[Report This]Date: November 06 2018 5:10 PM Title: Chapter One
Great another series where the villian has 'invincible' grade plot armor. Cindi was WAY to easily gotten rid of and she could of been a morality pet with Adrain, she was also written way to weak for a harden dective. So more torment of folks who may deserve it, may not when you have actual rapist, murders (now to include both main characters, though one was under deress) and worse that Candi may of been able to talk Mel into hunting rather then Co-Ed and their dates.
No it's going to turn into another Vore fest (which for those who like it just copy and paste the other 10,000 stories on this site, God forbid something new and less dark might entertain you) in which Mel litterally gets away with murder after murder when any police force would of had two squad cars at her apartment the moment Candi went dark with others ready to go on such a high profile case, and yes they would have body cameras at this point if Candi didn't already have one herself, they would notice if for some odd reason wine was shrinking one or both of the officers, so the second pair would going shooting, but hey lets go from suspension of disblief to out and out fantasy. 'yeh' PLOT ARMOR,,,,
Author's Response:
Thank you for the review! I always appreciate feedback.
I do apologize if the tone of the story isn't to your interests, especially at this particular junction. I know not everyone is into vore, but it's something wild and derranged -- something Melanie would absolutely do to one of her enemies. I disagree that this is becoming "a vore fest," so far it's just the one person being vored after all! Which, compared to many other stories around this site, I'm currently in the low estimates of vores-per-chapter. I'm sorry that the vore was off-putting to you, especially if this was a make-or-break part of enjoying Endless. I know now I did not have it tagged appropriately, so I can understand how this would be surprisng.
Indeed, that would be a very realistic approach to this story! If a pair of cops did, in fact, come to interrogate Melanie versus a single private investigator. Perhaps that could have made a more compelling story for you and others, but a realistic representation of a police investigation would have only slowed my story down. As you yourself can see, Melanie would have easily been caught. That's not a very exciting ending to Endless, right? At least, it isn't in my opinion. To be frank, I found myself stuck in this situation: do I just shy away from the fact that people are going missing, and that Melanie would look suspicious? Or do I have the world respond appropriately, which in turn would lead the story to a pretty abrupt end? I had to choose a middle ground, and this approach looked most fun for me, a detective that gets the reader to think, "Finally! Someone that can stop Melanie!" only for her to then be embarrassingly defeated in the very next chapter.
I will finish my response with this thought: this story is not meant to be a happy one. From the very beginning, I wanted a story of hopelessness. I didn't want to be too on the nose with my other responses to past reviews, but I don't perceive Melanie as a villain. Well, not necessarily. She's the protagonist, and this is her story of magic and love. Of course it would be a cleaner and more traditional tale if Melanie had a match to contest her, but that isn't the force I have opposing Melanie. That isn't the story I'm trying to tell.
I know I might have sounded harsh in this review~ I just wanted to reply genuinely since you did so as well. I hope you continue reading Endless and find more to enjoy! Perhaps my reply here might clear some of the air.
Date: November 05 2018 2:24 AM Title: Chapter One
So I want to start off by saying that this is an excelently written story; you manage to be detailed but without letting the story get bogged down. The pacing of each chapter is mighty fast for their length, and the story really has me invested in the fate of these characters. It's also just really refreshing to see a story that works well as an actual story and not just fetish material; it feels like an actual thriller honestly.
However things are beginning to feel a tad soap-opera-y after this chapter. Honestly I knew how this chapter was going to end but I kept wishing Mel would have an actual threat to contend with (though I also like cat and mouse crime stories), but it's beginning to feel like the tired old story of the characters never getting a break or a win. It makes reading less enjoyable; Chapter 12 was a well written chapter, but when the characters we want to root for keep losing you begin to expect that things will not go their way. It made the twist a bit eye-rolling. I feel like a better balance of giving victories to each side, even small victories for our small girls, would make the story less predictable and more engaging.
Not that I want to tell you how to write you story, you should write what you want, I'm just giving you my impressions as a reader in case you are interested in that. I like the story a lot it is just beginning to become predictable.
But overall I like the story a lot and I want to support any author who writes awesome F/f content because there is not enough of that in the world! I look forward to reading the next chapter.
On one last night... I know the story is all dark and serious, but for how much Mel is in love with Adrian we really do not get much, like, affection and love for Adrian... is that intentional? In some ways not seeing it fits the story... but as a lover of F/f dub-con as fuffing rare as the genre is... just had to ask, heh.
Keep up the good work!
Author's Response:
This! This is a good review! That's what I'm talking about.
It's music to my ears to hear folks enjoying Endless as something more than wank material. That's really what I wanted, a giantess story that captured both the eroticism and horror that comes with these kinds of situations. Crafted to my personal tastes, of course! I sometimes wonder if the elements that I find cute in this story are elements people are more spooked by, haha.
I understand your issue with Melanie not having a real opposition. She seems unstoppable, doesn't she? It can be discouraging to see these innocent people be knocked down, over and over. However, I think discouragement and degrade are a critical theme to this story. Melanie is oppressive and cruel, and she has all the chips on her side of the table. She controls the world of these people and she's savoring every second of it. Narratively, it would feel better to have some hope for our heroes -- a fighting chance. Unfortunately, Melanie really is that unstoppable. When everything looks like it could finally work out for Adrian and the others... it's depressing, isn't it? Everytime, there's nothing they can do. She either has something figured out, or a miracle happens for Melanie. The atmosphere of this story, truly, is despairing.
Perhaps that's what I want to ask from my readers. How long can something like this go on? Doesn't it stop? It's a question I like to see my readers thinking.
I'm glad I can bring some exciting F/f content to the site as well! It is unfortunate, however, that the theme of this story doesn't have a lot of room for the lovey affection parts that you (and I) crave. I actually do argue about where to include the softer scenes, but a lot of those ideas take a back seat as I try to focus more on the thrilling adventure parts. And, as the story has picked up pace, it's been hard to slow down and show more sincere moments. But with that said, I think Melanie's concept of affection is abstract. She really does love Adrian, in her own way. She'd kill for her! That much can be said, right? Melanie is a dark person and her one-track love is equally as dark.
Thank you again for this review, and thank you for reading! I really appreciate this critical input!
Date: November 03 2018 8:27 PM Title: Chapter One
I don't think I've ever wanted a villain to get there comeuppance more than reading this
I was certain you were ending it with the way twelve way going, but it seems like that sweet revenge is going to take a little longer
Author's Response:
I hope Melanie getting detective punch'd in the face can tide everyone over for now. I know a lot of you guys want to see Melanie put into her place, I hear you! I hope you continue to enjoy the series and thank you for the review!
Date: September 03 2018 4:05 PM Title: Chapter One
When I first read this one, I was like "Hmm..."
But after reading everything that's happened so far I find myself just wanting to see what happens next really. So good luck!
Author's Response:
Ah, the classic hmm. It means a lot to hear that you've been enjoying things thus far! Thank you for the review~
[Report This]Date: September 03 2018 9:12 AM Title: Chapter One
I really like this story, but if it gives in to vote, then I'm out. I think there's one thing to have a quite beleivabel character do what Melanie has done ( in a world where ppl shrink of course ) but that doesn't mean she would just become a cannibal. Too many stories go there and it never makes sense. Hopefully,this one won't tho as I'm loving the dominant melaMel.
Author's Response:
I'm happy to hear you've been enjoying it! Thank you so much for the review~
Date: August 22 2018 3:29 AM Title: Chapter One
beautiful story so far. love the interaction and the description of the charachter's emotions
Author's Response:
This is a lovely review, thank you so much! I'm glad my attention to details is paying off, haha.
Date: July 20 2018 1:30 PM Title: Chapter One
There's some very solid material being done here. I haven't read the whole thing yet, but the character development and interactions feel organic and involving. Melanie's dialogue and asides in particular are nuanced and make her seem three-dimensional as an antagonist, which also makes her more appealing as a less-than-nice giantess. Keep it up.
Author's Response:
Thank you thank you~ I really appreciate this review! When it comes to unhinged crazy girls, I love to hear their thoughts aloud. There's something unsettling about seeing the mental workings of their wild minds just out in the open to be heard, and Melanie especially has such horrible self-esteem, that it sort of adds another layer of humiliation -- being kidnapped and owned by someone who doesn't even think of herself that highly. Stuff like this makes Melanie so fun to write. Thanks again, I hope you continue to enjoy each chapter!
[Report This]Date: July 19 2018 1:39 PM Title: Chapter One
Your writing is really good, I simply feel less safe after reading a chapter because of the small chance of somebody like her walking around freely.
Thank you for writing! It is a really good story!
Author's Response:
Look out for the review below you, then! And thank you for the review, it means a lot~
[Report This]Date: July 17 2018 7:54 AM Title: Chapter One
This story is genius, Melanie is basically exactly me
Author's Response:
That's a terrifying thought! Thank you for the review~
Date: July 09 2018 3:41 PM Title: Chapter One
Keep up this story! I love it:)
Author's Response:
And I love these positive reviews! If anything is gonna keep me going on Endless, it's nice comments like this~ Thank you thank you!
[Report This]Date: June 29 2018 10:51 AM Title: Chapter One
You are the best :)
Author's Response:
I've actually checked, and you are the best.
[Report This]Date: June 29 2018 10:23 AM Title: Chapter One
This is the cutest thing ever!!! I love this kind of character, she's so cute but creepy in a hot way... The kind of girl I'd melt at. I'm the kind of girl who'd probably stutter and be frozen and all flushy at being called cute. I love this idea because it's so flexible you could take any girl anyone suggests.
I do wish there was a bit of a speed up to her actually doing things to the girls, but her power high descriptions are both relatable and adorable~ I can't wait to see more!
Author's Response:
Melanie is amazing, and she's creepy in a lot of ways, not just the hot ones. She's shamelessly my exact kind of fantasy girl, for the most part.
Thank you for your patience~ I promise this slow start will payoff going forward. I feel that with these types of stories, with Melanie's kind of character, developing bonds with the cast and taking time to digest Melanie's personality is crucial. The fear and passion get stronger when it's involving characters you care about. Thank you for review, I promise things get even more exciting soon~
[Report This]Date: June 29 2018 8:15 AM Title: Chapter One
Skilled writing, interesting plot, characters with personality, inherent conflict. You've got a winner with this story. I love the depth of Melanie's character and can't wait to read more.
Also, if you have any other writing on other sites you'd like to share, I'd be interested in reading!
Author's Response:
What a fantastic review. You're way too nice! I'm very happy to hear that people are appreciating Melanie. I'm proud of her.
I don't actually have a lot of writing elsewhere. I mostly write privately but I do have a couple stories that I might possibly post here. It means a lot to know that you really enjoy my writing, it encourages me to open up and post publicly more often!
Date: June 25 2018 9:07 PM Title: Chapter One
Man, it’s been a bit since I’ve read a story on here where I can’t wait to read the next chapter so much!! Hope Melanie has a dark side deep within...would be interesting to see her start to take a liking to Adrian as her favorite and start realizing she doesn’t need the others and starts disposing of them, maybe even shrinking more women to torment. Either way, I loved this first chapter!
Author's Response:
You'll be surprised to hear that my plans for Melanie include her assessing herself and making ammends to those she's hurt. That happens in chapter three, and that's followed by 10k words of insightful therapry.
I'm happy to hear you're invested in the story so far! It inspires me to keep writing~
[Report This]Date: June 25 2018 5:47 PM Title: Chapter One
I'm very much looking forward to more of this girl.
Author's Response:
As am I. It's very fun to write her so far and to discover what she'll do next. Thank you for the comment~