Reviewer: Octosquid11 Signed
Date: January 08 2024
Title: Chapter 10: Ch 10. The Best is Yet to Come
What a fucking phenomenal piece of literature. I mean no hyperbole when I say this is the gold standard for what a story should be. Characters are fun, descriptions are vivid, the lavish prose is amazing. Seeing the pair grow on each other is literally the best character work I've read, it feels natural and earned, while also not being too slow. The foreshadowing of the double-double cross way earlier in the story was great. I seriously have nothing but good things to say about this one. I could go on and on, and because you deserve it, I will. Rapid-fire round!
World is great, worldbuilding is well done and natural. I loved how you implied what decade it was through the technology rather than outright saying it (vietnam-war era weaponry, correct? Also, was that a nuke later in the story?). This is a world I'd love to see explored more if you ever do something like this again.
Gecko program is cool as hell, too, I adore that body-horror type stuff (genuinely super cool).
The tiny technology is a magnificent way of tipping the odds.
Setting is just great fun. I can really picture the lush forest, the shimmering blue water pools, the rocky outcroppings.
Again, I cannot understate how much fun it is seeing the pair interact throughout the story, alone on the island. I like their little films they make with one another, though I did worry for a moment that they were losing their shit.
The little bit about how easy it would be for Miriam to kill Lanz, while typically not my thing, elicited genuine fear from me, so great work with that.
Generally just great work making us feel connected to the characters.
TL;DR: fantastic work, the rating doesn't let me go high enough.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! This is extremely high praise, and I cannot express how much I appreciate it (though I'm gonna try anyway). This story was very stressful to write for a variety of reasons, most significantly that I've never done enemies to lovers before and was terrified of progressing their relationship at unsatisfying pace (whether too fast or too slow) and making sure it was believable. I'm so, so happy that I apparently managed to succeed on that front from your and others' feedback.
Thanks for appreciating my worldbuilding through the era of weaponry mentioned. I was actually going for WWII-era (which is why Baltzimar was in the middle of developing nukes), but I did cheat and included some later tech as "prototypes" (I had to include a Desert Eagle, I'm sorry!). My main goal was to establish this world as pre-computers/pre-cellphones, so Vietnam War is close enough for my satisfaction.
Environmental descriptions are something I struggle with more than characterization and such, so I'm glad so many people liked how I wrote the island. Tropics at least give me a lot of colors to work with, so that helps a lot.
I think after enough time stranded, anyone is going to go at least a little crazy, even hardened soldiers. I knew they wouldn't completely lose their minds, but after enough time from civilization, it makes sense their inhibitions would start to fade away.
I don't remember which moment you're referring to with me describing Miriam's ability to kill Lanz, but that's something I find very appealing about gentle giantess: the idea that they could effortlessly kill their tiny companion, but choose not to and consciously hold themselves back when handling them. Glad you were able to stomach that, sorry if I ever went too far with it lol.
Thanks again for all the kind words. I'm really proud of all the love this story has garnered.