After finishing college, our protaganist takes a job in rural Wyoming. In what appears to be a happy coincidence, he learns that he has distant relatives in the town where he's working. Unfortunately for him, his two distant cousins have other plans for him: making him their toy. Hopefully he manages to find a work-life balance between keeping his sanity and serving their every need. Hopefully, he can overcome his attraction to his well-meaning but not very observant distant aunt as well, without getting unknowingly killed by her first.

Tony Capucilli is a low-level employee of the notorious criminal empire known as the Bianchi Family. Power, money, women, he has it all - all he has to do is take care of importing the illegal items the family requests. The only problem is that he's been betrayed. The entire operation is crashing on his shoulders and he needs an out.

Enter witness protection. The updated program ensures complete anonymity for the duration of your natural life, but at a cost. Tony will be forced to choose between being transformed into everything (from his nemesis' daughters' panties to a shrunken servant marketed as the newest premium luxury pampering service) and being hunted down by the most powerful crime lord in the area.

Can Tony last until the Bianchi family is taken down for good?