Reviewer: Greenanon Signed
Date: January 05 2024
Title: Chapter 1: Callie vs. the Minimalist Mini
I liked the way this started, there are a lot of places this story could go, and I already like the synergy the two characters have. Sometimes a little outside encouragement is just what you need when you're down, but it sounds like Callie might have more serious problems than just some bad grades which are only being hinted at right now.
As far as Duncan goes he's got the mystery of exactly why he's small now as well as baggage (and potential appearances) from two psycho women, while his problems are, in my opinion, quite a bit more serious than Callie's, he seems to be much more confident and on top of them. He seems like a pretty driven guy who has already been through several events where most people would have just laid down and died, his actions with Callie also show a pretty meticulous mind, trying to judge her reactions to hints that he is around, observing her from the walls, etc. Now that he's got a secure base of operations I wonder if he'll start trying to figure out more about how he shrank? If his clothes shrank with him that indicates something that's not genetic or biological in nature, or maybe I'm overthinking it and this is a Groundhog Day situation where we don't really need to know for this tale.
Anyways godspeed on your first story, I'll be checking for updates!
Author's Response: Hey Green!
You're certainly on the right track as far as Callie's problems go. I was hoping that I didn't make her main issue too obvious with the way that I wrote the chapter, and I think you might have a good idea of where I'm going with this. She'll certainly need more than a little encouragement to get past what's bringing her down. In any case, that main issue will become obvious (and be outright spelled out) in the next chapter.
I think you've nailed down Duncan pretty well, and you're right: Despite admitting that Callie's issues are a bigger deal than just grades, Duncan's are way more serious, although I he might not be quite as on top of them as first appears (we'll get into that next chapter as well). He's definitely confident yet cautious, with the latter being just as much the result of his life before shrinking as it is the horrors he went thought post-shrinkage.
I also really, really like that you brought up (multiple times, even!) the question of how Duncan shrank! That was obviously glossed over in this chapter, but that's something that's going to play a part in this story as it progresses. I've read plenty of stories on this site that take that "Groundhog Day" approach (I really like this comparison for that type of story, by the way), and I'm not knocking them (in fact, there are some that I really liked), but it kind of bothers me when things like shrinking or growing are left completely unexplained. It's like stumbling into a mystery only to leave it unsolved.
Anyway, thanks for the generous review!