Another fine edition to the tale you have carefuly woven. I was hoping for a bit more time spent with kayla, however of the characters you have shown us I think Kate has been the most balanced and fleshed out. So i keep hoping she makes a return. 

This was a great read i enjoyed this story from start to finish. I was just re-reading your first chapter just the other day so i was quite overjoyed to see this posted in its entirety. 

This was written beautifully and had a unique story. I hope to read more stories for you. 

Really good read. i enjoyed it immensely as it was one of my favorites of the ones you wrote. sorry for the short reply but im typing this from my phone. will try to give more detailed review at home.

The emperor scorpion is a nice touch, I think you have done a good job establishing the amber character as a dictator, i would like to see more of why she is doing this. As right now it does kind of come off as shes mentally unhinged. 

The story itself has been a great read so far. Each chapter is better then the last.

This was a pretty good read. I always liked the idea of vengeful girlfirend and this turned out pretty well. The only real gripe I have was that the humilulation he went through wasn't described in a bit greater detail. 

However, i still enjoyed the read. Looking forward to your next tale. 

Really great start.  Looking forward to more

What you have here is good, i just think everything could be expanded a bit more. As with the expansion it would fleshout into a story a bit more. As it moves from idea to idea pretty quickly.

I understand this is your first story so i hope you continue. 

Seeing you write a story with more brief chapters has been really interesting as the weight of each word is alot more meaningful. You have a relatively descriptive style of writing so i always thought that you would be hard pressed to write shorter story with more brief chapters however, you have been proving me wrong. 

The way you elegantly weave a story is masterful. As you have a very nice way of describing the scenes fully with using very few words which is a talent hard to master. 

The main flaw i notice about your stories is you never really redeliver any descriptive traits of your characters as you continue through a story. This can be helpful to a reader especially when you have multiple characters and weeks and days inbetween chpaters. It helps recreate the full picture of the character. 

However, overall this was another enjoyable chapter the fact that this coming to an end in just one more is kind of sad. It's been fun to read. The janie character comes off really normal and typical which is perfect and the sister comes off like a slightly more balanced version of carly. 

Thanks for sharing

I personally prefer the characters described, but either way i plan on continuing to read this. 

Really enjoying the methodical pacing of this story. It has a nice slice of life feel to it as most of the activities revolve around things that jessica would normally do. It's not the usual glorified fetish fanfare of lick my feet or ass, etc. 

looking forward to chapter six.