Divorces are tough on everyone but, and they often stir up memories of long gone by. This is no different, when memories are stirred up.
I am with nostromo. This is one of my alltime favorite stories even though its quite difficult at times. It makes you think what if.
My excuse for not having giving my 5 stars out of 5 until now is that I have not been an active member and this is my first review of a finished story so its only natural that I would review my favorites first. this is one of my favorites.
It is painful and yet appealing at the same time. I love the way the girl changes day by day in how she views and treats her tiny pet. The dad is lost in what to do and thats natural....whats he to do? At first hes angry and tries to establish his authority and as he realizes that he is going to have to try other approaches, he does so and realizes his new place in a world.
I wish I knew if andrew nellis is still out there. Andrew if you are there...id love to establish some dialogue with you. I have questions about this story. You deifinitely are a writer up my own alley.
Well done. 5 STARS out of 5
This is an awesome story Ced. I have been commenting over at giantesscity on it but as you add new chapters ( please add chapter 10 soon!!!) I will comment here from now on. I love your characters. I love the way allyson talks to and treats her brother already....Not even realizing that its jacen. Wait till she does accept that fact! And what about jennie, Jacens twin! How will she act when allyson shows jacen to her? I cant wait. I love how allyson calls him buggie and treats him like pet food when she first finds him! Its got to be so humiliating for him as well as deathly frightening! Imagine having your kid sister treat you as if you are dinner for her pet? OMGAnd you get at the fear that jacen feels nicely too! I love it. Scared of her and shes just a little sis! If it were only real ! If only we could figure out a way to make it happen for real right ced?on the last chapter: chapter 9.... you sorta backtrapped which at first frustrated me as I read it. I was loving where we were and then you went back sorta and changed it. Then I thought about it and was actually intrigued by what you did. You employed an interesting writing technique and it makes sense in dlaying the confrontation. Well done. I do hope that allyson realizes soon that it is jacen though. I particulary like it when jacen thinks back to how it was before. i think thats a rich goldmine of material for the characters. how jacen treated the sisters before can come out in the flasnbacks and it will make the present situation even more rewarding as the girls treat their big brother in a whole new light. keep up the great work. I will comment more on the next part as soon as I read it!your bud Htp
another great chapter Ced. I love the way allyson seems to be handling this change in jacen. She seems to really be a little girl about it! Heh heh. I think shes going to figure out its best for everyone to keep her little secret to herself for awhile. Her parents dont need to know. I think shes going to enjoy keeping him as her own!
I just hope she shares her news with jennie and maybe her friends too. That way jacen can get alot of girls picking him up and keeping him warm.
Great great story ced. I cant wait for the next chapter! I am so hooked.
HTP
I can see how hard you worked on this chapter Ced. It really shows. nice job. Its one of my favorite chapters yet.
I love the way Al talks to jacen. She isnt even aware of how her attitude is changing towards him but it is obvious to the reader. I love when she tells him that he can speak now. So demeaning. And jacen obeys! excellent. Al is definitely starting to think of jacen as a pet rather than as a person and its happening so innocently that it makes it all the more humiliating!
I cant wait to jenni sees jacen for the first time. I have a feeling she is older and will treat jacen a lot differently than al does.
I love that allyson teases him bringing back what he used to say to her... you have to be this tall! haha I can see her looking down on him making gestures with her hands as jacen looks up futilely. She is enjoying this siuation alot and shes not even really got used to have a doll sized brother. Wait till she becomes comfortable with his situation and realizes hes going to be like that for awhile! Excellent!
Another aspect I love in this chapter is the way jacen starts to think of them as giants. you have written it beautifully. He does not even think of himself as their equals anymre and this is going to come into play. He is already seeing them as a pet looks up to how owners. That will be difficult for our first born to deal with as his sisters get used to being the giants too!
Great story. I do hear where you are coming from as far as the rewrites and the desrie for perfection. I have been there. From this reades perspective, you are doing great! I dont think you should put so much pressure on yourself...just write! You are doing great.
cant wait for more! Im guessing that al sounds to be about 12 and that jenni is maybe 16 or 17. I bet I am right but you dont have to tell me.
I have tried finding you on aim at night but so far you havent been on when I login, hope to find you there soon so we can talk again!
Htp
interesting. A new character! ( not a sister but a short girl that jacen teased) Miranda sounds to be a pretty interesti9ng teenaged girl. I cant wait till jenni and miranda find jacen in his new state!
I like the way this come out of the blue. An interesting beginning to the next phase of our story. Poor jac. :)
Nice nice chapter. For alot of reasons I enjoyed this one immensely. First off, I love the way he is trying to convince himself that his sister is not a giant. Shes just a little sister. TOO FUNNY! Its a great idea to have him denying his new place in the world and his new place in the lives of the giants! Thats one of my favorite things in stories like these where the now shrunken person still tries to convince himself that he is the same person ( only smaller) He will in time have to face the reality that they are giants and he is liek a pet to them. It will be a hard pill to swallow for the first born. In the meantime, you keep emphasthizing his denial which is very welldone. it make the humiliation he feels all the more wonderful.
The theres the part about the warmth of her hand. i just love that ced. It would be so true if someone were that small. Hed want the warmth and the closeness to a giant and yet, it would be totally embarrassing too. Its almost like when al drops him, he comes back to reality. He is able to just vanish into the warmth of her hand and then hes thrown back into reality. I hope when miranda and jenni get tiny jac, they spend long hours holding him in their hands. ( maybe mirnada will place him in other warm places too???) Its embarrassing as hell to be in his sisters hand but it sure must make him feel good as prose describes it as if its kinda paradise.The warmth of her hand felt good as it warmed me up! NICE!
The there is the waiting....LOL He has too much time on his hands! Looking at her brush....her socks, having to contemplate his situation as he waits for her to take him out. Then she comes back home and hes nothing more than an item on her agenda. Hes insignificant which makes him furious! He waits and waits and waits and then she turns on her music and doesnt even want to know what he has to say! JUST NOD lol Nice.
Great story! Great chapter!
Then she drops a shrimp on the shrimp! Can you imagine the embarrasment of being treated that way? I loved in LITTLE AFFECTION when the daughter dropped the crumbs in on her tiny dad in her pocket. Thats what this scene reminded me of. I was hoping that jennie was going to find him though. Ally is so so immature. Poor jac. I have a feeling its going to get worse before it gets better for him.
HTP
Oooh, an interesting turn of events in chapter 14. so Al is behind all of jaces misery huh? Oh dear. I hope she doesnt admit she knows why he is so small. Its not like anyone would ever figure out her part in the whole thing. She should fess up that shes got him prisoner in her bedroom though. Then Jenni and miranda will get to see him!!!!
Interesting storytelling Ced. At first I was confused by the flashback that started the chpater and then I realized you were intertwining character development. it was a bit confusing the way you presented it but onsecond reading, its just fine.
Wait till Miranda finds her Jac as a helpless little doll. I am hoping that shes the gentle type. After jacs experience with his wild kid sister, I am hoping that both jenni and miranda give him alot of loving and sweetness as he will need it now.
Time will tell.
I look forward to alot more.
I just hope al doesnt ruin everything by coming too clean. We need her to be around as a mean spirited and teasing giantess for jace!
Glad to see the change.It seems to help make the read easier! You are alwasy getting better man.
As to this chapter...I like that things are going to get back to normal for the family...haha sort of, Well for most of them anyways. It is jac that is going to need to adjust to the changes in his world ...even if pouty little ally is the reson for all his troubles. Hes going to have to learn to bite his tongue around her when he finds out she made him that way!!!! ( or maybe he wont??)
Hmmmmm. Did I hear that mom and nicole ae worried? Who is Nicole? LOL I liek the sound of that. i will be watching for more of her. I bet she looks pretty tall to greg right about now.
Larissa is so cold and heartless! I hope she continues to treat her little man as the tiny insect he is!
Keep it up CED.
Htp
I agree that this story is awesome! Is it over? I was hoping that tracy and joanne would get to have chris back again. I liked the ending. cute litttle twist BUT I pictured scenes with him back home having to deal with a sister that picks him up and teases him constantly and a gf who continues to not see how humiliated he is by his new positon as a doll man. That would be wonderful to see.
Now what is with all those question marks SLIPSTREAM? Very disconcerting despite the greatness of this story. Any way to fix that? LOL
I will coment more in detail per chapter as I reread each part. I read it so fast yesterday and just wanted to make my initial comments. NOT AS GREAT AS SLOWSHRINK TALE but thats one of my alltime favorites, This one is right up there and there are some wonderful mean spirited giantesses in poor chris's life!
awwwwww... poor guy.
HTP
I like the idea alot VORD! nice story. I cant wait till Carrie and her father are reunited. I am hoping she is not too nice to him after she finds him. I am sure you have read them but you probably could look over LITTLE AFFECTION and A SMALL SHRINK TALE for ideas to include in the future.
I am not on here too often anymore so when I saw this story, it caught my eye! I look forward to more installments in the near future. ( unaware is ok to me but I like it alot when the girl starts off treating tghe shrunken man one way and then within time, she realizes that hes no more than an insect to her and cant help but treat him as such!
sorta wish she were older though but maybe after you have him spend some time with the 12 year old carrie, we can shift years into the future say to when shes 15 or 16 and then when shes in college too!! haha
keep up the great work!
Thank you very much hertinypal... I really appreciate your help, but Carrie is 17, I guess I should have posted a note of that in my story, my bad. I think I will take a look at those stories. My basic idea for the story though is that, after all these years Carrie does find her father and is somewhat confused over... and maybe she does get a little angry because I mean she's been wondering for 12 years about what happened and she assumes that her father just left.
just wanted to share my thoughts on this delightful story! I like it! Please keep writing. The girls are very cute. Im looking forward to his further adventures as a 3" tall man and I especially enjoy krista and how the tables have turned for bobby. Keep it going. Imagine a girl only 4 11 having a guy in the palm of her hand!!!!
A young man discovers he has married more than he can handle
this is really well written nostromo. Its a little violent for my taste but its an absolutley fantastic story. I read it quickly to get a feel for it so I am not in a great position to offer alot of critique but I did enjoy it.
I will reread it when i get some more time and tell you more of what I think about it.
we do not get enough insertion stories and stories about husband and wife so this was not only interesting to read but unusual. I am interested in checking out some of your other stories nostromo- you write really well!
congrats on an excellent violent shrinking story!!!
wow! I dont know where i have been but I missed this gem completely. It was a real treat finding this and a total surprise that I had missed all your earlier installments. As always DX, You write excessively well and to see you try your hand at slow shrink- well" i like it, i love it, I want more of it!" Seriously DX , another phenomenal job. I particularly like the idea of him asking his wife to place him on her when he gets so tiny that he can spend the remainder of his life as part of her. Thats just aweseom but somehow, I dont think that is the finale of you have planned. Too bad. I love that idea. Kinda like Talk to her's shrinking lover who goes inside her, forever.
i just wanted to compliment on you on starting a new shrinking story! I love this kind of story and wish you the best. hope to see more soon. Check out my new installment of 5 years later by her tiny pal!
As the world slowly starts to change, we take a look at a slowly evolving world through a single family's perspective. (Step Family. No actual incest.)
very nice chapter. I look forward to more great installments. Nicole is a very appealing character. keep up the good work.
An honest employee of the Techilogic Corporation sets out to investigate the new widespread use of the shrink ray, only to uncover darker revelations about the business he’ll soon wish had stayed buried.
Jack! I cant believe how many reviews you have. You are very popular. I really like this story and your idea. I especially enjoyed the claire and corey story and look forward to seeing more of them.
I imagine with so many reviews, you arent desperate for more fans but you got one so I figured I would let you know that I am enjoying your work. I love comments on my stories so I figured that it was only right for me to send kudos to you after enjoying it.
I look foreard to more installments and I hope you will read my new story and comment on it? If you have the time.
hertinypal
Thanks for reading/reviewing! I'm glad you like the story. And if you want to see more of Claire and Corey, I suggest keeping an eye out for Ackbar's name, since he's going to be expanding their story at some point. I will check out your new story when I get a chance; I've enjoyed your past works.
Roger needs to adjust to his new life as the pet of a teenage girl when he contracts the strain. Will he be able to come to terms of his new existence and can he forget the old life he has lost? It wont be easy for the tiny man but it will be in his best interest to try or he is going to be in a rough spot with his new owner.
Rizcar- some great comments and I appreciate them, I will try to address your points.
First off you arent the only one that is having trouble with the way I am presenting the story and I do apologize for making it confusing. Let me explain my reasoning and say at the same time that if a few readers are finding it difficult, I imagine there are others that arent commenting that have had the same impression. This was not my intent to confuse so I do apologize for the nonlinear structure. Here is my reason: I like to read stories myself that bounce around in time so that we can get to "the good stuff" early on and not get stuck in dull non giantess chapters for long stretches. I hate waiting so I get right to it and then fill in the gaps. This story has an outline and when its finished, I hope it will read well linearly. In the meantime, I am writing so that we can watch the shrinking progress while not having to wait to see Roger at 6" tall and smaller. If you have ever read the author slipstream, you will see he bounces around and around for what I imagine in the same reason that I am doing it.
Hoping by story's end you will have lost your confusion and it will read better to you and you will feel rewarded for having read it. I will try not to tell out of sequence in the future because that technique seems to be bothering a number of you.
Read on for more explantaion of what is going on with Nicole and her relationship with Roger. I wont be concentrating on her too much but you should get a better idea from future chapters as to why ROger is going from daughter to daughter's rooms.
As to Kelsie, I dont think I ever indicated that she had a crush on Roger. Did i? I am pretty sure her older sister Ashleigh is the one who had a crush on the full sized Roger. Look back and see if I am wrong and if so , please feel free to correct me.
Ummm without giving anything away, Kelsie and Roger's relationship will evnetually change and he wont just be her pet anymore. As to his happiness with Kelsie in their relationship, that you will have to read on to determine. All i can say is that Roger will get his fill of a few giantesses before the story concludes. I am not saying who they are but you have already met the women in the course of the story. One of the women will treat Roger pretty well and it may or may not end well for them. Stay tuned.
Finally you wondered if he is better off with Kelsie or his family? I think thats one of the things I like most about shrinking stories. In the long run, most women treat the tiny guy in a similar fashion. He belongs to them and they love being able to control. For me, being able to introduce embarrassing scenarios with different characters is what I strive for. With his daughters, there is one kinf of embarrasment and control issues. With non family members, there is a completely differnt dichtomy. If you have read my other stories, I skirt around the incest issue pretty well and I dont think my shrunken guys will ever be abused or sexually involved with their siblings/ and or parents. Though I go to humilating places with family members in my writings, I dont think I would like to see a girl being sexual with a family member. Just not my thing. That doesnt mean there wont be plenty of embarrassing situations that might be unwelcomed to some readers.
Thanks for your comments and I hope to see more from you as the story moves along.
I get into a fight with my sister and my mum prevents me going on the holiday the following day. I end up going but not the way I would of hoped....
This build up is awesome! Keep up the good work. My only concern at this point is that with all these girls, that wish to not be noticed is going to mean totally unaware. I like it when women see and react to the shrunken guy and I am affraid this wont happen in this story. I love the way Amber lost her pet because of her brother's insensitivity, even if he didnt mean to. I would like to think he is going to take the pets place because Amber lost her old pet and now her brother will do nicely as a stand in!
Keep up the good work. I will be reading. ( if you dont like this kind of comments, I understand and wont make critiques. To me as a writer, I would love readers to tell me everything they are feeling about the characters so that's what I am doing for this story. )
Michaelecs - wow you go right for the jugglular with your review BUT you dont tell him what you think of the story. That's not cool. I would love you to read and review my story because I apprecaite comments of all kind though the ones I like most are aboiut the characters and how you feel about them. Anyways, not all authors want to be told what they are doing wrong and after all, its just your opinion. I am not saying I disagree with some of what you are saying. What I am saying is that criticism like yours while well intentioned and thoughtful, might not be welcomed. personally if I were to offer this kind of critisism to an aspiring writer, I would preface it by saying : Please let me know if youd prefer tnot to get this kind of critique and if so I will not continue to criticize. Thats just one man's opinion.
I can take the criticism on my writings and I welcome yours and anyone else that will take the time to write about my stories. Try a new life and see what you think?
