Reviewer: daftpunk Signed
Date: October 04 2020
Title: Chapter 2: Day 1: Jessie and Marcus
Hi! Well done so far.
Some extra scenes you could include could be ones where the daughter unintentionally dominates her father or isn't aware he is in the same room due to his size.
For example he could be lying on the couch but she doesnt see him over the armrest, she casually throws her wet school socks onto his face and continues to the kitchen.
Her father might be trying to help her clean her room and she comes home after school while he is in there, clearing below her bed. He feels guilty and hides thinking she'll go have a shower but her bare soles dangle and scrunch centimetres from his face while she browses her phone
Author's Response: thank you!
i checked out your story too - 72 REVIEWS i wish i had that many lol but thank you for leaving one yourself
i can tell you like unaware stuff lol but those are great ideas actually and not too extreme that i might be able to add the first one! as for the second, i was actually already planning for him to be stuck under her bed when she comes home with her boyfriend and starts making out with him, which isnt like, super the same but close enough where idk if i'll have both but maybe i will tho but we'll see. can definitely fit the first one in though, thanks for the ideas!