Reviewer: horatio Signed
Date: March 03 2012
Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: Five Years Later
Wow, awesome chapter again! Great job in describing Jack's feelings, you really made the tranformation of his will totally acceptable. I also liked the change in Carly's attitude, was almost looking forward to what was up for the two next - I begged you to make Sophie save him, and now that it happened (or seemed to happen), I'm almost disappointed that we won't get to see more of that "loving bond" between those siblings ;)
It will be funny to see how Sophie reacts to Jacks complete brainwashing and his new attitude. Also, are you maybe going to go back to good old torture, only that this time a girl owns a girl? Maybe for a chapter or two ;)
Also, PLEASE make something happen that the shrinking potion and the knowledge about it never face the earth again... I really like the "compactness" of your concept, that only a few people are involved. The end of this chapter makes me afraid of maybe tens of parallel plots, because someone finds the shrinking spray and uses it one someone else again. I think I just don't like the thought of "leaving the original" characters and spectating new ones through their lives..