Liking this a lot so far. Good stuff. You seem to have a great grasp of the written language, and the story flows smoothly. My one grammatical complaint is that when different people are talking they each deserve their own paragraph... sentence... whatever.

Lori's words and thoughts should be separate from Ethan's or anyone else. Otherwise a GREAT read!!!

Looking forward to more!

Thanks for sharing!

Curt

I am enjoting your story very much so far. Your writing style is very good and as others have stated you are quite descriptive in the scenes you present, something which is a personal favorite of mine. The little things like that do tend to make the story more interesting and enjoyable in the end.

Chapter 4 seemed a bit rushed to me, however. The story flows nicely, and your characters seem real and believable, which is always a plus. Your grammer is very good and every scene seems well thought out with a definite direction, adding to the drama and suspense of what will happen next. There did seem to be a few more spelling errors than usual though. Nothing major or too distracting, but still something to be aware of.

I know we all want to write and post as quickly as possible, or at least I feel that way, AND we are all writing and posting here for our own enjoyment of  the Giant/Giantess fetish as well as the enjoyment of others. Still, taking a pause after a chapter is done and giving it another read through often finds those simple mistakes that we all make from time to time. Just a suggestion in way of critique. It is your story after all.

I did enjoy Carly's flashback and the reference to 'Alice in Wonderland', though I'm curious as to which version of the movie you had in mind as they are all a bit different and the book they were based on even more so. Still, Alice is often forgotten as a spark to the Giantess/shrinking fetish. I, myself often reference comic books and 'I Dream of Jeanie' as being that personal spark, so it's nice to see something different in that regard.

I am left wondering at the end of Chapter 4 though. Is Bob simply having a dream or did Carly somehow find the means to shrink him? If the latter and assuming Bob is trapped in her doll house, why did she add the extra precaution of hand-cuffing him to the bed? For that matter, where did she find four sets of tiny hand-cuffs, unless she shrunk those down along with Bob? And the keys must be microscopic. How will she manipulate those and free her tiny husband? Not that I am complaining as my bondage fetish is at least as strong as my Giantess and Feet fetishes, but little things like that nag at my curiosity. I know, 'Get a life, carnaj, it's just a story'.

In all though, I think you are doing a great job and I look forward to each new installment. Keep up the good work!

Liking this a lot so far. It's been awhile since I read a 'Slow Shrinking' tale so it's a nice change. Glad to see that you are taking the time to read through it again and touch it up. Much appreciated and your efforts are shining as I have seen almost no errors after your editing.

I've liked the father/daughter scenario in the past and you seem to be playing it well. Kyra is getting more and more dominant as she realizes that her father is slowly becoming more helpless and dependant on her. Before long I can only imagine that he will be totally under her thumb. When that happens though, will she realize her responsibility when the bills start piling up and no money is coming in? She is spending wildly apparently at the moment in Chapter 3, but soon Dad will not be able to work. What happens then? Will her 'Power Bubble' burst? Little things like crisis make the story more believable, but looking forward to see what happens.

On the technical stuff, like i said your writing is spot on. Your characters speak and act like real people. Dad is dumbfounded and lost with what is happening to him and Kyra is taking full advantage. No errors worth mentioning in grammar or punctuation, if any that I recall.

Looking forward to reading more as Kyra takes control. Good stuff! Keep it coming...

First let me say that I am really enjoying this story.

I've been following since the first chapter and really liking the slow evolution of not only the characters, but the situation in whole. The focus on the main characters is excellent, but thankfully you remember that there is an entire world out there to join the cast; the cinema girls, other family members, people at school, and in this latest chapter, the cop. Too many stories on here and at other sites focus soley on the antagonist/protagonist in an ongoing tale and quite often lose my interest as it does not seem real enough. Not all of the characters are essential, but by simply adding a scene like when Kat's mother pops into her bedroom before the ski trip, lends to the reality of the situation. Little things like that keep me hooked, and other readers as well I'm sure.

Your depiction of the 3 main characters over the chapters has been intriguing. Poor Emily's world changed when she discovered her secret desires at the feet of the cinema girls. Confused throughout the story with her emotions in turmoil; wanting then not wanting the humiliation she secretly craves, the stress of her formative teenage years magnified a thousandfold. You handle her mood swings well, hating what has happened until her desires overwhelm her and she is lost to her fantasies as she was when in Kat's ski boot and slippers and more recently in Sophie's care.

Both Kat and Sophie are well-developed; loving friends that slowly turn into cruel tormentors, though with a good plot twist in that both think that they are helping their friend achieve her dreams with their torturous ideas. Sophie points out quite often and especially in chapter 14 that they are doing this for Emily's sake, and she should be more thankful. I enjoyed the slow progression as both friends thought less and less of Emily as a person, turned eventually into a slave and object and Sophie eventually commenting on all the time they have spent devoted to pleasing Emily, forsaking their own lives for those moments focused on their friend. Very good!

Your grammer and punctuation does tend to fluctuate a bit throughout, but overall there are no major problems. We all have the occasional mispelled word or misplaced period in our stories. The flow of the text is good and draws the reader on towards the end of the chapter. Most importantly, all of your characters seem real and speak like normal people. That is always a major plus as nothing will pull me out of a tale faster than characters that talk like they are grammatical robots, over-using terms like 'Little One' and speaking without contractions. Real people talk casually without thinking about it and you capture that in your story. Overall your story telling has improved since the first chapter of this run, and definitely beyond your other stories here on Giantess World. I'm glad that you are sticking with this one, hopefully until the much anticipated end.

As to that end, things look bad for poor Emily as Kat and Sophie have decided her fate. She literally has no say in what they do to her now, sewn into the insole of Sophie's insert and gagged in such a way that if they choose to force the shrinking solution into her she has no choice but to drink it. (I should mention here too that I have enjoyed the unique torments that you have thought up for Emily- the ski boot chapter was very well done, the shoe brush, the added various descriptions of the shoes... all nice touches.)

Hoping personally that Emily will not be shrunk to microscopic size, but that's me. Actually hoping for a happy ending here. Maybe the nerd will discover a cure or Divine Intervention will save poor Emily? Regardless, I have enjoyed your story and thank you for sharing it with us. Keep up the great work!

Hi. Another great story starting up here, and I am so far enjoying it very much. I don't get on here as much as I used to and missed your first 4 posts so was surprised and happy to find something new from you. Gave me some good reading tonight. On to the Review...

First off, I don't mind the 'Disorder' aspect of the story. That's good story-telling and piques the reader's interest right off the bat and gets them wanting to know what is going on. It foreshadows things to come and gives a glimpse of the future potential antagonsists, assuming of course that we are considering Nancy as being the Protagonist. With the Chapter set in the Teacher's Meeting, you set the stage nicely.

As always you have presented most of the characters well. Personally I prefer detailed stories that describe the characters' looks and clothing, the scene including the room, furniture, carpeting, et al. That's just me, but for the most part you manage to fulfill that for my reading pleasure at least. You've described Nancy, her closest friends and a few others like Ashley's mother quite well. Also several people including her Principal and her sister and mother. We get a good sense of their true attitudes towards Nancy's fetish, and I have no doubt that everyone who experiences 'Tiny Nancy' will eventually come to enjoy her and take advantage, including her mother.

It was nice to see that she has the love and understanding of her father to bail her out if things get too rough. Also I think that Ashley and her mother will try to look out for her despite being 'black-listed'. I enjoy that the soccer coach finds more degrading ways to humiliate Nancy. Youdo well in remembering that it is not simply shrinking that is so often enjoyed here, but the degradation that comes along with it. Torture and 'Death by Foot Crush' is all well and good, but detailing the little things like humiliation makes the story stand out and you've always given new ways to do that in a genre that is fairly set in its ways. I like to write Giantess/Tiny stories but always try to find a different angle. You do that well.

Finally on that subject, I'm very glad to see that you are not afraid to add male feet into the equation. That's generally a taboo about that on here and I have seen writers persecuted for it. Shouldn't happen as there are almost as many men in the worls as women and it's only natural that they would be involved. Good for you!

My only negative comments are about punctuation, and that because I Edit stories for other people so mistakes 'POP' out at me. Your writing as always seems natural, peoplespeaking as they should in Real Life. There are unwritten rules however; for instance...

When someone says something like; "I love this." She Said. It should read...

"I love this," she said.

I don't recall the technical term but whenever someone says something - a sentence that ends in anything but a period (!, ?, etc.) the following 'she said' or whoever, should be lower case. "I love this." Nancy said... or She said is not right. It should be "I love this," Nancy (or she) said. note the comma.

Not a BIG deal, but something to keep in mind. I Edit, so things like that stand out to me, but it does not detract from the reading enjoyment of your story. As always you are doing a great job and I am looking forward to the next chapter.

Keep up the Great work!

Carnaj

I'm really enjoying your story. Glad now that the mother is finally aware of what is happening and getting involved.

Your characters are believable, which is always good in any story. They speak like REAL people: always a plus. Nothing detracts from the enjoyment of a story (at least for me) is a character that speaks in archaic proper English. Real people say 'it's'... NOT 'it is'. Things like that; the little things you note just make the story better.

Olivia definitely has a cruel streak and seems to love tormenting her step-brother. And now his mother knows what's going on and what seemingly makes Mike shrink. She seemed rather unconcerned at his predicament and actually amused, placing him in a hamster cage. I think poor Mike's in even more trouble now.

Your writing is good and the story flows well leading the reader along at a good pace. No complaints over grammer or punctuation - no glaring mistakes that detract from the story. Looking forward to the next chapter with anticipation. Keep up the Great work!

Carnaj

Another great chapter, Max. Loving the build up as the girls get together to set the stage for James' unwitting, unwilling and unwanted demise. Looking forward to see their plan set into motion. I'm assuming that will happen next chapter and I'm looking forward to it.

You mentioned 'Brian's Solemate' as inspiration and I had to look it up on here. I hadn't read it before, but it was good. Truthfully however I am liking your take on the scenario better. Plus there were distracting mistakes such as getting the girls' names backwards in spots and such. Just little things that can easily be spotted in a quick read though before posting. I know writers get excited when they finish a chapter and want to post immediately - I'm guilty of that too. A quick read though however often picks up on the little errors. Your story so far seems that you take the time to do that and it is appreciated.

Like I said; great chapter and eagerly anticipating the next. Keep up the good work!

PS: Just read your message and will get back to you shortly on that.

carnaj

Still doing a great job, Max and still enjoying your story.

Faith and Yuna are turninginto quite the evil tormentresses and I don't see much hope for Jay unless one of them actually listens to him and hears why those websites were on his computer. Unfortunately that will probably be Yuna if she takes him to her home later and you already established that she won't care as she wanted him from the beginning.

Keep up the GREAT work!

carnaj