goes on. Is that the professor's slowly diminishing inhibitions projecting onto the reader?

I also liked that Olivia took a backseat in this chapter. I love her character, and, as I said last chapter, I'm digging the narratives from her perspective, but I think seeing less of her here gave the other three members of the Fab Four, particularly Titty, a chance to really shine.

I also think Titty was the perfect choice to deal with the investors directly with Missy. She showed more professionalism than I would have expected, and her ability to blend that with her sexually explicit nature was the ideal combination for a presentation like this. I think Claire and maybe even Livy would have struggled to be half as bold as Titty was when talking with said investors, let alone suck the only dick in the room.

Finally, it was a small thing, but I loved how Missy picked up on the tension Stella was directing at her, as well as her speculation on where said tension came from. Getting slightly more background on Missy and Victoria's relationship was interesting, and her not being sure whether Victoria helped her down her current path was due to her sister legitimately wanting to help her or just trying to get her out of the way says a lot about what's shaping up to be a pretty odd relationship between the two.

And, again, that tension also shows that Stella is just terrible.

I kept saying that all of that setup early on was going to pay off when we got to the good stuff, and this chapter didn't disappoint! I look forward to seeing what you've got coming next!